To find working part time hard?

I haven't RTFT but I feel like this too, and I only have one child.

One suggestion would be to try and compress your hours so that you do four days in five if his would work for your type of role, and get your DP to negotiate a two hour early finish for the day you work the extra hours, in exchange for hours elsewhere.

I really don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I didn't even work and I felt completely exhausted in toddler years (three in two years)
Looking back it was the organisation though. I should have just allocated four weekends to catching up...clutter, cooking, headspace, admin and made my husband deal with the children those four weekends and THEN I would have managed it. But I was just firefighting the entire time...every time I picked them up from preschool at lunchtime in termtime it was how will I get through to bedtime.
There are books on helping those of us who aren't organised. A slob comes clean is I think one
I also had a bit of an epiphany one day thinking how nice it was picking them up from nursery and coming home for the afternoon, snuggling up etc. A very wet rainy day.

You haven't really explained what the problem is. What exactly are you struggling with? pp's have offered good suggestions.

I found it easy because I'm naturally organised. When I got home: All washing was done, I cleaned, packed away todays stuff, lay out their nursery uniform for the next day, make sure you've got a lunch for tomorrow. All laid out. You wake up in the morning and most of it is already done. So easy.

I agree your DH needs to help more. I would hate doing all dropoffs all week. If he can't drop off he needs to take over the kid related admin and pack the bags the night before, sort their clothes out, etc. My DH does all after-school club booking and admin as I do plenty already. I work full time, but flexibly, and try to ensure I get time to myself e.g. if I've done after school childcare he does bedtime, weekly evening yoga class.

It gets easier. I have two the same age but oldest is in school. Ime, it'll get better when they're in one setting and when the oldest starts school. We did have a brutal couple of years though!

Can’t speak about working PT with young children seeing as this is something I’ve never experienced. But PT (2.5 days a week) was considerably more stressful than FT. I hope I’ll never have to do it again!

I I do similar, I find part of the exhaustion comes from double the mental load, you've got mum hat and work hat on, and it's harder to switch off from one side for a shorter period of time. I spend the half of the day at home thinking about work, then at work I'm thinking of everything i need to do at home. Whereas when I do a full 12 hour day at work I actually feel less mentally drained because I'm able to switch off the parenting side until bedtime.
It's all about juggling while DC are young, but even when you manage to find part time work that works for your family it's still hard.

It is hard. There is no getting around that.

I found that the only thing that helped the situation was my DH and me getting better organised. And I do mean both of us. So that everything that could be done was done the night before and on Sundays we got as much ready for the week as possible including batch cooking. The morning was very functional with the children up, breakfasted, helped into their uniform (laid out night before), teeth brushed, coats and shoes on and out the door. Try to train the children that the mornings are not a time for playing around.

By the way - and I say this to be helpful - I have not found it gets better! Mine are 10 and 12 and I still feel pulled in a 1000 ways.

Yep its like this now - tbh I found working longer days much less tiring - so - 3 long days - because I just got out the house and switched into work mode and then got back at bedtime.

Its the switching! When I do school pick up I feel like my brain never really switches to work mode - Im planning for after school/ what to do/ what to feed them

I would find this exhausting too, and it wouldn't feel very part time to me. Your kids are still really young, could you drop a day?
I work part time, 24 hours a week. I'm a nurse so I work two long days a week. Although the hours are long it gives me 5 days off.

I fully sympathise op. I used to work long hours no issues, loved my job. Went part time after baby, could not hack it. I left after a few months as I just couldn’t manage without feeling my life (and everyone else’s) was falling apart and just so stressful and chaotic. I hated it!!! Very grateful I had a choice. I don’t know how people stay sane with heavy workloads and young children.. I don’t see how the two are compatible unless you have really good family help very nearby!! For me it wasn’t possible to do both well and it really affected my mh too. I had a crappy employer who didn’t make life easy which didn’t help. X

I really think you'd feel better with at least one free clear day off in the week, and without the pressure of getting to school pick up every day. At the moment you're getting part-time pay but manic stress every day of the week. I particularly find collecting from after school club a lot less stressful than collecting at school pick up time. I don't have to collect them at any particular time (as long as it's before 6.30pm), so I can make sure work is done and dusted before leaving. A rush from work to the school pick up every day sounds just as bad as being full time imo, if not worse. If you think they'd cope with a longer day a few days a week, I'd absolutely see if you can restructure your hours so you can do that and have at least one actual day off a week.

