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Original poster

Inheritance

86 replies

nameshame24 · 29/04/2024 11:45

Another inheritance post but I’m just looking for some outsiders opinions and advice.

Background, my Mum and Dad split when I was 18 months old. When I was 3 my Dad remarried my now step Mum and had 2 more children my brother is 3 years younger than me and sister is 4 years younger than me.
My Dad had a very successful business which was originally his parents and they passed it down to him and my aunt was a silent partner.
My step mum worked part-time in a school and earned minimum wage her salary was her ‘allowance’ to spend whatever she wanted. My Dad paid the bills and mortgage etc.
My step Mum’s Mum died and left her money, with that money she renovated the house.
When my Grandma died (Dad’s Mum) which as a side note I was very close to growing up as she looked after me a lot. He used the money she left him to buy a house and rent it out, the money from the rent goes straight to my Step Mum and now that is her ‘allowance’ and she retired early.
Growing up my Dad has always been very open with me and said that when he dies the money will go to Step Mum (if she is still alive) and then when she dies it will be cut evenly 3 ways.
I have found out recently from my aunt that this is actually not the case. I will be getting 1/5 of their house and my siblings 2/5s. My Aunty has expressed that she has been told by my Step Mum that their rental home is soley in my step mums name. And therefore could be going 2 ways between my brother and sister. Or if not could be getting split the same way their permanent home is.
I spoke to my Dad briefly about it yday to ask exactly what will happen as I have been told one thing but actually another thing is happening and therefore I’ve been lied to, I’d like to know 100% now what is happening so that I don’t have to find out when he’s dead and things haven’t been explained. He said to me yday that the way it is now isn’t fair (on me) but not to worry because she will die first and then he will change the will!!!!! I told him it was ridiculous and then I ask him to be honest with me about it all then he said he wasn’t 100% sure himself how things will be split. I asked him who the executors of his will are and he said it was both my brother and sister. This has hurt me weirdly more than being lied to.
It might not sound like it but it’s not actually about the money for me, it’s about not being treated fairly and I never have been by that side of my family. There is a lot of history and a lot of times I have been treated very unfairly. But I would happily give all of my share to charity as long as I know I have been treated fairly by him I feel I can get on happily with my life. But right now I feel like I’ve been yet again kept in the dark and am being treated differently. I’m in my early 30s now.
I would like to ask to see the will so that I can know exactly how it’s been divide now so that if I need to I can ask my Dad questions about it and get answers. Would I be unreasonable to do this?
Would I also be unreasonable to suggest I am also made an executor? I have looked into it and you can have up to 4 executors. I really hope I’m not coming across as some sort of gold digger here. Genuinely I would give my share to charity I just want things to be fair.

OP posts:
Namechange3828 · 29/04/2024 12:10

Personally. I think when your dad dies you should get a sixth of everything (a third of his half) and then the rest is hers to pass onto her children when she dies.

You're entitled to a third of your dad's share. They're entitled to a third of their dad's share and a half of their mums share each.

Lifestooshort71 · 29/04/2024 12:05

CelesteCunningham · 29/04/2024 12:00

That was my maths too. I think it's fair enough that you don't inherit from your SM's "half", assuming she has a step mother rather than motherly relationship with you.

Show quote history

Yes, that looks fair to me as well. My GS, raised by his single mother, won't get a penny piece when his Dad dies as it will all go to his wife and 2 younger children. He doesn't expect anything either.

useitorlose · 29/04/2024 12:01

How old is your dad? I'm in my 50s and still have both parents. What I might or might not inherit in several decades isn't my business.

CelesteCunningham · 29/04/2024 12:00

elevens24 · 29/04/2024 11:58

I think the breakdown is probably correct.

Dad and step mum have 50:50

Sm gives her 2 dc 25% each
Dad splits his 3 ways so about 16% each

You get 16% and your step siblings get about 41%

What inheritance will you get from your mum?

That was my maths too. I think it's fair enough that you don't inherit from your SM's "half", assuming she has a step mother rather than motherly relationship with you.

Isitisit · 29/04/2024 11:59

Is it because they think you will inherit from your mum?

On a lot of posts about how to divide inheritance in step families people talk about leaving a half share for step children because they are inheriting from one parent (I.e) your dad whereas the other children are inheriting from two (ie step mum and dads children). If they are following that rule then you would only get 1/5.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be an executor though.

elevens24 · 29/04/2024 11:58

I think the breakdown is probably correct.

Dad and step mum have 50:50

Sm gives her 2 dc 25% each
Dad splits his 3 ways so about 16% each

You get 16% and your step siblings get about 41%

What inheritance will you get from your mum?

Anameisaname · 29/04/2024 11:57

I think you need to sit down with Dad and tell him how you feel. Tell him what you said here ie it's not the money but the sense that you are not being treated equitably. That there's no guarantee who will die first and if he wants to split things in a specific way then he needs to make arrangements accordingly.

On the executor I'd drop that ... not that relevant really as executors have to act in accordance with the will.

tealandteal · 29/04/2024 11:57

Unfortunately if he dies first he has no say in how she writes her will. If he does pass away first and leave it all to your step mum, she could leave everything to her children and nothing to you. You being executor would not change that.

fashionqueen1183 · 29/04/2024 11:54

Can’t he make it so money goes to you without both of them needing to die?
he can’t say who will go first!

sesquipedalian · 29/04/2024 11:53

You could ask your father to add you as an executor, but it won’t make any difference unless he changes the terms of the will. It seems unfair to me - my DH and I wrote our will leaving everything equally between all our children, and we have spoken to them all and said this is what we want to happen so that if/when one of us dies first, the other is duty-bound (if not legally bound) to honour it. I don’t understand your father - ask him why he didn’t fight your corner - and if your DSM has brought you up since you were three, I would have thought she too would have more concern for you.

Hadalifeonce · 29/04/2024 11:52

I do feel your hurt. You can ask to see his will, obviously he doesn't have to show it to you, likewise you can ask to be an executrix, also, he doesn't have to add you.
There will be those who come along to tell you you have a right to nothing, which again is true, but doesn't help your feelings of unfairness.
I really can't help you, but can offer you some sympathy in trying to find out what his actual intentions are before he dies. Which may not happen.

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