Page 3 | To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

Weallknowfrogsgo · 2024-04-29T07:12:12+00:00

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think? as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest. after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

Springchickenonion · 29/04/2024 21:04

@Weallknowfrogsgo I can assure you I'm not a gullible idiot. and my daughters aren't treated as second class citizens by any of our family. What a strange thing to assume!

Mercural · 29/04/2024 21:02

My white thoroughly British wife has been married to me, a muslim, for 40 + years. If you are both genuinely happy, ignore the ignorant and hateful people.

They would probably say something similar for any interracial marriage.

Original poster

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 20:59

ViaMargutta · 29/04/2024 20:04

What do I think if a see a white European woman wearing hijab, etc? Disdain. I think she's a gullible idiot with a low self esteem. If I see her with a little girl in tow, also covered up head to to? I feel anger. And I'm very sorry for the poor child. No little girl deserves this. Being indoctrinated from birth and treated as a second class citizen by her own family.

Obviously I disagree but at least you’ve been honest

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Original poster

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 20:58

TheIranianYoghurtIsNotTheIssueHere · 29/04/2024 20:19

So only muslims can be called Ibrahim? And only non-muslims can be Polly? Okaaaaaay.

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Of course not but painting with a very broad brush they are typically Muslim and non Muslim names,

of course there’s Arab Christians called ibraheem and maybe a revert called polly

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TheIranianYoghurtIsNotTheIssueHere · 29/04/2024 20:19

OneTC · 29/04/2024 16:50

The OP does specify when meeting new people. Maybe the giveaway was when they were introduced as Ibrahim and Polly

So only muslims can be called Ibrahim? And only non-muslims can be Polly? Okaaaaaay.

TheIranianYoghurtIsNotTheIssueHere · 29/04/2024 20:18

How would you be able to tell?!

ViaMargutta · 29/04/2024 20:04

What do I think if a see a white European woman wearing hijab, etc? Disdain. I think she's a gullible idiot with a low self esteem. If I see her with a little girl in tow, also covered up head to to? I feel anger. And I'm very sorry for the poor child. No little girl deserves this. Being indoctrinated from birth and treated as a second class citizen by her own family.

ThisNoisyTealLurker · 29/04/2024 19:32

Nothing...not my business to pass judgement on a couple in the street!

PonyPatter44 · 29/04/2024 19:26

Honestly I think, there's a white woman and a Muslim man. What sort of question is this?

Alpacasmum · 29/04/2024 19:21

Well that is racist for a start.

Genevieva · 29/04/2024 18:32

Although imams carry out weddings, marriage is a civil institution in Islam. This is why non-Muslim women can have a nikkah and why divorce is permitted.

By contrast marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church and has sacramental qualities in Protestantism. You have to be baptised to be married in church. Consequently, an interfaith marriage cannot happen in a church.

I do know a woman from a Muslim family who had a church wedding in her husband’s parish church, but she converted to enable it to happen. Her father is very open minded and said he is happy as long as she believes in God and that both Christianity and Islam worship the same God. However, while immediate family attended the wedding, they did not tell extended family that it was a Christian ceremony. So, it does happen, but it is rare.

Iwasafool · 29/04/2024 18:24

My husband is brown with a white beard and sometimes no moustache. He has had abuse for being Muslim, he's Roman Catholic. I dislike the idea of putting these labels on people because they are frequently wrong.

Iwasafool · 29/04/2024 18:20

BusyMummy001 · 29/04/2024 16:39

Think the Tates are also muslim, so can add wearing overly tight, ridiculously expensive suits whilst brandishing cigars to the list

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I didn't know that although I don't know much about them and what I do know isn't good.

Original poster

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 17:22

Medschoolmum · 29/04/2024 16:46

OK. I misunderstood your point then, as you seemed to be implying that it was possible to tell if someone was Muslim simply by looking at them. What you actually seem to be saying is that some Muslim men are recogniseable as such because of certain cultural markers. I don't suppose that many people would disagree with this.

And yes, there is a lot of islamophobia on MN, as well as a lot of racism and a lot of very ethnocentric advice. That's nothing new, unfortunately, but you won't find many people openly acknowledging that they are prejudiced against mixed relationships - the ones who are probably just ignore threads like this. MN is not one unified voice!

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Yes that’s what I meant in addition to when you meet a couple who have traditionalist Muslim name (Abdullah say) and typically non Muslim name, Emily say

(disclaimer to say I know new Muslims don’t have to change their name so there’s a lot of Muslims with typically ‘non Muslim names’ and you can call a child any name with a good meaning it doesn’t have to be an Arabic name)

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NestaArcheron · 29/04/2024 17:01

I wouldn't even notice tbh

stargirly · 29/04/2024 16:59

i don’t think I’d be able to tell what someone’s religion is by looking at them - in terms of race, it’s not something i really pay attention to when i see couples so i wouldn’t think anything in particular

Applescruffle · 29/04/2024 16:57

OneTC · 29/04/2024 16:47

I don't know if people are being sincere but maybe the OP didn't mean just getting a fleeting glance of a random brown bloke and a white woman.

