Just want my 9 week old to sleep through

Im 16 months in and mine still doesn’t sleep through!

@Littlepixie75 tbf those options only work if baby will stay asleep in car or pram.

Currently on my second newborn and both my babies seem to pretty much only sleep at motorway speeds so wake up as soon as hit the exit roundabout never mind parked up for any length of time. Same with pram, most of time won't even sleep longer than 40ish mins and again wake when stopped, which is not surprising if will wake when still bloody moving!

I do agree even short chunks of sleep add up though, I currently sleep 9-10:30ish pm (DH holds him), midnight-3ish and then 5-6:30ish (will go in cot between midnight and 6ish thank god), with a morning nap on one weekend day. If I don't get 5.5h I really struggle. It means not seeing my DH much but hoping it will just be a few more months and that keeps me going. We sleep in separate bedrooms also for better sleep quality. Am EBF so can't get any longer stretches but FF fed my first, and if could get a night uninterrupted it was amazing, could your partner do this one night on weekend? We also split the nights then so him 8pm-2am then baby was mine until he finished work - and had the baby thrust at him as soon as!

I have to use sling for all naps in day, not too bad right now as nearly 3 months and so not that heavy, but can at least sit down and put my feet up then get up to rock into next sleep cycle to try stretch the nap. Is this something you could try? I find this more restful than attempting to put them down for them to wake straightaway or up to 15 mins later then having to cope with an overtired baby.

It will get better, I know that from my first, but it is so hard getting to that point. I defo recommend separate bedrooms for now and talking to your health visitor for support.

6 months was a major milestone in terms of sleep with my first as could do gradual retreat as gentle sleep training, so just need to get there in one piece with this one! Was off night feeds as well so we went back to same bedroom too, fingers crossed for the same again, or ideally sooner. I find accepting this helps me mentally. With my first I tried all sorts to try get her to sleep independently when would have been much happier just going with it as she wasn't ready.

I have a 5wo who sleeps brilliantly at night for his age. Usually only one wake for a feed. However, I’m still knackered because endless broken sleep is horrendous. Plus looking after a newborn all day as well. I can understand why two wakes is killing you.

Your DP can help more with the school run even if it’s just making sure everything is ready for you before leaving for work. That way you just get dressed and go.

Some babies sleep easily, others don't. It's nothing you're doing wrong (one of mine was 5 before consistently sleeping through). Is there anything else you can change to make life easier? Some ideas

• you go to bed just after 5yo & DH keeps baby downstairs and does last feed and settle before he comes up, then you get a block of sleep, maybe 8-11, plus however long until babies first wake-up

• everything for school prepared the night before (ideallyby DH), so you just have to get dressed and go.

• baby can do school run in pajamas with blanket over him in the pram.

• leave a prepacked waffle / Pain au chocolat, water bottle & piece of fruit out the night before for 5yo to eat while you get you and baby ready.

It’s developmental.

I’d have been thrilled with two wake ups a night; I was up every two hours until he was nearly 2.5!

Make sure your partner is pulling their weight, especially if he’s FF. I never managed a single day nap, during pregnancy or to date, but early bedtimes might be essential for a bit.

How early is DP up and out?

He's waking up at least twice in the night and more often than not he won't go back to sleep after his feed.

^ I'm sorry about the impact of your mental health but the first of these sentences is madness. It's not uncommon for children to wake at least twice until two! You must have had it so easy with your first your expectations are way off.

Watch some how to settle baby videos on you tube including the most recent guidance on relieving both bottom and top wind. Baby is growing into their guts.

I’m not sure if this is helpful or not, but in hope that it’s helpful as a positive story, mine did sleep through by 9 weeks. They were EBF. That’s 8pm - 6am of uninterrupted sleep.

Of course they had regressions and periods of waking up in the night, it’s not always consistent.

My sympathies, it’s truly exhausting with newborns.

Newborn sleep is horrendous.

Can you sleep in a different room, or put earplugs in, when it’s not your turn to wake up?

We got in to a routine where DH went to bed early, I did feeds until 2am, then he took over until he left at 7. It meant we each got a solid 5 hours, plus a bit longer of interrupted sleep. For our 5 hour slots we were in a different room - even sleeping on the sofa was worth it!

My first was a horrible sleeper, it absolutely broke me.

