Jobs worth nursery??

YABU

You asked, which wasn’t an unreasonable thing to do. They said no. Get over it.

It’s not discriminatory. Using ‘discrimination’ as an argument when there isn’t any just makes a mockery out of those people who genuinely do suffer discrimination.

”I want to go into mumma bear mode and fight this…” - or instead you could show by example that you can’t always have what you want instead of acting entitled. The world does not revolve around you. You could do well teaching your child the same thing.

OP honestly it will be fine. I moved my DS to a pre school attached to his sisters primary school and he still understood it was pre school and "big" school was the following year. He won't be confused at all

But he’s not going to school, Jeez the entitlement of people these days is shocking

The problem is that your DC and OP's are just moving nursery. It's also a significant transition for children who move setting in, say, February but they don't get a ceremony.

Where does the nursery draw the line? They'll have children coming and going throughout the year. Do the DC who left in May get to come back? Do the ones who will be leaving in October get to be part of the ceremonies but come back the next day?

Like I said, I suspect my nursery would allow it but I can understand why they don't. It might not feel like it to us as parents, but to the nursery as a business there's a big difference between no longer being eligible for their service and choosing to purchase that service from someone else.

Thing is you graduate due to finishing a course with the right grades.

Your children haven't reached those grades which in this case is simply being the right academic age.

It seems harsh for a 4 year old but since kids have started graduating from everything rather than having "leavers parties" and "leavers does" it had become more of a milestone that parents notice.

Also my DD's school has a nursery and they don't do graduations.

This is because the reception kids have lessons with the nursery children.

You can't graduate if next year a few times a week, with more sessions at the beginning of the school year you are going to see the same staff. The lessons are playing, being read to and music with the play sessions decreasing every term.

In a similar situation, although my child is summer born and we are choosing to delay his school start to September 2025.

I feel exactly the same as you op - he's moving on in similar (although not identical) circumstances to the school leavers, and you want for his ending at the current nursery to be marked as it's a significant transition.

If he was staying at the same nursery it would be different, but he's not.

Wouldn't expect people not in this situation to understand (as per the responses on this thread) but I'm with you op.

The gowns are dressing up gowns and the hats are made by the nursery staff.

The kids are presented with a book of their pictures that weren't given to you and some photos of them. Plus a certificate.

I got a book from both the nursery and childminder by DD attended. Though the childminder was sensible and had no graduation simply because she can provide wrap around or random holiday care for a child she has looked after.

I regards to the certificates my DD has been getting certificates for everything in the last two years. So certifications for going to her ballet class and certificates for not being a complete pain in her holiday clubs, as well as ones in school.

I have a September born child who is now in reception and you are sounding completely unhinged.

My DD and 2 others who were born in early autumn saw their friends have a nursery "graduation". According to the nursery staff my DD was emotionally intelligent enough to tell her two friends including her "wife" that next year it would be them doing the graduation.

In September and October they were joined by 2 more autumn born kids plus a few more born in the same academic year at the nursery.

Then when she had her nursery "graduation" some of the younger kids staying for another academic year were upset, though oddly her "husband" wasn't.

Sorry, I'm with the nursery. He is not leaving to start school- he's not the right age group

Yeah, sorry YABU.

My DD also old in the year, but wouldn't expect this. Even if she was moving to pre-school.

Yes, children 'his age' are just as much the summer born children in the year above as the autumn born children in his year.

The event is for nursery leavers going to school. He can't take part in 'moving onto school' activities when he's just moving to another nursery.

I think the whole 'graduating' thing is absolutely ridiculous anyway to be honest, the kids had no choice but to go to nursery, they didn't pass or fail anything so why are they graduating? It's just probably another nonsense that's come over from the US. Where on earth do the gowns and hats come from? I'm glad it wasn't around for my son.

My child had to sit through the "graduation" of when the bigger kids left to go to school, those kids all got to wear gowns and graduation hats and my child and similar age children who were continuing on with nursery education watched and clapped.

Then the next year when my child was actually leaving nursery education it was their turn to wear a gown and hat at their "graduation" ceremony.

