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AIBU?

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Being upset my husband went to the gym while I'm pregnant and dealing with flu

85 replies

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 18:13

First time Post so please bare with me.
I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with our second child and have been suffering with spd pretty bad, I work 9 hour shifts which require me to be on my feet for the duration and I get tired easily right now.

Last week husband came home with flu, he finished work early for a number of days and really suffered, I cooked, made sure the house was clean and took care of our 6 year old so he could rest. Now I'm suffering with the flu, not as badly as him as I've had my flu jab but it has worn me out. I'm trying to rest and recover for my shifts this week.

Today husband decided it was the perfect time to go back to the gym after taking the week off to recover, he waited until this afternoon to tell me and then half heartily offered to stay home to "help" (watch YouTube videos on his phone)
I admittedly told him it doesn't matter and he just nodded and left.
I know I should have told him to stay but he would have just gotten annoyed.
I'm just really upset that he decided to leave his heavily pregnant wife at home alone with their 6 year old while she's sick so he can workout.

I know im probably over reacting, I have pain moving around, been having horrific tooth and jaw pain which I've had to take co codamol for (little sleep), dealing with flu and just emotional

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 30/04/2024 19:04

However disappointing they are, never fall into the trap of saying 'It doesn't matter'

They will absolutely hear 'it doesn't matter' and not the incredibly disappointed/angry tone of voice. Then when you point it out later it'll be your fault for not communicating.

ManchesterBeatrice · 30/04/2024 19:03

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 19:02

@THisbackwithavengeance

We've had a lot of conversations about me neededing extra help but it never seems to help.

I'd feel really guilty about watching him struggle

I think you need to change this language.

chaticat · 30/04/2024 19:03

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 19:02

@THisbackwithavengeance

We've had a lot of conversations about me neededing extra help but it never seems to help.

I'd feel really guilty about watching him struggle

You'd feel guilty watching him learn how to cook? Does he have a disability that makes it difficult for him to cook?

chaticat · 30/04/2024 19:02

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 19:00

@RandomMess
I have asked my boss for a risk assessment but he is dragging his heels about it. I was planning on working until the 34 week mark but it doesn't seem possible right now

Husband isn't very domesticated, he can't cook, gets annoyed with our child easily and puts my struggling down to hormones and my feelings

He's a dick. Why are you with him? Seriously?

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 19:02

@THisbackwithavengeance

We've had a lot of conversations about me neededing extra help but it never seems to help.

I'd feel really guilty about watching him struggle

OP posts:
chaticat · 30/04/2024 19:02

"help" he can fuck right off it's not "help"

Fatandtired12 · 30/04/2024 19:00

@RandomMess
I have asked my boss for a risk assessment but he is dragging his heels about it. I was planning on working until the 34 week mark but it doesn't seem possible right now

Husband isn't very domesticated, he can't cook, gets annoyed with our child easily and puts my struggling down to hormones and my feelings

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 30/04/2024 18:21

I was going to say YABU but on reflection no.

Many men are inherently selfish and entitled OP and his behaviour is a reflection of that. Hopefully next time he's ill, you make sure you don't lift a finger for him.

RandomMess · 30/04/2024 18:18

SPD you need to be resting and getting a risk assessment for your job.

He needs to

  1. Do his share
  2. Take over and let you rest as much as possible.
ManchesterBeatrice · 30/04/2024 18:14

Why is he referring to shared tasks as help.

That's unreasonable in itself.

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