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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthdays - does no one bother any more?

105 replies

brightyellowflower · 30/04/2024 13:24

Feeling a little upset. It was my 40th birthday last week, and not one of my friends got me a card or a present.

For context, they're wealthier than me and all 4 of them have thrown a party for their 40th's. I have attended all of the parties and taken decent presents beautifully wrapped and obviously a card!

I can't afford to hold a birthday party.

AIBU to think that despite me not having a party, they could have at least bought me a nice card if nothing else? Or do I need to accept that if I want a present, I need to host a party?

They all wished me Happy birthday on social media. Not actually in person.

In total I got 4 cards for my 'big' birthday - one off my husband, one of the kids, one off my brother and one off my uncle. That's it. I know you don't give to receive, but all of their presents were thoughfully bought.

OP posts:
PenguinLove1 · 30/04/2024 13:39

Why dont you message them and ask first they fancy joining you for a meal/couple of drinks one night to celebrate your birthday? If you havent done anything they may think you didnt want to celebrate.

Some people do only do gifts when there is en event to be honest, i have seen that before, but they may be waiting until they see you?

Rustycheeks · 30/04/2024 13:38

My 40th was very similar. Very few people who "should" have cared did and I was lucky to get a FB message off some close family members. Like you, this really upset me. It's really painful to realise you mean so little to certain people.

I think now, unless you make it a big deal yourself then other people just won't bother.

I didn't plan much for mine because I feared nobody else cared enough. Now I wish I had just done more to celebrate the milestone with just my husband and appreciating how much he makes up for everyone else's lack of shits to give. I'm considering re-doing my 40th this year.

Original poster
brightyellowflower · 30/04/2024 13:34

I have seen them, and yes speak regularly. Haven't actually seen in person one of them since it was actually her birthday - was sort of waiting for her to ring the day after to say thank you for coming blah blah and then just been super busy, but thought she would pop round with a card . She olnly lives down the raod!

I feel I can't ask but it does feel like they feel I didn't hava party so they don't need to buy acard.

I did have a lovely daywith the kids and husband . Just feel like I'm being taken for a mug :(

OP posts:
Work2live · 30/04/2024 13:31

I’d be hurt by that!

Have you seen any of them since your birthday? I don’t live really close to my friends so will sometimes give card/gift when I next see them - could that be the case?

I hope you still managed to have a lovely birthday 💐

Howareu · 30/04/2024 13:31

Happy 40th Birthday 💐
For my 50th, I didn’t have a party, but i arranged to meet up with my close friends for a meal.
have you seen/spoken to your friends recently? Was your big birthday mentioned at all?