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Original poster

Am I off my head to think I can work full time with a very young family???

155 replies

watermelonfizz · 30/04/2024 10:18

Sorry if posted in the wrong area

I have a 9 month old and a 2.5 year old and am about to head back to my teaching job at the end of my maternity leave. I’ve been met with outrage off my teacher friends and headteacher about even considering working full time.

I went back full time after my first baby and it was hard but it worked - 2 days nursery & 3 days grandparents - worked very well so I would consider we have solid childcare.

i just feel like I am being met with so much judgement :( people making comments like I’m missing out on so much etc, will never be there for the school runs when they’re older. People questioning can I fully commit to my career and being a parent - Nobody seems to say any of these things to my dh though?

In my head I’ve always just thought it’s swings and roundabouts and you can’t have everything- I get 13 weeks off a year with them and they will always get to be with me in the school hols. My best friend for example, left teaching for a different job with more flexibility to work around school runs etc and says she couldn’t possibly miss the school run. But then she’s scrambelling around for childcare when it’s the school holidays? This doesn’t appeal to me! I’m on a good wage as i worked my way up the pay scale pre children and l can offer my children a lot in terms of experiences, holidays etc. This is how I justify it all in my head anyway

i was happy with my decision but I feel like I’m being judged and people think im a crap mum for working 5 days a week.

I thought I was lucky having good help off grandparents 3 days a week and a good nursery with my toddler loves, school holidays are all sorted because they will be with me, dh could do school drop off/pick up a couple times a week and my parents have already said they will love to help with school runs if we need help. I’ve booked for a cleaner to start a couple of hours a week when I’m back at work to help with the housework a bit. I just feel very judged and that people think I’m a crap mum and I feel so guilt ridden now :(

also with the cost of living and interest rates, the last thing I want to do at the moment is cut my earnings down and feel less secure. Our nursery fees are low as my toddler gets the 15 hours and my baby will get the 15 hours in September

OP posts:
TheBirdintheCave · 30/04/2024 10:26

I worked full time from when my son was nine months old and am just about to go on maternity leave. I'll go back full time again when this one is nine months. No need to feel guilty about it! :)

Runningbird43 · 30/04/2024 10:26

Of course you can. Do people say that to your DH?

tell them your dp has decided to be a SAHD. Watch their heads explode.

you’d think we were past all the women stay at home shit wouldn’t you.

my bro and his wife were both teachers. They used to go travelling for the entire summer holidays, like you say no holiday clubs needed.

I would say holidays off when you can relax and do fun stuff are a much better alternative to the extra hour a day after school, when you’re stressed trying to cook dinner, get housework done and get the kids to bed treadmill.

DolceGustoooohCoffee · 30/04/2024 10:26

I work full time and have two under 6, it's easily doable, especially when you have help which you have more of than most.
I wouldn't care what people think, it's absolutely nothing to do with anyone but you and your DH.

soscarlet · 30/04/2024 10:25

Mothers get judged for working full time, for working part time, and for staying at home with their children. We can’t win.

It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into what will work best for your family, so go ahead with confidence and don’t let other people derail you.

radishpatch · 30/04/2024 10:21

I work full time with small children and it is really hard, but it's absolutely no one else's business. You do you.

Also, no one ever reacts with shock and horror when Dad's go back to work full time when their babies are two weeks old....

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