Aibu to ask DH to come home immediately from business trip?

Read the updates?

Bowel cancer?

I’ve been in your position OP, debilitating chest and back pain to the point of passing out and collapsing. I’d had 4 MRI scans of various areas, bloods, saw a pain consultant, physiotherapy, support psychologically. I’d also got to the point where I’d seriously considered the pain was in my head. Eventually I collapsed, and rushed to A&E and it transpired that I had 4 areas of internal bleeding and required 3 blood transfusions and of course action taken to stop the bleeding. My point is to keep pushing for diagnosis and resolution, it’s unlikely the pain is in your head so keep pushing back and exhaust every avenue. Luckily my DD is 11, I can’t imagine how difficult it is with yours at 3 and 18 months. Sending hugs

Oh I am so glad that you are here!!

I bet that the OP hadnt thought of any of that!!

I think you must go private. It's no way to live and impacts so much. Hopefully you get a answer soon.

Op, your husband and inlaws are not useful. So you have to be the one to organise a plan for childcare while you attend hospital etc. Can you access professional babysitters, Foster Care or a trusted neighbour?
If husband will not be coming home, you still need to inform him of where the kids are and of your whereabouts while in medical care.
On going - I would be continuing with investigations and questions to my GP and specialists until I had better conclusions and pain relief.

And who the hell asks if a person could be suffering from Bowell (sic) cancer?!

Well given that the person who cares for the kids is her husband and he said he wasnt coming home and was sick of her "drama", what do you suggests she does?

Her inlaws wouldnt piss on her if she was on fire and she is, due to her condition, struggling to make a network of people to rely upon.

Maybe RTWT next time, yeah?

Call for an ambulance.
Call whoever you call during an attack, to care for the children.
Inform DH of your condition and plans.
Discuss whether he should come home with him.
Have many more investigations into your condition and set up a routine plan for the kids if you are out of action.

Could you be suffering Crohnes, Coeliac Disease or Bowell Cancer?

@5128gap @CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine @djs94 @Unicornleapfrog

Might you consider going back and reading the thread now - or at least the OP’s updates?

Someone forgot to take their "DONT BE A TWAT" pills this morning.

Nasty

I haven't read the whole thread although I see you have had gynae referral, so apologies if this has already been mentioned, but if not done already, please ask to test for ovarian cancer. This is said with absolute kindness, and not meaning to scare monger at all - the massive likelehood is it isn't that, so please take this with the spirit it's intended . But from personal experience I know that ovarian sypmtoms can be mistaken for bowel related and regularly get missed. Sending kind thoughts - chronic pain is horrendous, and when there isn't an explanation for it, that's even harder to deal with x

That is a hugely strong and also really quite bizarre reaction from your DH!
Is he 1) feeling vulnerable at being unable to fix your pain and then taking it out on you for being the thing that makes him feel like that 2) annoyed his wife-bot is on the blink or 3) annoyed at you interrupting him while he is away because actually he is having his monthly night away with his girlfriend (whether at work beforehand or not)? Let us hope it is 1 as that is the one with the most hope for your future stability.
I hope the children sleep well tonight and you can get medical care tomorrow morning.

Definitely ask him to come home. Have they checked you out for Endometriosis?

No of course not. When one parent can't take care of the DC the other needs to step in. No question about it. If you're as unwell as you sound it's potentially unsafe for you to be in sole charge of such young DC, and he should come home for their sake if not for yours.

Why post if only to be nasty? FWIW phones tend to be a bit easier to handle than small children.

I’m sorry OP it’s a tough situation and I would ask him to come back, I can’t fathom why anyone would suggest otherwise.

As always with Mumsnet threads I do wonder where all of these emergency babysitters that people seem to think you can just phone and book like ordering a takeaway are exactly?

I’ve had similar symptoms. Although I have no idea of what you have, I’m my case it ended up being put down to internal angioedema. This was after I had repeat swelling of my face, which usually resolved after 4-6 hours. There was no allergies the allergist could find, so it was defined as idiopatic. Might be worthwhile looking at. I did have medication. And I also took a antihistamine daily for years.

My dh would always come back if needed....that's our plan. I bet he'd come back if one of the kids was rushed into hospital.

Because there is a slight difference between in essence texting, and picking up a 13kg 18 month old into the back of a suv, and same with a 4 year old, bending down getting them changed etc, it’s subtle but it’s there
huge congratulations on pointing out the really fucking obvious with grace while unwell. Like no shit Sherlock, these two things are not the same. I’m sorry your dh is so nasty. They are his children too.

This made me laugh, well said
I hope you feel better soon

This is quite shit! I was going to say that I'm sure he'd want to know - I can't imagine not wanting to know if my partner was in severe pain so I could work out any way I could help, and screw the presentation if it's affected 🙄 I have nothing helpful or practical to say but sorry you're dealing with this on top of an awful medical issue! Hope you get answers soon

It’s not all in your head if your inflammatory markers and calprotectin are raised. Those are indicators of IBD, not IBS - so Crohn’s or colitis. I’m surprised they haven’t done a colonoscopy before going for surgery.

Sorry if I haven’t read through this thread properly but please demand a colonoscopy if you haven’t already. Sounds a lot like IBD (crohns or ulcerative colitis). So sorry to hear what you are going through, just awful xx

It’s not unreasonable! Hope ur ok,
I had all these symptoms, after so many tests etc, I had a colonoscopy and 22 biopsies taken from my bowel, where they found I have collagenous microscopic colitis . It sucks, get him home if you can and get some rest. X