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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

394 replies

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

OP posts:
goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 23:08

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 23:03

The OP doesn’t want to buy the house. Just to ask for an explanation as to why they pulled out and felt entitled to waste thousands of pounds of the OP’s money.

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I was replying to a different poster and a different point entirely

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 23:03

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 21:01

If I was the seller in question and a buyer stalker turned up at my door trying to convince me to let them purchase my house after refusing their offer the first thing that I’d be doing is ringing the police. The very last thing I’d want to do is engage in a house sale with that level of crazy

Show quote history

The OP doesn’t want to buy the house. Just to ask for an explanation as to why they pulled out and felt entitled to waste thousands of pounds of the OP’s money.

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 22:58

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/05/2024 20:25

People change their minds, unfortunately. It happens in about 30% of house sales (from either side).

Doesn’t make it right. The very least you can do is offer an explanation.

LauderSyme · 01/05/2024 22:57

I thought this was a thread about the rhythm method 😳

Crystallizedring · 01/05/2024 22:51

I'd be pissed off in your place but much as I'd want to confront them it would be pointless. They probably still won't tell you and you'll end up more frustrated

Hopefully you'll find something better soon.

TonTonMacoute · 01/05/2024 22:48

No.

OriginalFloorboards · 01/05/2024 22:46

That’s awful OP. I had that happen to me years ago and had done surveys, searches, damp surveys and electrical etc. I was newly divorced and it was my dream house, but I did find another cottage and I absolutely loved it. I wish we had a different system in England.

schloss · 01/05/2024 22:42

@MyPeachLion The EA may not have known until today and I can imagine is not happy with the sale no longer proceeding in addition to how you are feeling, it is very difficult not to get emtionally involved in a new house.

What I would do, is write an email or letter to the solicitor, maybe sending a copy to the EA, thanking them for the info, saying how you are of course disappointed, but hoping all is well with the vendors and should they change their minds, you would be very happy to continue with the purchase.

Irrespective of how you are feeling, you do not know why they are withdrawn from the sale, you could ask your solicitor to speak to their solicitor to see if any further info is available.

Sometimes it is worth taking a deep breath and rising above how annoyed you feel just in case the situation can be retrieved.

Original poster
MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 22:42

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/05/2024 22:24

A tip for your next purchase though, don't start asking for people to go round measure up. Just wait until you actually own it.

Perhaps they were sick of me turning their house into 60 Minute Makeover...lesson learnt! I will just collate all the flooring samples and carpet cutouts into a big quilt-of-sorts until I finally exchange on a house, if ever.

OP posts:
Notreat · 01/05/2024 22:39

It's annoying but they don't have to tell you why they have pulled out and even if you knew it wouldn't make any difference to your situation

BuckFadger · 01/05/2024 22:38

To begin this I thought this thread was going to be about your partner.

HampdenRadius · 01/05/2024 22:34

If they don’t answer the door, remember to clatter the letterbox and shout “I know you’re in there….. FACE ME!!!!”.

KateDelRick · 01/05/2024 22:33

Go round, put their head in a headlock and shout "nah then mate - this is ma aaase!"
Celebrate the occasion with a new tattoo.

WhatNext24 · 01/05/2024 22:30

You absolutely cannot do that. How intimidating. It's very frustrating but also what you sign up for when you enter the (admittedly flawed) housing market in the UK. For all you know the sellers could be experiencing bereavement, illness, another crisis of their own. Or they could just be jerks - either way you don't have any right to 'confront' them. You are part of a legal process and they haven't breached it.

I would, however, be extremely pissed off with the estate agent for not telling you about it. They absolutely have a responsibility to do that and I can't understand what they hoped to achieve by not.

brunettemic · 01/05/2024 22:25

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

That’s not seriously a real question is it?!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/05/2024 22:24

A tip for your next purchase though, don't start asking for people to go round measure up. Just wait until you actually own it.

Georgie8 · 01/05/2024 22:19

You say they’ve already bought and moved into a new property.
I’m assuming they realise that they’ll now be liable to pay CGT on the sale of the house.
Assuming higher rate tax payers, that’ll be 28% -about £250,000.
Perhaps they’ve withdrawn so that they can figure out how to minimise their tax exposure? 🤷‍♀️

TheHateIsNotGood · 01/05/2024 22:18

YANBU but better go Reindeer here on MN then take your 'reasonable' outrage to the doorstep and get arrested. Your budget is irrelevant, mine will be about £150k next year when I hope to sell and buy much smaller for cash (probably non-traditional/unmortgageable property or a boat), I'm oldish.

And I would be mightily pissed off if someone did this so late in the game and would probably need 'holding back'.

PlipPlopChoo · 01/05/2024 22:18

No do not turn up at their house.

Phone ahead and tell them to roll out the red carpet.

Giglebtink · 01/05/2024 22:11

Makes sense.. house buying (and selling ) is stressful in this country!

‘Went all baby reindeer’ - it’s going to be a thing! Even though the baby reindeer wasn’t the stalker, still.

LakeTiticaca · 01/05/2024 22:08

The estate agent was unprofessional not informing you that the seller had pulled out.
Go online and give them a stinking review.

Original poster
MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 22:03

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Sorry, I was too busy choking on my own rage to see how unhinged baby reindeer 2.0 I sounded earlier.

I guess I became very emotionally invested over 10w and feel gutted out as a result.

I was being very unreasonable, and no, I will not contact the seller in any form.

FYI, I mentioned cash buyer because I wanted to nulify any theories about being gazumped by a cash buyer vs a mortgaged buyer, which would not apply in my specific case here.

And the 900k bit, I should have just left that out. I did not realise how often that will get referenced. Even if it was 200k, I would have felt the same rage.

OP posts:
Giglebtink · 01/05/2024 22:00

Sounds like you might have been gazumped? They don’t need to give you a reason why and you’ve got nothing to gain by trying to find out from them. Chalk it up to experience. Good luck finding another property!

Lauraa7 · 01/05/2024 21:59

The whole model needs to be updated! In Australia you agree upfront a period of 30/60 or 90 days and you agree the date you’ll move upfront, and then everyone works to that date. It means you can book the removalists, and plan your move. The UK system is so out of date.

neverbeenskiing · 01/05/2024 21:58

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 21:51

A stranger that you refused to sell your house to coming to your door uninvited to question you on your reasoning behind it would be classed as harassment. They have absolutely no entitlement to be there, nor be given the reason why and I would have no issue in making the police aware. It’s stalker behaviour

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It's not harassment unless it happens more than once. It is completely batshit though.