To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

I know loads of Muslim men who don't have beards!

Yes, beards are the norm amongst a certain section of very conservative Muslims, but there are many, many Muslim men who don't look like this. Surely you realise this?!

Is this how you understand haram? I got it from Wikipedia - it’s considered haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. This is due to the idea that the man is the head of the household, the one who supports the family, and the man is considered responsible for his wife.

If this is true then I would say stay away from any man or woman who actually believes this stuff. There is obviously a difference between people who really believe and people who are born into a religion but later realise its teachings are outdated and misogynistic (much like I did with Catholicism, my disdain for organised religion is not limited to Islam).

So I would date a Muslim (insert other religion as appropriate) who was so because his parents were, but not if he were practising.

I would register any significant age disparity.

Then don’t read it.

A muslim man from Turkey, or Bosnia, or Malaysia, or Xinjiang isn't going to look anything like that. They aren't going to be wearing those clothes, even if they are dressed traditionally, and they will likely be clean shaven.

It seems that you are confusing national and ethnic origins and traditions with religion.

I commented on the thread you reference. My issue wasn’t his religion but the fact that her H to be was lying to his family for an easier life. Would you be so willing to marry a man who ‘goes along’ with stuff just because he won’t say no to his parents? The likelihood is this behaviour is probably a pattern and not an exception.

A non Muslim woman being in a relationship with a Muslim man, I don’t care. Being in a relationship (like the one the OP is in the other thread) with someone who I don’t believe is being honest with himself, let alone with his family and wife to be, I would judge.

This, to a degree. If I recognised a man as Muslim by his dress, I might be inclined to think that he observes his religion seriously and that he would therefore expect his wife to do also. Therefore, I might be surprised by her non-Muslim dress. However, I have little knowledge of 'Muslim appearance' and plenty other stuff to occupy my brain so I really wouldn't spend long thinking about it. I admire many people who dress differently to myself.

So how does a Pakistani man look different to a Pakistani Christian?

My DH is Indian. He is not Muslim, but many Indians are. Unless there are clear cultural markers around dress etc, I can't possibly tell the difference from appearance alone between Indian men who happen to be Muslim and Indian men who are Hindu/Sikh/something else.

Come to that, it's often very hard to tell from appearance alone whether people are Indian or Pakistani. Hardly surprising given that they often share the same ethnic routes. When we lived overseas, we found that Pakistani people often assumed that my Punjabi DH was Pakistani until he told them otherwise. So if they can't tell the difference themselves, I struggle to see how you can.

Nothing in particular, if I even noticed. How do you tell a man is Muslim just by looking? He's unlikely to look any different from any other bloke.

Well obviously Muslim men don't wear a scarf and plenty of non muslim men have a beard and moustache. I know someone who wears a Star of David necklace but she isn't Jewish, she just likes it. Apparently some Shia Muslims wear a turban, Tuaregs wear a type of turban which combines a veil, they are generally Muslim. Afghan men often wear a turban. I'm sure there are others. Some Christians wear a cross, many don't and some prefer a crucifix. Probably some non Christians wear a cross as a piece of jewellery they like.

You seem to rely on stereotypes.

@Weallknowfrogsgo We can recognise a Muslim woman from her headscarf but you’re asking about Muslim men - whom are near impossible to identify by appearance. Your question seems to be “what do you think of white women with brown men” and have nothing to do with religion.

I was thinking I'd congratulate myself on being able to tell someone's religion by just looking at them.

This was my first question as well. Sometimes you can tell if a woman is Muslim but I don't have any experience with just looking at a man and guessing that he's Muslim. Maybe the way he's dressed?

Also why a white woman in a Muslim man? Would a black woman in a Muslim man not cause any consternation among people that are bothered by that sort of thing?

Regardless I have literally no thought in my head about it. I would notice if one or both of them was particularly attractive. Or if they had an interesting hairstyle or they were wearing clothing that I liked but a couple being together no it wouldn't cross my mind to have any thought about it.

Haven’t read anything more than your initial post but…
what does a Muslim man look like??????

well you want an honest answer so here goes-

I'd feel sorry for her, hope she isn't going to be abused and controlled by her husband. I also frankly think she's stupid, Islam is not a religion that is friendly towards women. There are SO MANY women who realize far too late how abusive their husbands are and that they're trapped.

Being trapped is a best case scenario, physical abuse and the threat of taking their children to live in a foreign country where mother has zero rights and may never see her babies again is a very real fear.

I worked w/a woman who married a muslim man, she was definitely trapped in the marriage. She said many nights he kept her awake all night as he ranted about Islam and western culture yet he happily came to america to make a nice living and enjoyed all the good parts of the culture while secretly hating it. That's a nonsensical way to live so of course he was conflicted and took it out on his beautiful wife.

It's not a smart risk to take imho.

I am a white woman (non Muslim) married to a Muslim Turkish man but I don't think people would necessarily know he was Muslim just from looking at him.
If we meet people they are usually just interested in where he comes from and he is always happy to tell them.
We live in London though so most people take no notice of this kind of thing.

tbh if I saw an ‘obviously’ muslim man like how you’ve described, in what appears to be a romantic relationship with a white western woman, I would probably assume you had converted, even if not dressing the part. If he outwardly appeared to be a traditional, practicing muslim then it would be strange to me if you weren’t, as normally someone making sure to dress ‘devout’ would want a practicing (as i thought this is required) muslim spouse. I’m generalising though, and don’t live in a multicultural area, so this may differ in real life. But in my experience, devout practicing muslim men normally require their partners to convert before marriage/dating. I wouldn’t especially care, but would probably hope you’ve converted out of your own faith views, and not just to appease the guy or his family.

This is the same within other religions though. I grew up in a fairly closed/christian community and this was also the expectation, though you can’t tell automatically from the men’s outward clothing.

@Weallknowfrogsgo but what do you class as visibly Muslim? People in religious get up? I think no more of them than I do of people in smart clothing going to church. You say you’re Muslim but you seem to be wanting everyone to stereotype.

This thread is really interesting for me to read as an American who lives in an area where most Muslims are from Somalia. Around here, people don’t assume that Arab/Middle Eastern equals Muslim, because there are a lot of Middle Eastern Christians in the area. My husband’s heritage is part Lebanese, and his family is completely Christian and has been since time immemorial.

I don’t have the best impression of the Somali Muslim families around here. They put their daughters in hijabs while they’re still wearing diapers/nappies. On sweltering hot days, I’ll see families out walking and the women and girls have only their hands and faces visible, while the men and boys are wearing t-shirts and shorts. Every once in a while I’ll see a white American woman dressed like this and think, “you’ve got to be kidding me.” I don’t know why you’d decide to cover more skin than the Amish if you weren’t raised that way.

So if I saw a white woman in a romantic relationship with one of the Muslim men around here, I’d be concerned. Somalia has a very high rate of FGM and there have been a couple dozen Somalis around here convicted of terrorism-related charges. If I were in the UK, I’d be less concerned because you seem to have a bigger range of assimilated Muslims over there.

This is old old history ,There is ''multiculturalism'' now - for about 40+ years -
unless you live in a very remote place (or under a rock).

It's none of my business and I probably wouldn't think anything if we passed on the street, but thinking generally, I'm not sure it's the best foundation for a marriage if a couple have markedly different religious/spiritual beliefs and religion is very central to one or both of them.
I am delighted to hear of people who have had long and happy marriages despite significant faith differences, though.