Jobs worth nursery??

There are probably multiple reasons for their decision. I work with this age group and we all learn the songs together but then we tend to break them into 2 groups. The older ones practise with hand movements or sitting arrangements etc. They help make graduation hats from paper, a bit tricky for younger kids. They do photos and a certificate. They also tell us what they want to be when they grow up and we do a display of this at the graduation. We talk a lot about the new school and changes they will encounter to prepare them. a younger child might not be able to do the prep stuff and might start messing around pulling at hats or not doing the songs. Generally I wouldn't like a younger child to join in but honestly if your child was well behaved I probably would say yes to be nice and just leave out the prep stuff and let him stand there...but I totally get where the nursery are coming from

I'm intrigued to know what you were planning to tell him next year when he'll be starting reception as he'll already think he's started. What a bizarre way to handle a situation that occurs for a lot of kids every year

You’re setting him up for a life of disappointment if you don’t start building up some resilience……for both of you.

I think you need to remind yourself that although it's called a "Leavers' Ceremony" it is not for all children leaving the nursery but for those leaving to start school. So your DS will have one next year, just before he starts school. You can do something special at home if you think he is going to feel left out but I bet the nursery sometimes do an activity with one group of children and not another. You do need to ensure, before September, that he knows many of his friends are going to start school but he is going to a new nursery because he's not 5.

His friends his own age are all going to school and taking part in the leavers activities. He's also leaving, but not going to school but going to the same place as his friends.

It's what happens when you're born near the cut off, kids you've known since the baby room are suddenly a year ahead/behind.

I’m going to go and find a hard wall to bang my head against….

We have a nursery attached to our primary school. It isn't part of the school; it's a separate business. The nursery children have no interaction with the school children other than drop off/pick up for older children. The nursery children start later and finish earlier.

Also it does not guarantee a place in reception.

This! I was expecting the same 😅

If I've understood correctly OP and you'd be asking that he participate in activities that the 'older' kids would be doing then nursery are totally right to say he can't! You can help him to transition to the idea of schools in other ways when the time comes. Our second born is also due to start school in sept 2025 and we're moving her to the nursery attached to the school. Honestly it wouldn't even occur to me to ask nursery if she could participate in an event that she wouldn't be a part of if she was staying at that time.

Our nursery used to let the other children in the pre-school room join in with the leavers ceremony if they were in on the day so they didn’t feel left out. They’re so little. It’s just a nice kindness to do that for them. I would be really sad in your position and take him out earlier so he doesn’t have to witness it all. 4 year olds can be quite sensitive and I think it’s unkind for adults to leave him out like that

He's the wrong year, the wrong age and he's going to a school nursery not a school. You are making way too much of this and possibly confusing your child. All the other children will know that they are 4 and off to big school. It's for the 4 year olds.

Why are you telling him he's going to school? Going to the school nursery doesn't even guarentee a school place. He might not even get in to the same school.

I'm not angry?

But her reaction was to ignore the people pointing out WHY he wasn't being "discriminated" (which is a huge overstatement anyway) against was to insist it was leaving him out. And then start throwing a strop with the classic "I'm a first time poster" crap because no one was agreeing with her.

The transition to school for the younger ones starts with this. They watch the older ones and learn that it's their turn next year.

It sets up their final year of nursery for transition activities and helps get them school ready.

Honestly you don't need to be a helicopter parent and go ahead and fix everything that might upset your child before it happens!
It's a big deal for you and your child will take their cue from you, so you will inadvertently teach them it's a big problem.
Focus on yourself and then you can support any concerns your child has (if any) and help them with any difficult feelings they may have.
Good luck!

Sounds like they are in the same room for 3 and 4 year olds, some going to school some not. A September born child is very likely to have friends in both school years as they are close in age to both.

Sorry I agree with nursery 😬

We are just telling you like it is. You are being too PFB. He's just moving nurseries, not 'leavers'. He'll start at new nursery, it'll be fine.

I agree. The child needs to know the truth, otherwise he is likely to be upset come September when he is in Nursery class whilst his friends are in school.

He needs to be excited about his new nursery at the school and the new friends he will make.

I agree especially if it's being done so he'll be with his current friends as he won't

And how do we explain this to him.

I really really don't know what you mean. Surely him taking part in this leavers thing would mean he is involved in activities being done by children in the year above him, not his friends? By not taking part he is doing exactly what all his friends his own age are doing. You've confused the issue by telling him he's going to school rather than just a different nursery.

No he's not. He's not been accepted into primary yet

He might not even get a place at the school though? The fact is he's leaving to go to a school nursery which is exactly the same as any other child leaving to move nurseries. It happens all the time and doesn't warrant a long drawn out goodbye. It's different to the children leaving the setting because they are now too old and is completely comparable to the situation described by others comparing a year 6 child leaving primary school Vs any other child in another year leaving. One is fuss worthy the other is just a normal occurrence.

I think people are being really nitpicky here OP. He’s leaving to go to the school he will be in for his entire primary school life-whether that’s nursery or reception class. Think it’s petty and mean of them. I wouldn’t make a thing of it, it isn’t worth it. But I understand you feeling annoyed over it 💐

I agree with this. Ours have staggered break times so won't even see each other in passing.

I'd be questioning whether he'd be better staying where he is than having to settle into a new nursery class, in a new location with new staff in a school you can't even guarantee he'll get a place at next year.

Do you often lie to your child to try to make them feel better?

Because if you do, you shouldn’t.

Children need to learn to cope with the realities of life (unfairness, disapppointment, fear etc) at a young age in a safe space, so when they are older they have the right coping strategies.

Have you been to visit the school nursery yet? Ours is seperate to reception, nursery and reception kids have seperate playgrounds and would have no way to interact. Just something to think about if you are telling him he will see his friends there.