I did similar hours when DC were little and the absolute worst times were when I had one in nursery and one in school. It just felt like deadline after deadline (be at nursery as it opened, race to school for breakfast club, sprint to train station to be in work on time). There is no slack in the schedule. Pick up was even worse.

there is only so much organising can do in advance unfortunately. So, my only advice is to grit your teeth and know it gets better.

oh, and never feel bad about being late if it’s outside your control and never let anyone delay you leaving on time. People always think you have “just a minute for a quick question “. No! Be firm and leave when you have to. I only learnt this after running (a mile…) to the train station too many times!!

I can relate. But what I realised was I was carrying the entire ‘mental load’. Take a look at Eve Rodesky ‘Fair Play’. Someone in here recommended it when I posted similar and it’s changed my life. I realised that I was the default for all things domestic. He’d say ‘what can I do to help’ but that’s not the same as taking ownership and taking a lead with certain things. I now hold far less in my head.

Because it’s not just the school run it’s;

knowing what uniform they need
buying that uniform
laundering that uniform
knowing if it’s world book day and they need an outfit
planning a healthy breakfast
buying said healthy breakfast
supervising that they eat said breakfast
supervising teeth cleaning and washing
supervising getting dressed
stopping them getting distracted
getting the goddam shoes on.

Then it’s the school run.

All of the above takes time, thought, planning, energy. Whose time, thought and energy is it mostly? Who plans it all? If he rocks up after work and does nothing - not ok. If he rocks up after work and offers to help - better but not good enough. Must do better. If he does a fair share of the ‘holding’ it all he’s a keeper!

https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-book

This is my life but I do full time and rush off in the middle of the working day to get thrm then complete work after while cooking dinner (I wfh). I think it gets easier ehen theu reaxh secondary. Its also easier when theu can get ready themselves.

PS - It gets easier as the children get older. For most people.

Would evening work better an option.
I did this in a supermarket.
I done slightly longer hours for 4 days, rather than 5.
Plus it means you're home if the kids are ill.
And your DH can look after them in the evening

It's routine, you will find yours :) I have four children 9,10,11 and 12. We all need to leave the house at 7.30. It has taken a lot of practice to get us out of the mornings being manic.

You're not alone. I only work 3 days but they are v long hours and I don't sleep well/at all afterwards. I've only got 1 dc who's at school but he's SEN and v violent. Everything feels like chaos.

Sounds as if you are finding parenting hard rather than finding work hard.

it also sounds as if you are doing a great job parenting, give yourself a break. These years are tough but it will get easier.

I agree it sounds busy. Until my DC were both at school, I worked 3 full days 9-5, and had 2 full weekdays off with them. I liked it as I only had to get them out of the house 3 mornings and had 2 days off with one/both of them. Workdays were busy but they were full days at work so I got lots done, and the kids weren't tired from full days in childcare.

The downsides were, the DC could only do playdates and activities those 2 afternoons a week I was off, as DH was at work, so that was a bit limiting.

I think your working pattern will be great when they are both in school and don't need wraparound, but it sounds hard now.

Personally I think working a few hours every day of the week is the worst part-time option in my opinion, you’re literally in work every day.
I’d hate that.
I work part time doing long days, is there any way you could change to this?
It’s so much easier when you have actual whole days off to get housework & jobs done, then get wraparound care on your working days.

I found the opposite was true for me. When I worked full-time days I had very little patience left for my children in the evening and driving them to hobbies was a chore. Doing 5 short days meant I got some respite in between esp once they were old enough for breakfast club and after-school clubs and it became easier once they were able to walk to and from school by themselves. I also didn't mind taking them to hobbies as much. I think what stood out for me is that you have two different drop offs and pick ups. That would be stressful no matter what you do. How long before they go to the same school?

I found it much easier to do 3 full days and 2 off than short days Mon to Fri, if that's possible for you.