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Original poster

If money was no object would you leave?

135 replies

Springtime111 · 01/05/2024 11:12

DH and I were discussing a couple we know who are not very happily married. Of course, we don't know the intricacies, and they 'jog along' but chatting between us we wondered if they stay more for the nice house/business etc, as don't really seem to like each other very much from things they say to us, and regularly threatening to leave (but never do)

It got me wondering how many people would actually leave their spouse if they came into a large sum of money so there's no financial difficulties to encounter going it alone. I'm guessing a lot.

Would you?

OP posts:
Freakinfraser · 01/05/2024 11:54

No, but I do understand your question, as I see a lot of threads on here where women are in bad situations, abuse, cheating, unhappy, and I’d say nine times out of ten they ultimately reveal they can’t leave as they have no money.

im also sure a lot of people stay foe the lifestyle and fear of being alone.

Doteycat · 01/05/2024 11:53

No.
Money isnt really an issue here anymore, we have more than enough, so no, is the answer.
We been broke as hell and we were still happy.
Now we are fairly well off, and still as happy, just no money worries.

Bullshots · 01/05/2024 11:53

The best way to find out is to earn plenty of your own money so that you can be sure you are staying because you want to, not because you have to.

BigRedCat · 01/05/2024 11:53

Nellieinthebarn · 01/05/2024 11:45

No I wouldn't leave, I would share my good fortune with him and our children.

Oh I’d share the good fortune, but I’d also celebrate that the good fortune allowed me to leave!

skippy67 · 01/05/2024 11:52

I wouldn't leave, but I'd buy my own little bolthole that I could escape to from time to time...

User2460177 · 01/05/2024 11:52

SoftPuppyBlanket · 01/05/2024 11:30

If you have children do you think they would rather you be alone and poverty stricken?
I don't think most women stay 'for the nice house' for themselves, they are trying to ensure their children get the best start possible in life.

Show quote history

often staying for the kids can be an excuse because the couple are too scared to separate tho. It was for my parents

BigRedCat · 01/05/2024 11:51

I’ll be out of the door the second I have enough money coming in.
IRL I know loads of women who feel the same as I do. Stuck because of finances.

twotoneblue · 01/05/2024 11:51

I'm happy with my partner, but would prefer my own space

twotoneblue · 01/05/2024 11:51

ByUmberViewer · 01/05/2024 11:16

I'm not sure about married couples but I suspect a big percentage of co-habiters do so for financial reasons.

This is true in my case. If I could afford to I'd rather still be living apart. I'm in my 50's though and spent 11 years living on my own post divorce and only realised now how much I loved it!

Waitingfordoggo · 01/05/2024 11:50

I had a huge inheritance which I could have kept to myself but no, I stayed with my H and shared it with him cause I quite like him.

NeverEndingWait · 01/05/2024 11:48

Absolutely not

ICanFixHim · 01/05/2024 11:48

No. In fact if money was no object any issues we do have wouldn't exist. We're generally very happy.

HeraSyndulla · 01/05/2024 11:47

TuesdayWhistler · 01/05/2024 11:35

I do have a kid

I have always believed that a happy poor single parent is better than two miserable wealthy parents.

Show quote history

I have single parent friends and they don't just struggle, they survive. Only just.

They don't seem very happy to me.

Nellieinthebarn · 01/05/2024 11:45

No I wouldn't leave, I would share my good fortune with him and our children.

ClipClopperDontStopper · 01/05/2024 11:45

The way our capitalist society is set up means it would be naive not to assume loads of couples are plodding on because it's not financially viable to split. Especially in 2024 when things are tighter than ever for so many.

Many are probably indifferent to the relationship rather than actively miserable but remain together because it's easier than the alternative.

gwenneh · 01/05/2024 11:41

Not a chance.

Mayhemmumma · 01/05/2024 11:39

I would see if the money helped first - I think it would, there would be much less stress and more enjoyment. There's a saying, something like, when money troubles arrive, love leaves or similar.

Seaside1234 · 01/05/2024 11:36

Yes, but I'm in the situation that I'm the higher earner, so the money would let me buy him out of our house. It's not always the case that the woman is the financial dependent.

suntannedsnowballsinhellskitchen · 01/05/2024 11:35

At times money and my big house has kept me in my marriage (I do work but I don't make enough alone to keep up my standard of living)

Once the children came along, there were times when I stayed because I did not want to upset their lifestyles/security

However - I kept all these thoughts to myself, worked hard on identifying what was wrong with me and made an extra effort with my husband

We are far from perfect but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else

TuesdayWhistler · 01/05/2024 11:35

SoftPuppyBlanket · 01/05/2024 11:30

If you have children do you think they would rather you be alone and poverty stricken?
I don't think most women stay 'for the nice house' for themselves, they are trying to ensure their children get the best start possible in life.

Show quote history

I do have a kid

I have always believed that a happy poor single parent is better than two miserable wealthy parents.

SoftPuppyBlanket · 01/05/2024 11:30

TuesdayWhistler · 01/05/2024 11:26

I think the more interesting and related question is:

Do you think people staying for financial reasons are exchanging their limited life time and intimacy for financial gain?

Because that's what I can't understand tbh

If there's no abuse or dangers that would stop a woman from leaving and she chooses to stay because nice house and money, it seems to me that shes just selling her limited time on earth and physical intimacy for money?

I couldn't do that. I didn't do that. I'd rather be alone and poverty stricken than stay for the money.

If you have children do you think they would rather you be alone and poverty stricken?
I don't think most women stay 'for the nice house' for themselves, they are trying to ensure their children get the best start possible in life.

TuesdayWhistler · 01/05/2024 11:26

I think the more interesting and related question is:

Do you think people staying for financial reasons are exchanging their limited life time and intimacy for financial gain?

Because that's what I can't understand tbh

If there's no abuse or dangers that would stop a woman from leaving and she chooses to stay because nice house and money, it seems to me that shes just selling her limited time on earth and physical intimacy for money?

I couldn't do that. I didn't do that. I'd rather be alone and poverty stricken than stay for the money.

sendismylife · 01/05/2024 11:26

Yes

VelvetBow · 01/05/2024 11:24

God no. I'll love this man poor and I'll love this man rich.

Witchbitch20 · 01/05/2024 11:24

I wouldn’t leave because I would be financially secure but if I won the lottery and could ensure he was I would leave.