To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

I dated a (Persian) muslim for a time, as a Jew (yes my family were truly delighted!). I remember him always feeling sorry for women who’d converted/reverted, but we never explored in detail why he felt that way. When I see a couple like that now, I only remember his feelings about the situation. I suppose it is unusual enough that it’d catch most people’s attention.

As a white-passing woman with a visibly Muslim man all I felt was that I was with someone who I loved and was compatible with. We didn’t stay the course but that wasn’t down to religious differences.

Wouldn't give it a second thought, if I noticed at all.

As did I!

There was a thread at the same time about a woman going abroad with her muslim boyfriend to have an Islamic wedding. Majority of the posts were along the lines of be careful, are you crazy, why would you marry a Muslim, make sure you keep your passport so he doesn’t keep you there, and so on. This thread was on the back of that.

There seem to be a couple of threads about Muslims and Islam again, and every now and then MN gets a flux of them so I’m guessing it’s time for it again.

Well I did, so yes it happens.

Funny how this was the second reply and the entire ensuing thread is basically Exhibit A for this.

You could say the same thing about any thread on Mumsnet. Why bother posting, because it doesn't matter what random people think. But it can matter a lot. Mumsnet has helped a lot of people, some of whom have come back to tell us how much their life has improved.

I don't get the impression that op is thinking of dumping their partner based on other people's thoughts though. I think they maybe want to better understand why they get the looks and comments that they do. Or maybe get people to think about their own prejudices.

I think using an online forum to get a wide target audience in order to ask a question about other people's perceptions is perfectly valid, personally.

Maybe they have to wear a special badge ?

What makes you think op is assuming anything? It's much easier to ask 'what do you think when...?' than 'if you think anything at all, what do you think when...?'

It's an open question, inviting a variety of responses, one of which could easily be 'i don't think anything'.

Oh and btw, I mean this in the best way, but I couldn't disagree with you more. Other people can be some of the most interesting people you could meet. See those friends you have? They were other people once... 😊

So imo, the point is that they want to know what others think, based on their own experiences.

But does it really matter what random people think. The OP should be confident and happy with her choice unless she plans to alter life after receiving feedback. That would be really sad.

No offence but would you assume we think anything it is not relevant to any of us

Other people are not really that interesting, not counting friends, family etc.

Really? Op says in the very first post that they are in such a relationship, and has had inappropriate looks and questions.

So imo, the point is that they want to know what others think, based on their own experiences.

I am still trying to understand the point of this thread.

I'm white, married to an Indian Sikh. The only dodgy looks and comments and issues we've had have been from other Asians. They're agog seeing my spouse walking around holding hands with and having a child with a white woman. Never had a single comment or look from anyone white!

You really shouldn't put words in my mouth. My posts have been very neutral in tone, but you are making huge leaps.

I didn't say I didn't like it (I mean, I don't 'like it', but I don't dislike it either. I don't have any strong feelings either way, honestly) - and I didn't say that I need you to answer my question. I merely made an observation that you didn't, while responding in a manner that appears very defensive.

I was just wondering if you'd had a recent experience of islamaphobia, or had seen something on the news recently about it, which had lead you to finding this thread. Maybe you should take your own advice of 'getting to know people for who they are' before you shout them down.

We have mixed marriages on both sides of our family so I don’t think anything of it.

Not defensive at all but who are you that you feel I need to give you an answer as to why I posted on an older thread I can post on any i choose it's none of your business at all so stay curious

I was just curious, but your defensiveness and lack of actual answer to the question is very interesting.

Old thread I know, but FWIW I am a white British woman with a brown Muslim immigrant partner. We have been married 30 years, and have two adult children. His family are very devoutly religious and are all lovely to me (I speak the language and respect their customs, but don't cover my head). My family, less so towards him, refused to come to the wedding, although have thawed somewhat in the last 20 years or so!

Reactions towards us are mostly not bothered, often people from both sides don't realise we are a couple especially if in a shop etc. Strangest is people's reaction to our kids, because they are brown most people don't realise I am their mother.

I can respond to whatever thread I like regardless of when it was put up.
Jog on if you don't like it

I wouldn’t think much of it.

If they were wearing very different clothes (e.g. him traditional for a religious day, her casual), I might glance twice as it’s unusual to see.

And I might be vaguely curious about one person seeming religious and the other not.

However if you were both wearing casual dress or both traditional dress I wouldn’t think much of it.

Why have you resurrected this thread from April?

It's nothing to do with me, wouldn't be my choice for many reasons.

🙄

I’ve never had any odd looks when I was with my ex partner and he was a Muslim. Not that I ever noticed