To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

I personally don't care if a purple creature from Mars married my elderly neighbour as long as they were happy.
But if it was one of my dc I would be more concerned over culture clashes and potential gc being 'taken over' by inlaws / family with strong beliefs.
Again if dc was happy that would be good enough for me, but I'd always keep the door open for dc whoever they married or lived with.

So if man looked as you described and he was with white woman in say shorts and a t-shirt (clearly Western type of clothes) l would be very surprised as they clearly looked like people with different values (one very religious and the other not religious at all)
If it’s not your scenario how this woman is dressed? Because it makes the whole world of difference.

This.

But she can marry a white man who is a muslim. Which I have done and unless we are sat in a mosque people are quick to assume he isn’t muslim especially since the advent of hipster beards!

I wouldn't know a man was Muslim by looking unless e dressed very traditionally.

My attitude would be dependent on his attitude. Two white friends of mine are married to Muslim men, both happily so but neither have converted to Islam and neither man seems particularly religious. That said, one friend's husband locked her in a bedroom once when he didn't want her to go out with friends, and she escaped down the drainpipe. I was horrified. She thought it was an adventure. The other friend is married to a man who is lovely - dotes on his child, doesn't have any of the issues with women being independent that would be warning signs to me.

I think rightly or wrongly people see the woman in this scenario as having thrown her freedom away.

My daughter is a white British woman married to a Palestinian/Jordanian. There is absolutely no way you could tell that he is a Muslim by his appearance - he is very fair skinned for someone from the Middle East and speaks English far better than most people I know, with very little accent. They have recently moved back to live with us in the UK for various reasons, mostly work related, but also because of the extreme racism they experienced living in Turkey for the last two years.

My daughter dresses very conservatively and wears a hijab that covers every bit of her hair, and wears no make up or adornment apart from her wedding ring but she doesn't cover her face. They have only been back here for a couple of months but my daughter has already had some quite unpleasant experiences and encounters in shops and markets, and while travelling to work. We live in a very multicultural part of south London and I'm surprised by how much negativity is shown towards her.

I know it’s a typo but v interested re these Romans!

I didn’t say that, I said I wouldn’t necessarily notice because I wouldn’t be thinking about “oh he’s wearing Muslim dress etc” Obviously some people wear traditional dress etc and others don’t, so that also depends even if you were looking around at others’ clothes.

I would find a man in traditional dress, beard and cap with a woman in western dress with no hair covering quite odd tbh. It’s nothing to do with Islam - I’d find any couple with mismatched “lifestyles” indicated by their dress to be striking.

I've never seen someone wearing a cassock outside of a church service and never seen someone wearing a hijab in the UK (and that's women isn't it?) I thought turbans were traditional national dress (Turks and Indians) - didn't realise it was religious.

That’s what a male friend of mine did too! Just said, oh yes I’m converting etc. Didn’t change a single thing in his life. His wife (my friend too) isn’t really religious though.

All the "how could I ever possibly know that someone was a Muslim?!" posters have never actually been outside right?

Because of where I work, I’m aware of lots of couples like this and the male is married. Telling her that he wants to be with her, it was an arranged marriage etc, and I feel so sorry for both women.
I know a woman who had gone through IVF with her DH, got pregnant by the lover, then had an abortion. It was so sad.

If someone came to me asking advice about what to do if they were either the man or the woman in this scenario, then I might ask some questions about the other person, work out if they seemed a good person with the right intentions, would the respect the other etc. But that’s different to seeing people in the street.

My white non-practicing Christian dad married a Muslim woman. He was told he had to convert. He said he had, to keep her family happy, but did not. TBH, the way she treated him and then ran off once she had her visa (only coming back to hoover up all his money once he’d died) she was not really bothered about his religious leanings as much as she was about her gravy train ticket.

