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AIBU?

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I think I’m being a snob

172 replies

DefinitelyNC · 01/05/2024 14:07

I didn’t get to meet my family abroad for years because of Covid. We then all met on neutral ground at a wedding abroad and my adored nieces had turned into tweens and teens and I was surprised to see them all with strong make up, very long fake nails and lashes, cutout dresses, very short shorts with sparkly parts of their underwear pulled up and on show - both bra and knickers. I wasn’t sure how and why my sisters allowed all this, especially for the ones who were only 11/12. They also turned up at the wedding like this, in their inappropriate (Shein, apparently) tight and cutout dresses and flip-flops.

We’ve since invited one my sisters over to London to celebrate our big wedding anniversary (we are hugely lucky to live in a very nice area) and said we’ll take them out to some lovely restaurants and shows and suggested they bring appropriate clothes - just in case they’d bring only comfortable wear to do the usual tourist stuff.

The evening of the first dinner arrived, we dressed up and I had a near heart attack when her 12 year old was ready to go in a bright pink matching tracksuit with the word ‘Juicy’ written across her bottom in sparkly letters. Also wedge trainers that didn’t even match. My sister wore an oversized old jumper and decided to not style or even brush her hair and didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup. Her husband is a very successful doctor, they have a large home with a pool and a second large holiday home - it’s not about not having the resources. She used to work in fashion and always had a go at me when I was growing up if anything I wore wasn’t perfectly matched. I found myself so deeply ashamed to go to our regular really nice restaurant. For subsequent dinners we had head to toe sequins with trainers and some other interesting choices.

Her Italian husband (who is an incredible guy - kind, funny and polite) has always had an imaculate sense of style and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

I feel terrible, she asked about coming back later in the year for my 40th birthday, if they will then I would only be able to relax if we have a BBQ in our garden or something.

Punch away! 😭

OP posts:
DefinitelyNC · 01/05/2024 16:07

I was a teenager myself and I fully understand that they’re all exploring styles etc but I don’t appreciate the over-sexualisation of children.

I also watched plenty of Little Britain episodes and something died in me when I had to take Vicky Pollard (down to hairstyle and dark lip contour) out for champagne and oysters. If you’re all fully comfortable doing that then you’re much, much better people than I am.

OP posts:
ouch321 · 01/05/2024 16:05

Bunkum

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 01/05/2024 16:03

I honestly believe that teenage girls ( of which I have some!) should be taught that there is a time and a place for tiny clothes ( once they are old enough to wear them - not 12!)

I am constantly reminding my girls of their worth and value and how some of their clothing choices can be detrimental to that. I don’t allow the cut outs or the chavvy juicy and if that makes me a snob then I’m happy to be one!

I allow some make up but no fake tan and luckily the school is very strict re eyebrows and nails etc. but I wouldn’t be letting them do that until at least 16 ( and at their own cost)

class can be taught. Girls don’t need to follow a trend just because it’s a trend, I always make sure my girls are dressed appropriately for the event.

Heatherbell1978 · 01/05/2024 16:02

This sounds like the kind of stuff I'd think but never say. DH nieces fit that bill but I'm also very aware of how impressionable girls of that age are and I had to tell off DH when he commented on their attire. I do remember clubbing in crop tops at the age of 18. I'd have worn a bra if I could have got away with it.
As for the mum, that's just a bit unkind. We don't all have the time or energy to glam up.

Freakinfraser · 01/05/2024 16:01

Seriously? Your snobbery comes before your relationship with your family? I assume your concern over what folks think about you?

keeping up appearances 90s GIF
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 01/05/2024 16:00

You’re a giant fucking judgemental snob. Their clothes may or may not have been ghastly but it has fuck all to do with you.

DappledThings · 01/05/2024 16:00

Misthios · 01/05/2024 15:04

Sparkly knickers and cut out dresses for 11 and 12 year olds is not appropriate on any planet.

