Parents and DH feud

Leave the prick .

I don't know where to start. So he thinks that anyone who spends money is showing off? That's bizarre in itself.

But this is the post that I most want to quote

It is absolutely tragic that you have squandered the last 20 years you could have had with your parents and instead chose an abusive, petty, cruel arsehole over them.

The regret you are going to live with for the rest of your life will be crushing.

Your poor father just wanted a nice 'big birthday' meal of his choice. But that was enough for your DH to kick off to the point that your parents can't even be mentioned in his presence for FIVE YEARS.

As the parent of adults, I can't begin to imagine how awful the last 20 years have been for your parents. And it's not just the generation above you that are suffering and worrying, it's your son too, who can't be allowed to have the family birthday celebration he wants.

Your husband is simply awful. This is one of the most appalling stories I've read on this site. And it's quite bizarre that you've stayed with him, especially when it seems that you don't have any quality time with him anyway.

Your son deserves better and your parents do. Please dump this man before he ends up return his hands on their money (which he's clearly been ogling for a couple of decades).

I’ve never suggested LTB in all my 15+ years on MN (I don’t comment on the abuse threads). I would have left my DH if he showed such derisory, dismissive, unwarranted, selfish, odious, controlling behaviour towards my parents. Who, incidentally, sound like they’ve been watching their daughter capitulate to her husband for 20 years. I shudder to think what they make of him. And if my DH ever dared drag my son into a dysfunctional relationship with his grandparents because of his own issues - just, no. I wouldn’t stand for it. You’ve let him take something very precious away from you. I wouldn’t be able to forgive that.

As for what you do at this point, after 20 years. Honestly? I’d tell him to stay away from his son’s 18th. I really would. It’s not that big a deal in the scheme of life (obvs it is to your son), and at 18yo I would tell my son why. Your DH is the outlier here, not your parents or son. He’s utterly, completely and unquestionably unreasonable and worse. He’s stolen from you OP. Actually stolen loving relationship.

Your husband is a joyless miser and I
can’t believe you’ve allowed this to
go on so many years.

Team parents here. Terrible behaviour from your DH. And he can't even put his gripes aside for the sake of his son for his birthday?

You and your DH should have decided the type of wedding in discussion with each other, then had that kind of wedding. It's like he's scapegoating your parents when you wanted the posh wedding yourself. But he's not mad at you?

He's out of line expecting your mother to give up work to provide childcare. She's an individual with her own life and career. Not his servant.

Your father's birthday dinner is none of his business, assuming your DH isn't paying for the whole thing.

Your DH really needs to grow up.

It actually makes me so sad. Imagine your daughter getting cut off from you because- shock horror you wanted to celebrate a birthday!

Maybe have a look at the Freedom course. I think it’s called that anyway.

What a chippy little prick he is. Please don’t waste any more of your parents time pandering to this nonsense. Kick him into touch or to the curb.

Your DH sounds like an absolute fucker. What business is it if his how your parents spend their money? They’re in their 70s, what exactly does he think they should be saving it for? Of course they should use their money to treat themselves and their family.

But to tell you and your children they can’t see your parents and put barriers up to seeing them is controlling and unkind. Quite frankly the money sounds like an excuse to isolate you and exert control.

What do you think is going to happen when one of your parents gets ill or dies? Hang on to your friends because you are going to need them.

I'd love for my parents to be in good health and for us all to enjoy meals out, holidays away etc.
What a terrible shame your husband prevents you and your family from enjoying time together. And for no good reason.

Your husband sounds fecking awful. Give it a few more years and your children will be avoiding him because he's so miserable and judgemental.

He really has a pathological inferiority complex and fear of engaging with people “above his station” or with aspirations and interests outside of his narrow world.

@eveningqueen456 Oh sorry!! I thought you said that you had three children????? what a nasty immature (D)husband you have!

What your parents spend their money on is precisely fuck all to do with him.

In fact, he seems to have an awful lot of opinions about what other people do, that are also fuck all to do with him.

The only 'snob' I can identify from everything you've said is your husband. He sounds a horrible, controlling, abusive, judgemental arse.

He's doing an intensive programme of making it impossible for you - and now DS - to have a normal relationship with your parents. How dare he, who the hell does he think he is?!

As for expecting your DM to give up work for his convenience - that's some breathtaking entitlement right there.

He's got a massive chip on his shoulder and he's managed to burden your life with it in the process. If he doesn't want to go to his son's party that's on him. He's a shitbag for putting your son in that position.

He may be an OK guy in some ways, but he is also an Inverted Snob of the first order. In the UK (big dark secret), the inverted snob is actually far nastier and more aggressively tyrannical than the ordinary snob.

What a killjoy your husband is. I couldn't live with someone like that, sucking all the fun out of life.
Awful how he treats/thinks of your parents.

As for your son's 18th - an important milestone in a kid's life - well, I have no words.

He’s an inverse snob with massive insecurities, and he is making you dance to his tune.

What do you see in this controlling, petulant arse?

This.
Please leave him before he gets his hands on any inheritance.

Your poor poor parents. I could never be with someone so devoid of joy & generosity. Stinginess is a very unbecoming trait.

Usually I'm on the opposite side to the parents, mine were abusive and neglectful and many way overstep from reading on here.

You have nothing bad to say about your parents - doesn't that tell you something? They sound great! Your husband doesn't even sound like your partner or friend (much less a reasonable human being).

Your husband sounds like a very difficult and controlling man.

There's nothing about your happiness on this at all. It's all his way.

Good grief.
your poor parents. Please go and spend some time with them.

So basically he’s a stingy, joyless, selfish, vindictive man; he and you have incompatible values; and you’ve stayed married only because you capitulate to all his demands.
Do you feel this is a good life for you?

Jesus Christ.

Leave him.

You do realise you are in an abusive relationship don't you?