Aibu to ask DH to come home immediately from business trip?

your symptoms sound the same as mine before they found I had crohns, tramadol and oromorph help with the pain. You need some help with your children so asking for help is a must

It’s Inflammatory Bowel Disease - completely separate from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. IBD (Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis) can be very serious.

Just an FYI... my sister eventually got tested for similar problems after being regularly dismissed for years. They tested for IBS but they also then went on to test for Irritable Bowel Disease... I'd never heard of that but its far more severe. Ask to be checked for that too.

Whereabouts is the pain located? I had debilitating pain and vomiting with gallbladder flare up, but that pain kind of started under the right hand side of ribs and under (between tummy button and bottom of ribs)

Just a thought. Hope you are well soon

Is your condition stress related, if so you need to identify the cause, could it be caring for your young children, either way suggest you get some relief childcare so that you have some free time.

To be clear, I am not a doctor but high calprotecin can sometimes be the result of a bacterial infection or parasites. You may want to consider raising this with a specialist. It could also be a sign of celiac disease. Hope you get better soon.

If your calprotectin is above 120 that’s a sign of IBD (Coeliac or UC) and you will need to see a gastro. Rest, hydrate and take electrolytes if your husband is away but do see a specialist when you can

Have you considered lactose intolerance? I get excruciating pain, nausea and bloating with this. It’s a stealthy intolerance and builds up over time. I cut out lactose (I buy lactose free milk, avoid cheese and yoghurt 😟, and skip the chocolate) and all those symptoms disappeared. It’s woefully under diagnosed but more common than you would think.

I just want to say that if a neighbour I didn't know said they had to go to A and E I would put them in my car and look after the kids. Strangers will often step up in an emergency (although i understand why you don't want to leave kids with strangers but they can help with you there). I'm rubbish at friendship because I can't manage emotions and find replying to much pressure (I have depression). It IS worth asking in a situation like this, people can surprise you.

I'm sorry about your shitty husband and I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

If it’s a social event he should come home instead.

A social event with work colleagues, at a mealtime.

What is a ‘work meal’?

Struggling to understand how any human could actually be this vile

I've not read all of it..... so sorry if this has already been covered....

Have you done food diary/elimination diet/TED? Non-IgE allergies won't show up on anything, yet nil-by-mouth for 48 hours seems to fix you? I'd be tempted to do a total elimination diet at this point, as it could be build up of an allergen setting you off, rather than one off eating? The mucous, I'm sure you're aware is used by your gut to try and protect itself, and very common in allergy poos. You would need to do elimination for a good 6-8 weeks to clear your system, and things could get worse before they get better as your system clears. Every time you have a reaction to an allergen, the reaction can get worse.

Medically, nothing would show up on any tests.

You must sort out your childcare situation. You're saying you're considering emergency Foster care, and that's fine if there's genuinely no alternative, but you have an incredibly debilitating illness. You need a back up plan as you are potentially not safe to look after children this young. I had a really bad migraine/suspected stroke a few years back, and they sent an ambulance basically to look after my 18m and 3½ year old. I said ambulance was OTT and they said no, not with 2 young children. They take this kind of stuff really seriously. Had I needed to go to hospital urgently, one of the paramedics would have stayed to keep the children safe. (My husband was half an hour away at work, on his way home, but they weren't happy about the children.)

I would also expect my husband to understand how serious this was if I was suggesting emergency foster placement. If the roles were reversed, you'd be home ASAP. And emergency childcare is a fully legit reason for leaving work.

Also, the in-laws would help DH? But not you? By helping you, that helping DH and THEIR grandchildren. Would they really not want to help keep the children safe?

Even your friends who have just had babies would likely help in an emergency, I know I would! Admittedly, it would be an 'I'll just keep everyone alive, fed and watered, and if they aren't crying, that's a bonus!' Offer, but most people will help if they know you're desperate.

Best of luck and good luck sorting things out for the future.

You were feeling unwell, you are alone with two small children.

It shouldn’t be difficult to see that you need support and your husband needs to come home.

Part of thinks you’re afraid of ask him to do it because you know that he will say no, and you will finally have to face up to the fact that you are alone with your parenting. Including managing a job, and your parenting all by yourself, even though you were married.

I agree. Depends what consequences with work there will be. A solo mum like me would have no choice but to cope- it might be hard for him to argue. OP have you considered getting a mother’s helper?

I could say exactly the same - and with much more reason!

'You could ask yoru neighbours' = wow, no shit, Sherlock!

OP I really hope your husband has been supportive on his return. Please DM if you have any questions and don’t let yourself be fobbed off by medical professionals until you have been thoroughly investigated. Sending my best wishes and sorry for what you have been going through 💐

thanks so much @DriftingDora
hope you feel better now

Ah, bless you. Symptoms sound very similar to my son, he was finally diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease 6 months ago. Just mentioning in case this hasn't yet been eliminated as a cause for you.

Hope you get some help and feel better soon x

as this was posted on Tuesday 30th, I fully expect the husband returned home, as expected, last night !st May...

Your husband needs to get home- this is potentially very serious.

This is rubbish. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease after years suffering and being fobbed off but medical professionals and my (twatty) partner at the time getting increasingly pissed off with me and my ‘drama’. A few years later it nearly killed me. As far as I know you can’t die from IBS. The medications and treatment they use these days are a completely amazing but to say you can ‘treat’ most cases of IBD (not IBS!) with simple dietary tweaks is nonsense.

High faecal calprotectin levels often indicate inflammatory bowel disease which is more concerning and needs treatment urgently.
one of my children eventually diagnosed with this after GP dismissing it all .
they’ve responded well to the treatment.
It sounds like you don’t have many options?
Babysitter ?
till husband can get home ?

Hire emergency nanny