To find working part time hard?

Sorry if this isn’t helpful at all, but this reminds me of me when my children were younger. They are both much older now, one already at university and the second going in September. I think back to days like this and would love to go back and just have one more, it would be chaos pretty much every morning! Two different schools to get them to and getting them out of the house in the morning felt like such a struggle every day. (I also worked part time 9-3 every day).

I started making up new words to pop songs to sing to them to get them to hurry up and get moving, rather than shouting at them and nagging them every morning to get ready.

One of our favourites was to the song by Robbie Williams ‘Candy’ and went like this…

‘Hey ho kids let’s go
stop being so chuffing slow
get your shoes on so we can go
we’ve got to get to school now’

It actually started making the mornings much more fun and the kids even started singing the song themselves and laughing and smiling whilst they were getting ready.

We all have ‘mental health’. It’s on a continuum from good mental health to bad mental health and fluctuates depending on a number of factors. Fact.

"Since having the kids I just can't seem to manage" - this is the problem

If you find it a hard life with children I can offer you a very easy option. just do not have them! There you are! Free advice! Blimey!

I think Mental Health is any excuse for just normal life stresses now. Never heard such loony, Where will this end?

I totally agree, my DD does 2 long days and a 9.30-2.30 day at nursery. The 9.30-2.30 day is by far the most stressful day of the week. You don't have a chance to breathe, school run, nursery run, work (but not enough time to really get into anything) back to nursery, back to school then evening routine. I have zero intentions of spreading my hours over 5 days once my youngest starts school. Yes, I'll need to pay for wrap around care 2 days a week but I think that's a fair trade off for a better balance in my life.

Working part time is hard. Where l work they try to "forget" l do half the hours everyone else does and if l am not careful get double the work and half the time. I think a re-shuffle of your hours could be helpful e.g. l do not work on a Tuesday so spend it doing appointments for me or them, a batch cook, trip to the park, soft play etc so a mix of fun and chores. But my children are younger than your and both nap which is super helpful. Your husband needs to do more which is often the case with these sorts of posts. He needs to do some of the pick ups and drop offs, plus his share of house stuff

“Good enough” is what you have to get used to being when you’re a working parent. You no longer have the headspace to be genuinely good at anything, only good enough to muddle through until the children are older.

When my dc were little I was working 3.5 dpw, I found the 0 5 day by far the most stressful day of my week! No suggestions behind what others have suggested. It does get better tho, much better, they are both now at secondary and I'm working more hours, soooook much easier

Of course the mornings are a rush. You're trying to get out the house to a deadline with 2 young children. It's like herding cats.

This is normal. It will improve as you get more used to the routine and your children get older and can do more for themselves.

I agree with this, but, by spreading your hours over 5 days, you are creating so much extra stress for yourself.
You could do the same hours over 3 days - your dh could do the pick ups of one of your dc, and you only have 3 days of the week when you are trying to get 2 little people out of the house. They will also eat breakfast in their Nurseries, so that is another stress removed on your working days. You will only have to make lunches on 3 days.

What you are doing at the moment is going from your paid job to your unpaid job, as @Theright1 has said.

YANBU....I only work 2.5 days and feel like there is never enough hours in the day to get everything done, and that I'm always rushing around and trying to juggle everything.
Whilst you are working shorter days, you are still working most of every week day, so it sounds pretty like full-time to me!
Can you drop any days or change your hours if it is making family life stressful and you feel so burnt out?

No idea how the GIF got there! 🤦‍♀️

Exactly!! That’s what woke me up. When DH said ‘why are you so tired you’ve had two days off’ and I agreed. Then it dawned on me - oh no. Hold on. I never stop working. Ever. Every day from 7-8 I’m working. Sometimes it’s paid and other times it’s not.

The Fair Play book really helped to balance things out a bit. DH now does much more.

Hold on tight. It's just for a few years, exhausting, yes, indeed. But that's motherhood/working single parenthood.
What kind of job allows such hours? Or did you specifically ask for that?
I know this is not the point but the hours fit quite well! And difficult to negotiate in some offices!

personally I found working part time and doing drop off and pick up much harder than working full time and using after school club/ childminders. you have the worst of all worlds at the moment

So what's the split of household task apart from you doing all drop off and pickups. If your DH is home at 4:30 what is he doing ?

Get dh to do pick up and prep with you like lunches.

I m not being nitpicky but yu say you're lucky the kids don't have to do after school clubs....ours has been a few times and begs us to go more! If she weren't so busy already we would be happy to!

What exactly are you struggling with? pps have offered good suggestions. Just show some empathy and don't sound smug. So easy.

on some of your points :

• I see my son for bedtime and at the weekend and we spend quality time together. I read him books of an evening and take him to classes and play with him all weekend.

• He doesn’t cry leaving nursery, he is delighted to see us.

Putting it back to you, would you prefer those gps / nurses you mentioned gave up work once they had children? Or worked part time and put more strain on the system? Or you’d just have young trainee gps/ nqs pre child age giving you or your children or parents care?

When my DC were still in school I used to get there clothes out for the morning, shoes and bags by the front door and bowls/plates on the table for breakfast.

For myself I had a system for my clothes. I started putting everything together in the wardrobe. So, white top with a white bra on the same hanger, tights if needed.

I've done various different schedules of part time hours over the years and Mon-Friday 9-2 is hands down the worst! You literally don't get 2 minutes to yourself and get lumbered with all the cooking etc to boot because you happen to be home when everyone gets hungry.

I'd definitely review the hours.

I used to work in a nursery. We had similar parents to you - mostly, as the nursery branches were near hospitals, we had a lot of doctor/nurse parents. They would drop off their child (often just the one child) at opendoors, 6/6.30 am depending on the branch, and pick them up at closing, sometimes 7/8pm. They didn;t know their kids. They never saw their kids. We were closer to their children than they were, and so often those those children cried at leaving time. What is the point of having children, if you just stick them in nursery all hours? Genuine question.

Pre-kids, my 40+ hour work week (minimum wage shit job) was entirely managable. Depressing. Shit. But you just got in with it - no other choice. After kids - no. Just no. But then - wouldn't have had children at all if I couldn't be a stay at home parent. Working that job and children was not viable.

change of tune to the others - I don’t get it. I have a 3 year old and I work 12-15 hour days depending on what I am dealing with at work and my husband also works full time with his own business. We don’t have a nanny, we just send our son to nursery. Try living our lives. You have no idea what manic is. . .

You're not really working part-time and that's the issue. When you finish your office job you're straight into your job looking after your children. People wouldn't tell a SAHM with children at home all day that they don't work. You're working more than full time-that's why your exhausted.

Getting everything ready the night before helped me a lot. I’m not a morning person and can push on in the evenings to organise stuff if I know the mornings will be lighter.

What could you get ready tonight so that tomorrow morning is a bit easier?

But really 2 and 4 are full on ages. It will get better but I’m not surprised you’re struggling. Trying to do it all plus working qnd no downtime to yourself, I’d crumble.

Try to find something 3 days a week and a nursery that would have them both. In the end they need a mum and who thrives not survives. You can’t drink from and empty cup.