If your child is still in nursery education, I don't understand why you have told them they are going to school, because they're not?

The new nursery will do your child a graduation ceremony next year when they leave nursery, well I'd assume so because I think all nurseries have jumped on that bandwagon now.

Maybe you would have liked a significant goodbye as it's been a part of your life. But your child won't remember much about the place as time goes on. It's a chapter of your life closing but I don't think you can jump the queue into the nursery graduation for your own sentimentality if you see what I mean.

I spent a long time downloading lots of nursery photos from app and made a snapfish book if that is something that would help you signify the end of the time there.

Pulling him out when most of his friends are moving makes perfect sense, as presumably the school nursery class will have loads of the same kids that will be in his primary school class. Nursery school will be a little more grown up than private daycare so it will work really well as school prep.

OP is overthinking it about the private nursery, but at the same time I get that it's going to be tricky for a 3yo to understand.

And then they leave to go to school and within approximately 20 minutes your 3 year old has new friends in preschool room and doesn’t give a shit. At least that’s what happened with my autumn born DD in her private nursery. The idea of pulling her out and sending her to school nursery so she didn’t miss those friends is laughable to me.

You’ve caused this mess. HE IS NOT STARTING SCHOOL.

My daughter is at school nursery, we interchange school and nursery. She understands just fine.

Was your daughter in the position of being told she was going to "school" which was actually nursery, whilst also having friends who were going to "school" which was actually school though? That's quite an amount of double think for a 3/4 year old.

My daughter is at school nursery, we interchange school and nursery. She understands just fine.

Last school year she went to a "pre-school" they had kids from 2.5 through to those ready to start reception. Everyone leaving the preschool for whatever reason at the end of term joined in the leavers party. Everyone was celebrated regardless of what year group?!?!
The private day nursery that is near us does the same.

YABU. He’s not leaving to go to school so why would he join in, he’s going to preschool. My DD was in the same situation last year, all her friends were going to school, she learnt all the songs and practiced with them but when it came to the graduation she just went into the room below at nursery. She was aware she wasn’t joining in because she wasn’t going to school yet, she wasn’t bothered.

Maybe you should make him aware he is going to preschool and not school because he will wonder why he’s not in a class with his friends.

Well, I won’t add to the pile on re leaving, but I do suggest you work on the whole “how do I explain this to him?” in reference to a 3yo.

You’re going to be creating a monster, and a lot of stress for yourself, if you’re struggling with how to make life understandable for a 3yo. You’re the adult. You are in charge. You tell him how things work, he doesn’t tell you what he wants with a view to you trying to bend the world to his will. As you’ve already learned from this tiny little example, that’s not going to work.

You would be doing him a terrible disservice if you raise him to believe that he is right and everyone else is wrong if they don’t give him what he wants or needs to be “happy”. Be the adult in this relationship.

What will happen if he doesn't get a place at that primary school? How likely is that? I know of parents who moved their DCs to a preschool attached to the primary school they wanted and they didn't get it.

Don'y send him to nursery on the day of the "leavers ceremony". Then he won't even notice he isn't included in it. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

To me this seems like the nursery have done a 'computer says no' type reply when really, what difference will it make? Well, what I mean is, it's no extra work for the nursery, it won't have a negative impact on the kids eligible for the leaving ceremony, but it will mean a lot to you and your son, and make a positive difference for him. Particularly as he's been there so long, where's the harm in being flexible around rules that they make themselves anyway?

I personally wouldn't have said he was going to 'school' yet, as he still won't be in the same class as his friends. But if the nursery is part of the school, it's open for school hours and he has to wear school uniform, then I understand why you explained it this way, and you're not wrong.

Will he know about the graduation ceremony at the old nursery? If not, don't dwell on it (or mention it), just do something special as a family, like go out for an ice cream or somewhere he likes but doesn't get to go often. If he does know about it, just say that the ceremony is only for kids a year older, but you're going to [insert whatever thing you're going to celebrate] to celebrate leaving nursery and moving to the new one. