To think my friend is truly awful for doing this?

It's not a silly argument at all. No, you should never rely on another person to use contraception if you don't want children, even if you are in a loving relationship. I wouldn't ever rely on a man for contraception, I deal with it myself.

I'm sorry this is such a silly argument I had to say something. What if she assured him she was on the pill or some other kind of reliable contraception, but she lied?

Are you saying a man is to be punished for trusting his partner when in a loving relationship? Because it sounds like that's what your saying and that would be bonkers.

Exactly! I struggle to believe this post is real.

If it is, the misogyny of ‘all women fuck over men financially’ is really coming through.

He never has his kid and totally ignored her for a 1/4 of her life.

She’s not stealing - she’s just getting paid for all the free labour / childcare / mental load someone else is doing on behalf of a child he helped make but doesn’t help with on pretty much any level 🙄

I think you’re the bad friend to be honest. I imagine your friend went through hell being left when she was pregnant and raising a newborn baby alone while he waltzed off for 6 months with no responsibilities. I imagine now, like most mums, she’s still picking up more of the childcare and mental load than him. And you want to support him to pay the bare minimum? If you can’t see things from her side, she could do with a better friend than you.

Meh. Integrity doesn't pay the bills.

That’s up to you but I think integrity is important.

He can’t even be bothered to look up/ check with nursery the fees (where I am each nursery has their fees published online so am surprised he’s unwilling to spend 2 mins to check); I can bet he doesn’t even know which nursery his child goes to. As such, as someone else said before , she’s fully entitled to charge ‘admin’ fee. I don’t know how much her holiday allowance is but it’s not endless; also I bet she s the one taking time off when kid is sick etc.

There's no good reason for a man to not see his child for 6 months and not have them overnight. I don't care why they aren't together, that doesn't mean he can opt out of parenting. It's embarrassing how many women will fall over themselves to make excuses for them.

I have no sympathy for lying, stealing, mothers, and as a pp said if this is a sample of her character then maybe there are good reasons for why they are no longer together.

I really couldn't care less. Women are always expected to take the moral high ground and where does it get us.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

A man who didn't bother seeing his child for the first 6 months and doesn't even have her overnight or are you ignoring that bit? He deserves to be screwed over.

She only screwing over a man so on here there are a lot that will feel that is perfectly fine

I’m with you, I think it shows what she’s capable of and I’d think less of someone who does that.

Utter nonsense and pathetic excusing his behaviour. Again, he should have used protection if he didn't want a baby. You can't "trap" someone with a baby, if she got pregnant it means he was not using contraception, that's entirely his problem.

Sounds like they deserve each other.

I couldn't be bothered by this. He left her to deal with the pregnancy and early days? F him. He's a right shit, he's treated her awfully, what goes around comes around.

On the subject of your 'luxury' trip she's looking at - please don't be surprised if she books a Groupon deal or similar, and charges you the full rack rate, I.e. a free holiday for her as well.

This is what a friend tried to do to me. Obviously not a friend any more!

Tbh, I'd rather she hadn't told me, and it might affect how much I trust her to be honest in her dealings with me, but I don't think I'd feel worked up about it. If it bothers you, you should let the friendship cool off, but I wouldn't go further than that, personally.

Well, may be she was always a deceiving, money grabbing person and that's why he left. May be she got pregnant to try and trap him and he needed/ needs the extra time for his parenting instincts to kick in. Or may be, he is a horrible man. We don't know, and luckily the post is not about him.

Your friend, however, has bragged about being dishonest and greedy. So we know who she is. And if you don't like her anymore, you don't like her anymore.

It isn't great that she's bragging about it and that in itself would put me off a friend but if I found out accidentally that a friend was doing this (under her circumstances) then I'd think good for her. It seems like a fair price to pay for the emotional burden she has endured single-handedly during the first year of raising a baby.

I'm guessing the additional financial income is short-lived as her DD won't be in childcare forever.

That's what's coming across to me I'm afraid.

He's done morally wrong, and now she is doing it back. It's not something I would do and would disapprove of, but I can kind of understand why she is doing it.

This woman giving other women a bad name. Plus, she’s stealing. Or perhaps it’s fraud.

Is it right or honest? No but it’s really none of your business, it almost sounds like the reason you’re most upset is that you’re jealous she’s got more money than you?

In your opinion. And the facts are clearly that he hasn't stepped up. Come on, it's not yur friend is it? It's your boyfriends ex.

You sound like a terrible friend to her anyway to have so much more sympathy for him, than her. Yes it’s wrong but considering his behaviour in the past and the fact he still doesn’t have his child overnight or have any ideas regarding the nursery fees, I hardly think it’s that disgusting.