If money was no object would you leave?

No, she didn't make that specification. She said:

It got me wondering how many people would actually leave their spouse if they came into a large sum of money so there's no financial difficulties to encounter going it alone. I'm guessing a lot.

Would you?

And then added:

I wonder if a lot stay in unhappy, unfullfilling marriages because of the fear of going it alone financially.

Perhaps she didn't mean to ask that and will come back to change the question, but at the moment, she's definitely just asking if you'd leave if you had no financial worries about it. She seems to be trying to get an idea of how many people are in the situation of an unhappy marriage, so it makes sense for people who wouldn't to respond.

Yes. I know I am wasting my life but the thought of struggling financially makes me feel miserable and I would be concerned with what my husband would do if I left.

This isn't the life I imagined I would have.

But surely the question only applies to people in unhappy relationships?! As pp said, a couple who are happy but hard up aren't going to split up if they come into money. They would simply become happy and comfortably off.
The question is: would you leave your unhappy relationship/marriage if you had the funds to do so?

I think it's easy to say you'd rather a life alone in poverty than together but miserable, but it's rather missing the grey area. Lots of couples aren't blissfully happy but aren't totally miserable either, and there's no guarantee they would be happier single/with someone else. Also, living in genuine poverty is probably going to be far worse for many than comfortably off in a "blah" marriage! That's like people who say money can't buy happiness when they are sitting pretty on a decent salary in a nice house!

I do think there are people who say they can't leave for financial reasons when in fact, they are just very scared of making the leap into the unknown. And I think this is very justified to be honest, leaving a known (even when it has its issues) for a total unknown is scary. You know how you can cope with your current situation, you don't know if/how you would cope in future. It's big stuff!!

That's not really true. OP didn't limit it to unhappy relationships. She said that she suspected many people in unhappy relationships stay for financial reasons, then threw the floor open to ask us if we would leave if money made it possible. A lot of us have said no.

Been the best thing I ever did. Money was an object, and I still found a way to leave. I'm thriving financially and personally in a way I never would have been able to if I was still married to him, he was borderline financially abusive and absolutely held the purse strings, I'm sure that was no accident.

I know plenty of couples who feel trapped together financially, but whether they would find another reason to stay together if their financial situation changed who knows.

Yes, I thought that response was weird. Thread is about unhappy relationships.

Not now, but there was a time when I would have. I used to fantasise about winning the lottery so I could leave. Our marriage is in a much better place now, and that has taken work from both of us. I'm actually in a position now where if I wanted to I could afford to leave, but so far, I don't want to!

Not talking about all relationships.

This thread was about unhappy people in relationships.

Why would happy people leave if they had enough money?

I asked, basically: If someone is unhappy and they stay because money, aren't they selling their life?

People happy in relationships don't even factor into the topic or my comments.

I left exH knowing I couldn't keep the house and would have to downsize to a flat and one income. He would have been happy to continue as we were.

House would be £1m+, but when a marriage has problems, you can put windows and doors around it but it doesn't solve the issues.

This is very sad, I assume that’s your experience.? I am married, we don’t walk on eggshells. Or spend time worrying. And our home is full of love, comfort and laughter. Is your impression now that’s what is like in all relationships?

No ( unless I was considering it anyway) buy I'd move to a house where we could have separate rooms. Or buy him his own house.

That's a shame.

I'm absolutely happy.

I have my own space. I don't have to adjust what I do or where I go or accept any issues that a partner may bring.

Our house may only had us 2 & pets.
But it's full of laughter and fun. There's no arguing, no anger, no pouting adult child that we have to manage the responses of.

Personally and speaking just for me..

There is not a house big enough that I'd walk on eggshells for.
There is not a bank account full enough that I'd spend my life worrying about the responses of another adult.
There are no fancy meals, holidays or cars or any other purchasable crap that I would put over having my daughters home be full of fun and laughter.

Now maybe one day I'll meet someone that brings fun and laughter, but, they'd have to be damned near perfect for me to even entertain them.

I'm more than happy as a single parent, in Fact, I'm thriving.

No definitely not.
Dh did come into quite a bit of money recently and the first thing he told me to do was for me to plan something great for us. (I'm the chief events organiser in our house!)
With the rest of the money he let me decide what to do with it.

My life wouldn't change financially, so no, money would never be our reason to split. I stay through love.

No

No - if money was no object we'd have a great time.

No. I adore him.

No. I think one of the main strains is the fact that we both work full time yet still have no money for any fun. Haven't had a holiday for 8 years, weekends seem to be spent catching up with household chores, life admin and shopping, and it all feels like a relentless grind. If we had the money he could actually pay privately to have the op he needs in order to be fully mobile and able to enjoy life and be more active. Instead he has to wait til he is completely immobile and older before the NHS will do a knee replacement op. Consequently, because he can't move easily, he's putting on weight, which exacerbates the problem.

I don’t agree with this. At all. It’s an excuse a best start in life is a happy home. Not two parents who don’t wish to be together,

I see it a lot, I’m staying foe the kids. No no they aren’t. They are staying ultimately as that’s what they wish for themselves. Or they’d fuck off out of it when the kids went to secondary.

Well that's fair enough! and if I was still with vile first husband he wouldn't have seen me for dust!

But no, I adore my partner and I’d totally want to share the financial windfall with him.

I’d think it’s more likely to happen if you are married, given how expensive divorce is!

I’m a single mum and I’m happy and so are my daughters. We manage fine