It might not be that far away from happening. One of mine started sleeping through about twelve weeks, and it stuck wish I could fucking say the same for the other. Most babies aren't sleeping through by that age, but it's within the range of normal too. You could get lucky!

My friend and her DH alternated nights at the weekend and the one 'off duty' slept in the garage on a camp bed with duvets etc, leaving the other parent to it. Guaranteed one full undisturbed nights sleep every week. Could also use a car/shed if desperate. They were.

Separate room for when it's not your turn, ear plugs.

Acceptance is a bit help but hard to do.

Paid help, be it to do the night feeds or in the day so you can rest.

Your dh needs to take more of the load. He is either at work or he is parenting/house chores. He doesn't get to doss about on his phone, etc if you're still doing household duties.

It's awful somtimes isnt it

I'll never ever forget my DS waking every 2 hours when he was tiny. Like you it took an hour all in all so was literally getting maybe 2 or 3 hours broken sleep a night. Honestly wanted to kill myself from the lack of sleep.

I know it's not much help now, but it wont be like this forever

I found the newborn stage really hard - harder than any other age since then (including teenagers!). You just have to get through it, don't feel guilty about not enjoying it.

9 weeks is very little and most babies aren't sleeping through at that age. It's a tough time and you have my sympathy- don't let worries about whether other babies are sleeping through at that age add to your troubles, because they are not.

I hated this time.I had pnd and I cried everytime ds woke. i felt like I was in a living nightmare tbh.
It will get easier in time but you have my upmost sympathy.

the newborn stage is hard. I’m not going to depress you with how old my second baby was before he slept through but waking twice at 9wks is pretty decent. You do need to try and nap when baby sleeps in the day, I never did and always look back and wonder why as I love a daytime nap now. It does get easier - my second born was a terrible sleeper but I always say to people I had the hard time with him in the first 2yrs and since then he’s been a dream kid, he’s 20 this year and such a good kid. Hang on in there

My baby slept through the night from 8 weeks...she's now 10 months & was up every hour last night & had two feeds 🤣 they all humble us at some point OP. In a few weeks/months time your baby will be sleeping through & theirs will be up every hour. They change so much & so often. Hang in there it'll come

Urgh you poor love. It’s giving me flashbacks. It does somehow pass by though and after a while you’ll realise things have got a tiny bit easier. Will baby fall asleep on school run? If so just come in, put pram in quiet room and go back to bed for a bit. Or if school run is in car and baby falls asleep, just park the car somewhere quiet and sleep in the car. I used to do this most days! Even getting half an hour of kip this way helps a little. And go to bed really early, like 8pm - you just need to go into survival mode for a short period. The priority is getting sleep!

A 9 week old sleeping through is not the norm. The baby expert sites etc say some babies will sleep through at between 6-9 months. They mean a 6 hour stretch, which could be, depending on that baby's routine, from 8pm to 2am. Or 2am-8am.
What they don't mean is a normal human adult's 11-7 sleeping through.

Don't be too hard on yourself- fuck the housework, watch mindless telly. This too shall pass.

PS- I have never spoken to anyone whose babies slept through at such a young age.

They're either lying, embellishing what really happens (I knew plenty who said they slept through but then said they woke to feed?!) or are extremely lucky now but it is no guarantee it will last for them.

Sorry - you are being a bit unreasonable as he is 9 weeks but you are knackered so that's allowed. I only have solidarity as I had babies that woke for ages (worst was til she was 3) and nothing I did really made any difference, sleep is a temperament and developmental thing.

Can you use some ear plugs when it's not your turn and go to bed super early? When your eldest is at school go back to bed with the baby? It's kind of just survival at this stage...

It isn't that enjoyable, I agree.

With my second child, I kind of gave up with the idea of say and night, and just looked at how much sleep I got in a 24 hour period.

So, I did the nursery run, then went straight back to sleep while ds2 napped. We started our day at 11.30am.

Gosh, mine is 13 weeks and only 2 night Wakes for feeds sounds great! But I don't have a 5 year old to wrangle. And I am at the end of my tethee doing all week nights. So..posting for solidarity and other's answers!

Is baby EBF?
I realised some of my NCT mum group were saying their baby sleeps through meaning a) medical definition ie 5 hours straight at some point in the night or b) waking only to feed then going back to sleep.