Not using face cream and make-up is an entirely different thing.

This. They are two entirely different things.

Young girls inappropriately dressed is gross and worthy of concern and comment. An adult woman choosing not to wear make-up is no issue at all

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 01/05/2024 15:57

'The clothing doesn't sound to my taste, but as I am not wearing it then it's not my business'...keep repeating this in your head @DefinitelyNC, and eventually it will sink in! I think we all have 'what the heck?' moments regarding folk's clothing choices at some point in our lives, even those of us who are not really into style/being judgemental, and at least you are recognising that might well BU!

Huldrafolk · 01/05/2024 15:56

You should report her DH to the Medical Council of Italy asap. Apparently doctors get struck off the register if their wives don’t style their hair.

HaggisBurger · 01/05/2024 15:55

Seasidesavvy · 01/05/2024 15:37

@CrappyBarbara its back in! My very cool 20 year old is wearing it, but not top to toe a la Paris Hilton 2004

Yes it is exactly.

In a retro 90s/2000s way which is funny.

purpleme12 · 01/05/2024 15:52

Overtheatlantic · 01/05/2024 14:46

I’m here!

😂😂

Kingoftheroad · 01/05/2024 15:51

This has got to be a wind up. If not you should be grateful to have a loving family some people have no one. Get a grip

Idontjetwashthefucker · 01/05/2024 15:50

OMG, it's almost like none of this is actually true.

Wonder how many more 'chavvy' things OP could fit into another post.

Luxell934 · 01/05/2024 15:49

And what did YOU wear OP?

Mockingjay123 · 01/05/2024 15:48

I wouldn’t refer to you as a snob. Conventional maybe. Such a shame that your reunion with your family following covid was about what they were wearing and not just enjoying the time you finally had together.

Toooldtocareanymore · 01/05/2024 15:45

you have to get yourself one wear it round the tween then she won't want to go anywhere near it ..
https://ie.juicycouture.eu/en-ie/collections/ss24

https://ie.juicycouture.eu/en-ie/collections/ss24

AntisocialPotNoodle · 01/05/2024 15:45

People wearing whatever the fuck they want?

Oh No Wtf GIF by LilLetsOfficial
Shoxfordian · 01/05/2024 15:44

Hope this is a reverse and you're not actually so narrow minded

JamieDee · 01/05/2024 15:41

At least you know you're stuck up

KateMiskin · 01/05/2024 15:39

I need to wear makeup now to eat out in London? Sure.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 01/05/2024 15:39

OMG your sister didn't wear any make up.

The shame.

Go no contact.

It's the only way forward.

And teenagers dressing like teenagers. 😳😳😳

Sending hugs to you hun. Xxx

SallyWD · 01/05/2024 15:38

My 13 year old daughter like to wear tiny clothes, fakes nails etc. It's really not to my taste but it is the fashion for young girls (sadly). I personally wouldn't have been bothered about the tracksuit - I'd just be relieved they were covered up! Unless you went to an extremely posh restaurant I really don't think the clothes would be a problem. Wherever I go these days (even expensive restaurants and the theatre) many people seem to dress down so I don't think your relatives would stand out at all.

Seasidesavvy · 01/05/2024 15:37

@CrappyBarbara its back in! My very cool 20 year old is wearing it, but not top to toe a la Paris Hilton 2004

CrappyBarbara · 01/05/2024 15:35

LaurieFairyCake · 01/05/2024 14:56

Nothing wrong with the tracksuit on a kid, it's normal fashion on a little girl (not my taste either)

Adults don't have to wear make up Confused

If be very surprised if anyone noticed any of this in London since I also live there and even in the fanciest places some people dress very casually

Except that nobody has worn Juicy since approximately 2005. Not even tweens.

Revelatio · 01/05/2024 15:33

This must be a joke. Does Hyacinth Bucket even know how to access the internet, let alone start a Mumsnet account?!!!

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