What do you think when you KNOW a Muslim man is going out with a western, not obviously Muslim, woman as per say, East is East.

They're your neighbour, someone you know to say hello to and know a bit about but not your mate, that kind of thing. They are not 3 miles away and obscured by a bush

In that case I suppose I would felt quite nosy about how it works for them. Not judgey, but nosy and interested.
But then I am a nosy person 🤷‍♀️
I would never be rude enough to ask.

DanielGault · 29/04/2024 16:56

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 15:31

I do disagree that Muslim men are impossible to recognise by appearance but perhaps that’s due to my marriage. But you could visually recognise my husband as a Pakistani man. I meant men who are visibly recognisable as Muslim, so beard and trimmed moustache, prayer cap, thobe or salwar kameez for instance.

my comment relate to religion in light of what I’ve read in here lately

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There is no way on earth I could recognise someone as a Pakistani man. What a stupid thing to say. Does he have a flag on his forehead or something?

Applescruffle · 29/04/2024 16:55

As I understand it, a Muslim woman can not marry a non-muslim man, but the rules are less strict the other way. A muslim man can marry a non-muslim woman, as long as she is a woman "of the book" IE: she is a Christian or she is Jewish. Do correct me if I am wrong.

Therefore I doubt I'd think anything of it unless she was very skimpily dressed I suppose, then I might ponder if that is an issue, if I was around this couple long enough to not immediately forget about them.

OneTC · 29/04/2024 16:50

The OP does specify when meeting new people. Maybe the giveaway was when they were introduced as Ibrahim and Polly

OneTC · 29/04/2024 16:47

I don't know if people are being sincere but maybe the OP didn't mean just getting a fleeting glance of a random brown bloke and a white woman.

What do you think when you KNOW a Muslim man is going out with a western, not obviously Muslim, woman as per say, East is East.

They're your neighbour, someone you know to say hello to and know a bit about but not your mate, that kind of thing. They are not 3 miles away and obscured by a bush

Medschoolmum · 29/04/2024 16:46

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 16:33

Of course, I’m Muslim myself, my question was on those who are visibly marked as Muslim. Painting with a broad and purposeful broad brush

those posts I’ve seen on here (not this thread) are steeped in judgment so I’m surprised the replies here as the overall tone on MN is very very different

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OK. I misunderstood your point then, as you seemed to be implying that it was possible to tell if someone was Muslim simply by looking at them. What you actually seem to be saying is that some Muslim men are recogniseable as such because of certain cultural markers. I don't suppose that many people would disagree with this.

And yes, there is a lot of islamophobia on MN, as well as a lot of racism and a lot of very ethnocentric advice. That's nothing new, unfortunately, but you won't find many people openly acknowledging that they are prejudiced against mixed relationships - the ones who are probably just ignore threads like this. MN is not one unified voice!

AndiOliversGlasses · 29/04/2024 16:40

Why does your husband dress in a visibly Muslim way, but you do not? Dos this mean you have different levels of observance?

Normally it’s the other way round, a Muslim woman is more instantly recognisable due to the headscarf than a Muslim man.

BusyMummy001 · 29/04/2024 16:39

Iwasafool · 29/04/2024 15:29

Well obviously Muslim men don't wear a scarf and plenty of non muslim men have a beard and moustache. I know someone who wears a Star of David necklace but she isn't Jewish, she just likes it. Apparently some Shia Muslims wear a turban, Tuaregs wear a type of turban which combines a veil, they are generally Muslim. Afghan men often wear a turban. I'm sure there are others. Some Christians wear a cross, many don't and some prefer a crucifix. Probably some non Christians wear a cross as a piece of jewellery they like.

You seem to rely on stereotypes.

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Think the Tates are also muslim, so can add wearing overly tight, ridiculously expensive suits whilst brandishing cigars to the list

Original poster

Weallknowfrogsgo · 29/04/2024 16:33

Medschoolmum · 29/04/2024 16:19

I know loads of Muslim men who don't have beards!

Yes, beards are the norm amongst a certain section of very conservative Muslims, but there are many, many Muslim men who don't look like this. Surely you realise this?!

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Of course, I’m Muslim myself, my question was on those who are visibly marked as Muslim. Painting with a broad and purposeful broad brush

those posts I’ve seen on here (not this thread) are steeped in judgment so I’m surprised the replies here as the overall tone on MN is very very different

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