Aibu to ask DH to come home immediately from business trip?

Blimey, I bet the OP hadn't thought of that one! 🙄

Op this sounds awful, I’m so sorry you have no support. I have no advice re the pain but my friend does babysitting through an app, everyone on there is dbs checked and has references and she has a few repeat jobs she does weekly now. I’m just wondering if when you feel better you could get set up on there and have a few trial sessions then you could get on there when you feel a flare up coming on? Really hope you feel better soon, I’d also think about doing something about the husband because him and his parents sound awful. x

It could be SIBO, maybe look into that. There is a subreddit with loads of information.

I know it doesn't help this time but I do some work for a babysitting agency called sitters. It's national and you probably have companies like that near you. I have had very short notice and all sorts of random requests. They match you up with a babysitter based on postcode and you can book online. It might be worth signing up for the future

You say your in laws are awful and your DH is unsupportive. Do you think (and I do not wish to minimise your pain in any way, it sounds unbelievably fucking awful) that your illness could be connected to, or made worse by stress?

I have had endometriosis all of my life and what you describe sounds so familiar. I had awful adhesions also and I was in agony everytime I tried to do any exercise and other things. Lately I seem to get diarrhea with my periods which is apparently common when you have endo. Honestly if I didn’t know it was endo, I would think it was bowel problems.

Really sorry to hear you're struggling, I feel for you… No practical suggestions for your immediate childcare issue, BUT just wanted to chuck another thought into the mix - apologies if you’ve already checked this. My DP was battling with IBS for over 20 years, and it was massively affecting his quality of life, with agonising pain and many other awful side effects… had camera investigations etc, and just kept being told ‘IBS’. Then a friend suggested a food allergy/intolerance test. He did it, via a company online, and apparently has a wheat and rice allergy (with intolerances to a few other things). The difference has been unbelievable, an absolute game changer. His IBS just disappeared. He’s thrilled, whilst slightly sad that he suffered for so many years without anyone medical suggesting that. But I wondered if it would be worth you doing, if only to eliminate it as an issue. Hope you feel better soon, and get to the bottom of it.

I used to get all the same symptoms as you. I've been diagnosed with something called bile salt malabsorption. Have you been tested for that?

Very unhelpful

Ohhellomiss slightly less strenous that handling 2 toddlers.

@Sosomuchpain I am so sorry to hear how much pain and suffering you are going through. The person who mentioned the podcast had a good point. It might be worth listening to. From my late teens up until last year (I am now 37), have been in so much pain all over my body, which in turn affected my depression and IBS, due to the stresses of not knowing and constantly being fobbed off by the NHS, as well as non-understanding employers, friends and even some family. I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia and CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), it also took from the age of 18 until again last year after finally going private, that I have a sliding Hiatus Hernia and that my stomach doesn't close all the way like it should after eating, drinking, etc. All this alongside stress depression and severe IBS and GERD has not been a fun ride. I am unfortunately in Wales or I would be more than happy to help out, as a lot of others on here would too. I'd be lost without my fiancée. The way your DH is acting is by far disgusting. Please take on board what others have said about looking for a babysitter, having a long chat with DH about how he treats you. Also the idea of a food diary and looking at fodmap with a dietician as others have suggested would be a good idea. I am on a low fibre, fodmap diet plan and it has helped my IBS massively. They may also suggest introducing a food back slowly and seeing how you feel after you do, bearing in mind it can take up to 3 days for the food to cause any symptoms (this is what my dietician told me). I am happy to be a listening ear for you if you need to talk or even vent. Just DM if you'd like and I can send you my number. I know what it is like to lose a load of friends when you have such a dibilitating medical issue as they don't know how to act or even understand sometimes. I am sending you lots of Welsh cwtches and I do hope you feel better soon and get the diagnosis you need to help manage your pain. X

@RacingLine
yes though apparently menopause won't sort the adenomyosis. Both my ovaries are 'stuck' which they say can be unstuck by a laparoscopy but indicates that I'm likely to have other adhesions. Sometimes menopause makes it better but sometimes not. Given I'm hopefully near the end I thought I would wait and see except my periods show no sign of slowing down <typical!>
You can often be left with a 'bulky' uterus but menopause usually means the end of adenomysis symptoms for most women. Thankfully, it was for me, fingers crossed it will be the same for you 🤞

Have you re searched inflammatory diseases.
If it feels familiar book a private rheumatologist .
Best money you will ever spend .

Bloody hell! 😱😭

Hi OP hope you are feeling much better.

Have you also been referred into gynaecology? Could be endometriosis

I'm sorry you're suffering with both and that your IBS is worse than your IBD, that's awful.

Just wanted to clarify for others reading this that generally speaking it isn't the case that IBS is worse than IBD. Individuals can of course be affected differently and there's a spectrum of severity for both. However, severe IBD is a terrible disease and at its most severe is life threatening. The treatments for it can also be very brutal and don't work for everyone.

Dietary requirements for both IBS & IBD vary according to the individual and no one should cut out food groups long term without consulting registered dieticians (not nutritionists).

Dietary requirements & limitations can be very complex in people with IBD, the disease can lead to many variables. If there are adhesions at play in whatever is causing the op her problems, then diet becomes even more complex and an approach which is incorrect for her specifically could potentially cause critical and life threatening problems.

@Sosomuchpain by all means avoid foods which are a problem for you but if you are finding that what you eat is causing more pain then you need a referral to dietician.

How are you feeling this morning OP? x

OP the pain clearly isn't 'in your head'. It's real - you have indications of inflammation, mucus build up etc. It doesn't mean it's not real because they haven't found the cause so please don't minimise it or let your husband minimise it either.

If you listen to podcasts, I find this podcast very calming and helpful regarding chronic pain and flare ups - https://audioboom.com/posts/7473110-episode-63-flare-ups-fibromyalgia-migraines-ibs-pelvic-pain-and-more

I hope you can take sickness absence from work when you are having a flare up like this rather than battling through.

Perhaps the prize for the most thoughtless post? 🙄

(1) Have you actually read any of the OP's posts?

(2) Quite how is the OP meant to diagnose herself? If we could all do that we wouldn't need doctors

Sorry you're going through this OP, I had IBS for years and was even hospitalised for several days from it. Alot was stress induced but I also had trigger foods (that I think I'm actually allergic too) and avoiding them has helped. Quorn was one, bananas, bran, thai sticky rice, oats, coffee, alot of ready meals would trigger me, including those pasta salad bars/pots you used to get in supermarkets and supermarket potato salad so wonder if there's a preservative that I couldn't eat. Cooking from scratch really helps.

I couldn't imagine caring for 2 young children whilst having a flair up, I can't believe how horrid your husband and PIL are, do they really care so little about you and the children. 😔

Well he certainly seems to think so, but actually even house staff have a right to time off when they're sick. If he's not a trauma surgeon, paramedic or carer, there's no way he's so important that he can't come back in a situation like this.

You can't count on him, OP, and you're not in it together. Base all future decisions on that knowledge.

I'm sorry you're ill and I hope you get well soon.

Have you had your gall bladder looked at?

I really hope you feel better soon OP.

How long do these episodes usually last for? Sorry if I’ve missed this.

you could ask yoru neighbours?

I have IBS and IBD (the latter being a lifelong chronic illness) and I can assure you that IBS is far more debilitating. I manage it 100% with diet, though, and only get flare ups if I eat gluten or drink caffeine. You need go get on a low FODMAP and caffeine free diet ASAP. Also, just in case it’s IBD, you need to cut out alcohol, raw veg and high fibre fruits.