Do boys stay in touch as adults?

DS ( 29 ) FaceTimes me once a week or so and we message back and forth a couple of times

We see him and his GF maybe 6 or 7 times a year , they work in London we live about 4 hours away

I have 3 DBs, all keep on contact with each other regularly & with our DP. Live in different cities but do facetime calls every week & meet up to go to gigs, camping etc. Early 40s - mid 50s.
They speak more often that I do to DSis tbh.

I have a DD who is my eldest DC and 2 DS's. I see my younger son at least 2-3 times a week. He always comes over for dinner on Wednesday because that is lasagne night. He takes some home with him for lunch at work the next day too. Most weeks he takes me out for breakfast. Either I will pop over for a coffee with him and to play with his cats or he will come to see DH and me. He only lives 3 miles away. He only moved out last year. My elder DS lives 150 miles away but DH and I go to see him about once every 2 months. He lives 30 miles away from MiL so we see both at once. He comes to see me about 3 times a year. I see both sons more than my DD. She lives 180 miles away and comes to visit me 3 times a year staying over a weekend. I go to see her and DGS's 3 or 4 times a year. I have really good relationships with all 3 of my DC and get along well with SiL and DS's gf's too. We message each other all the time. Younger DS goes out occasionally with his step dad to a cinema or a curry and stepdad is often over at my younger son's house doing DIY for him.

As you may have gathered from responses, it all depends and mainly, it's what you make of it.
My DH saw his parents regularly, weekly, but I think they would say they had very little idea of his life even though he lived less than 15miles from them. I always had the idea that they thought we were rather dull.
My BiL calls their mum frequently but sporadically. I think she'd say she has a good idea of his frame of mind.
In general, it's what you make of it: if you build a close relationship with your sons and make their WAGs welcome, you and they will keep in touch. I know plenty of women with sons who have easily achieved this.

I know from my own family that the relationship between the mother and her sons’ female partners is often key. Wise mothers will be very, very careful not to fall out with, criticise, offer unsolicited advice to or in anyway undermine the position of their DILs. Those who are unwise enough to do any of those things invariably pay the price.

My son aged 33 is the light of my life as are his children. I see him a lot though I always ask if it is ok to drop round! He is kind, sensitive and a brilliant father. I’m so proud of him. He is also domesticated and takes an equal part both with child care and housework with his wife.

Why? Does that somehow mean they can’t call their family?

time and time again you see women on here not wanting a boy because they’ll have nothing in common. The boy will play football and not like clothes and shopping, so they won’t do anything together.

imo it’s self fulfilling. If you assume right from the get go you and your boy will be so different, and never make an attempt to find common interests, of course once they’re adults they’ll drift away.

i have an acquaintance who split her family on gender lines. Boy went to football with dad, girl went to dance and shopping with mum. She now thinks it’s some sort of natural thing where boys don’t keep in touch, girls do, when it’s because she never spent any time with the boy growing up.

edit- the poster quoted edited so this makes less sense!

Yes ive got a son in his late twenties
We get on OK and good too at times,
we keep in often

We have had our issues still work in progress so to speak,

My husband texts his mum weekly and they have group family chats.
His dad is deceased but him and his mum were divorced.
He hardly ever makes the effort to go and see her.
I've had friction with her in the past but on the whole we get along ok now for the sake of me just biting my tongue mostly. I personally think he should make more of an effort but he's just not that bothered.

DS is 24 and calls me 5-10 times a week! We exchange lots of messages too.

He lives 50 miles away so I probably see him once every couple of months. I see my DD27 the same amount, and message the same, but she and I probably only talk on the phone once a week.

So stop worrying!!

I think it would be helpful to ask if these adult sons are married, or have children.
It’s very mixed in my own family, some do some don’t, but there is a clear link between extent of contact as an adult and their relationship with parents growing up.

I could go weeks without hearing from my DS in his 20s because he was out enjoying himself. That was fine - I quite understood because, even though I am a DD, I had been the same with my parents when I was in my 20s. Now my DS is in his 30s with his first child I hear from him every few days and see him once a month even though he lives more than 3 hours drive away. I hear from his wife at least once a week too. (I should say I have tried hard to be the perfect MIL, although it has not been difficult as she is a really great DIL.)
I think the important thing is that you have a good relationship as they are growing up, and make it clear that you are always there for your children - of either sex - if they need you.

Dh calls his parents when he wants something. Db calls out parents for birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

My younger son isn’t an adult yet but my dd, 33 we rarely hear from. Flying visit every now and then.

My DH keeps in close contact with his mum. On the phone several times a week and popping round for visits. She's widowed and his brother moved away so he does make a point of keeping in touch, but I think he would have anyway.

Husband and brothers v close to parents. My brother v close to my parents. First son at uni keeps in touch a lot. Second son at home, after a spell of teenage grumpiness, spends a lot of time with us.

We’ve got a family what’s app all adult children 2 x DS 1 xDD in with 2 still at home and us
there is general chit chat from someone everyday where most of us chip in
but 1 to 1 contact varies child to child parent to parent. Mine often ring me for practical advice, use their dad for more chatty stuff
it also comes and goes - sometimes you hear from one a lot for a while then not so much
also they will sometimes complain we aren’t in touch with them as much as we should be!
i love the fact all the siblings get on most of all
theres no magic formula part of them becoming adults is to separate from you
I find making sure I make amazing meals and give them a really comfortable bed and fun when they do visit makes them want to visit more !

My DH is 46. He sees his mum once a week and calls/messages her once or twice too. My brother (engaged, living with his girlfriend) speaks with/messages our parents every other day and sees them once a week too. It’s only a sample of 2 but they are very different people with very different backgrounds (culturally as well as class) so looks like the odds of them staying in touch are pretty good!

Dh calls his mum and keeps in touch with her but we relocated so only really physically see her when we visit or she visits (2-3 times a year).

If your kids decided the same you'd be best supporting them. Children are meant to spread their wings. My kids are only 5 and 2 but if they wanted to live In Australia when they're older or whatever I'd do whatever I could to help.

My four live in the nearest city to us, and we probably see them every month, either we go up to them, or they come here and stay the weekend.

We speak to them most weeks.

I think my MIL thinks I'm one of those 'bitches' who took her son away.

Two sides to every story - she hasn't been very nice to either DH or myself since we got together, hence we have drifted away. She also expects to be the no 1 woman in his life (she's divorced from his dad btw) and even expected him to leave me in hospital having a miscarriage to go and visit her.

So yes, some of it does depend on your relationship with your DIL, but it's not always the DIL at fault, and that is something to be mindful of.

Sure I exchange texts with mine every day! At the moment he's on his way home from kickboxing!
He's only 20 but he moved out just before he was 18.

Yes, very much so, despite geographical distance. DS1 has just been keeping me entertained via WhatsApp while I've sat through a travel delay. Don't worry, they won't change personality at 18. You'll continue whatever dynamic you have, just with greater maturity.

I have two sons, 21 and 18 away at uni. We FaceTime once a week, they rarely make contact in between but I think that's ok.
We have a great time when they're home, lots of contact and holidays.
DH phones his parents once a week. SIL has always been their favourite on every level, even receiving house deposits and wedding payments whilst DH got nothing for either, so that's hard to forget and the contact is more forced and duty bound.

My son and I communicate in some way on a daily basis.

My experience tells me boys are more homebodies than girls, but, obviously, this is not the same across the board.