Drunk friends

Out of interest, what did Kate think you should have stayed and done? Helped her to physically drag Claire onto the bus? Because in reality had you stayed you'd have just been pointlessly sat there while Claire carried on drinking until she'd had enough and was ready to leave, then possibly had to call a taxi for everyone. Given its not Claires first rodeo, and Kate was with her, I imagine they'd have managed this without you.

No. They were together. You didn't leave a drunk friend alone. They are adults. You were alreafy an hour later than you wanted yo be

You did your best.

As the saying now goes, 'recollections may differ'.

Kate was responsible for her friend Claire. Claire has a drink problem by the sounds of it. I think this should be the focus of Kate's attention.

How old are you all? 30s?

I'd just not reply to Kate and let her think on it.

Claire needs help if she's been fired for turning up drunk to work.

Lesson learnt - leave with the herd. Don't stay with the heavy sessioners.

I'm with you, I have kids at home, I don't expect to have to look after grown adults in my free time too. If she always ends up doing this and your other friend continues to put up with it that doesn't mean you need to.
Adults make their choices and deal with the consequences, not expect other people to.

Kate and Claire are grown women who can get themselves home without being supervised. Their choice to get pissed. If they were sober enough to have conversations about what bus you were going to get and whether to order food and so on, they were capable of sharing a taxi.

I loathe people who can't take their alcohol and then expect everyone else to look after them. I used to have a colleague like this - every time there was any kind of social event after work she would get so staggering drunk by about 8-9pm that she could barely stand up and someone who lived near her would end up having to leave early to accompany her home in a taxi because she wasn't in any state to make her own way. The third time it happened, we ended up taking her mobile phone out of her pocket while she was too pissed to notice and using it to phone her husband to come and collect her because we couldn't deal with her.

I don't think you did anything wrong, they made a decision to drink so heavily, it's not on you to facilitate them. If they wanted you to look after them they should have caught the bus with you.

I would agree if it was teenagers, but grown assed women who should know better and are compos mentis enough to keep ordering drinks and are able to argue the toss about going home as agreed? Not so much! In my much younger days, I would have been the one who wanted to stay out for just one more and would have tried to get friends to stay, but if my two remaining friends said it was time to go home, I would have begrudgingly gone because I'm not a dick and I respect my friends and my promises no matter how drunk I am!

Was I in the wrong?

No

Firstly I need to say I have never abandoned someone in that kind of state, to the point that I've been over an hour and a half later home, when I have responsibilities at home.

But I think it is a very shitty thing for so called friends to do. As grown ass adults they can tell when they are getting drunk, when it's going too far etc. To EXPECT to be able to just continue because 'oh so and so will sort me getting home' is bang out of order. You need to be responsible for yourself and not basically dump it on someone else. Kate brought Claire KNOWING what she is like. Claire should never habe got into that state and expected others to mind her. She was told several times that the OP was going at 10pm, had commitments etc. She kept saying she's coming and then lashing into more drink.

But equally I don't think Kate has a right to expect OP to babysit either. Claire is not the ops responsibility. And by the sounds of it Kate used Claires continued drinking as an excuse to do the same herself with an air of 'oh OP will sort it'. And OP didn't. She looked out for number one.

I have lost count of the times people have done this to me because they know I'd never forgive myself if something happened to them. This past weekend I ended up babysitting a young 20s girl I'd never even met before, a friend of a friend, because said friend ditched her when she got drunk. She isn't from the area and doesn't know people and I couldn't leave her in the state she was in. But I also needed to be home an hour and a half before I was. So I am well pissed and I will bow out early around that friend again so as not to be lumbered with this situation. Which also curtails my enjoyment of the night.

But she wasn't all alone, Kate was with her?

Claire was drunk. Very few drunk people are making sensible decisions. Yes it was bad to get drunk, but you don’t leave a drunk woman and fuck off home. You support and then you can make your feelings clear sgter

I would turn it round on both of them and tell them that they had promised to catch the bus with you and they let you down as you had to go alone. They are the bad friends not you as you were just sticking to the agreed plans!

Nah I'd say they're acting like bad friends for trying to pin this on you. You are not their carer, nor their parent. I they want to get smashed and stay out, crack on, have fun, but you do not need to stay in any situation that you don't want to.

TBH, I wouldn't have stayed until 10.

Firstly you didn’t leave them alone. You left them with each other and secondly they are grown adults. If they are unable to moderate their drinking enough to get themselves home safely then they shouldn’t go out drinking

Not the point of the thread but isn't brunch supposed to be a morning thing? 🤔

YANBU.
She literally did that to herself with the awarness you had to leave.
Any issues that arose from her drunkeness are hers alone.

People can't get paralytic and then play the victim when other get sick of their BS

Hopefully she's learned a lesson.

Sorry I think you’re a shit friend as well. I’ve had situations where someone has got drunk, and as painful as it is. I have never ever abanonded them.

You didn’t even go back in to say you were leaving. Kate thinks leaving a drunk woman like that isn’t ok. Hence why she stayed to help. Alone. Of course she doesn’t think much of you.

but hey at least you were only an hour late and texted.

So why play you don’t know. Kate was landed with her, she did the decent thing and stayed, even though she wanted to leave. Because Claire was both drunk and doesn’t speak much English. You elected to fuck off out of it and leave Kate to it. That’s fine. But don’t expect them to like you for it or thank you for texting from the bus.

Is it a bit of "you left one friend to deal with the really drunk friend"?

This is exactly it. I mean, you shyly both be pissed off at Claire but ultimately you left Kate to the shit job of keeping a friend safe.

Lesson fr next time is to leave at the same time as other people

I guess the issue here is Kate also wanted to leave. But as Claire was drunk she stayed to ensure her safety. You didn’t. You left Kate to it. It is not the case Kate wished to stay. She did so because her friend was drunk and she didn’t want to leave her alone in that condition.

i can see their point.