If money was no object would you leave?

Is it really such a bad reason to stay together? If you rub along fine, like one another, are friends, and there’s a bit of affection and intimacy occasionally, is staying together because if affords you an easier, more comfortable lifestyle, a bad thing?

No.

I was trapped as a child. I made sure as an adult that I would never be in that position again.

Sounds like they're both getting what they want out of it, then.

My first thought is yes, I would leave. But I do wonder if I would have different feelings if the stresses that a lack of money brings to our life (we are not at all well off, life is a struggle) were gone, so I would stay for at least a year.

No. DH enhances my life far more than he detracts from it.

I think right now I would. I'm mostly staying in a not-terrible but not great relationship for the children (for me to still be with them and for them to have the stability and opportunities our situation provides).

It's a marginal call, but if it was enough money that I wouldn't need to work then I (and DP) could have enough time to have quality time with the children even with 50% access.

The children wouldn't be impacted as much as if we split with our current financial situation - because to split now would lead to the children having a lower quality of life and disruption (sell family home, more breakfast clubs / after school clubs, less extra curriculars etc).

Nope.

I once felt trapped in a relationship like that. Then he got a serious illness and passed away. It's taken years to process the complicated grief/guilt. Would I have taken the money and left him? Yes. It's very tough, feeling trapped in a bad relationship.

Would I take the money and leave my DH now? Absolutely not in a million years.

Thanks for replying.
Yes, and bills, but the mortgage isn't terribly high for our age. My partner could afford it himself. I am willing to leave the family home, but also don't see why I should.
He doesn't want to split up. I facilitate his life. All housework, do most of childcare, I even sleep on the sofa every night as he snores. He's got a pretty sweet deal out of it.

Just so many factors. Scared of loosing DD- my partner and ILs are capable of fighting dirty and gaslighting. DD adores her dad. Scared of him running away with her.
I have fragile MH and don't know if I can ever make the leep.
We've tried everything. Talking , couples counselling. Nothing works. Just lots of underlying resentment building up over the years that we both can't shake off.
X

No, I had to kiss a LOT of toads (I like frogs) to find my husband. If money were no object we'd have fun spending it together 😁

No

No but I know a couple who are more a mutual dependency than a marriage. All she wants is the house and he’s so dim he relies on her to do everything for him. Everything

No, we’re two peas in a pod and yet somehow manage to make up for where the other falls down (I think he feels the same lol!!)

Your post assumes people stay for the ' nice house' which is quite judgy.

For many its about not so much about ' staying for the nice house' ( that house is not longer nice if you are living with someone you don't like - its no longer a space of comfort, is it?) its more staying to avoid dire financial destitution, and upheaval for kids to live in a deprived area. Not many want to drag themselves or their kids into that. For some its a choice between shit and shit options.

There is a view on here that leaving will always result in a happy ever after. Not all are in a place to rebuild a stable financial life after leaving and many would have to uproot their kids, or face losing custody to the father if the father can afford to stay in the marital home and they cannot. Not all have husbands that are competent to raise the kids if they gained custody but could not prove this in court.

Some women face really hard choices and hard lives not matter what they do. That situation is made worse by knowing others will judge you as 'staying for the money'.

No.

Absolutely not. After much trial & error, I finally found the right man. We are not married & childfree by choice. I am financially comfortable and I have a good job, so I could easily leave if I wanted to but I have no intention of doing so. Fortunately for both of us, he feels the same.

Yes

Yes, in a heartbeat.

There was no amount of money that could have ever got me to leave my late OH. And I'd burn everything I own to the ground for one more day with him.

I know some couples who would take the money and split though, but I don't see the point in wasting life with someone you don't love. It's too short.

Plenty of couples can't afford to divorce, it's very sad.
It is always telling to me how many women with self made money or inherited money choose to live alone...

This is sad. Is it the mortgage that would be the concern?

No. I'm quite fond of him.

I could leave anyway. I'm financially independent and haven't mixed finances. Always thought that a daft idea.

I agree, the example OP gave is of a 'not very happy marriage' and she also supposes that a lot of people would leave their marriages if they came into money. So she's asking about people in unhappy relationships.

If people in happy relationships would leave their partners just because they came into money then that is really weird. Especially as if they're married they'd have to give half the money to their partner anyway.

Yes.
We've been together 12 years this summer. Unhappy for the last 5 or 6.
He won't leave.
I can't afford to.
I don't have the kind of family or friends who will help me at all.
It's very hard.
for the others on the thread who've said similar.

Exactly the same here.