I think, with her insistence that a Muslim woman wouldn’t marry a non Muslim would she the OP is projecting her own prejudices on a slightly goady thread. Most people on MN would not look twice at a couple where the man and woman are visibly from different ethnic backgrounds (and let’s face it, there are enough white Muslims and brown Christians around that she is clearly asking about couples who look different, not couples where the man and woman are from different religions.)

Over on the other thread, people are concerned about a young woman taking part in a ceremony that will change her legal status in a culture and country she is not familiar with not because it is what she wants, but because it is what her fiancé wants in order to placate his family. It does not matter what culture or colour the man is, there are certain situations in a relationship which raise red flags, and this is one of them.

I have muslim male work colleagues and none of them are as you describe - they just wear ordinary clothes, some might be clean shaven, some bearded, just like any other men. I have seen people wearing prayer caps in London but assumed they were Jewish?

many religions have clothing particular to that faith e.g.

Christian - cassocks
Sikh - turban
Hijab - muslim

Sure, you can't tell 100% (before anyone leaps on me), but it would be a fair assumption that if saw a man wearing a turban, he was a Sikh. Obviously not all people of faith follow dress codes.

I don’t think anything. I probably wouldn’t notice unless they had a placard announcing it.

Well sometimes you can tell someone is Muslim by dress or by beard- but not always.

If I'm honest If I notice, and probably would only notice in a cafe or a train where I can people watch! I may wonder about if she is treated equally, if she has to compromise, if he respects her values.

For example a friend ( white british) married a Muslim when they were young and he wasn't a strict Muslim- drunk alcohol went clubbing dated white British girl etc.
However after marriage and when they had kids it all changed and he became fundamental so their daughter not allowed to climb on climbing frame in park or dance or swim.
Kids aren't allowed Xmas presents.
She converted to Islam when they married but compromise is all one way- however they've been married for over 20 years. He is committed to his family.

If I'm completely honest - I wouldn't be keen on my daughter marrying into Islam as all our British values, traditions, and equality between the sexes could be disregarded

And equally a lot of Muslims wouldn't want to marry a British white girl- although of course they may have casual relationships with them without wanting to commit to the future.
Which to be fair my friends partner did go against the grain and marry her despite HIS family disapproval.

I think the one preconceived thought I might have is that there's a chance they would have had to overcome barriers and prejudice to be together, and that they must be a strong couple to survive that. Of course everyone's situation is different and I'm sure plenty such couples have faced nothing of the kind, so I wouldn't assume that was the case, but it would cross my mind that it might be if that makes sense.

You haven’t been clear at all. You haven’t even answered whether or not you are Muslim yourself.

I do have 2 family member with 'inter religious' marriages. Neither converted, they aren't to Muslims though so I don't know. If a relative was marrying a Muslim and was converting I would be interested and possibly a little concerned

A relative of mine is dating a Turkish Muslim at the moment. He's fairly relaxed and almost chooses which bits of the religion to observe (he does fast and doesn't celebrate Christmas etc). Her mum is pretty relaxed about who she dates but she's said a few things that makes the bf sound controlling. He's said if they get married (he's dead keen despite only having been dating a few months) then she must take his surname (she's not keen). Any child they have (he's not keen to be a father but she doesn't want to rule kids out) will have a Muslim name and will follow the Muslim faith.

He treats her very well otherwise and spoils her, but hopefully she'll weigh everything up and think carefully before taking her relationship to the next level.

Ok, so let's grant for the sake of argument that the traditional clothing lets someone infer that the man is Muslim. How would I know that you are not Muslim, just by looking at you?

People probably look because dress wise it can be a stark combination to see someone dressed in traditional Arab clothing in a relationship with someone dressed in jeans and a t shirt. Around my area there's loads of British Muslim couples where the women dress in beautiful colourful fancy looking traditional clothes and man is dressed in black trackie bottoms and hoodie. It does catch the eye. The only thing I think is, couldn't he make more of an effort? But that's just because I don't like the tracksuit look..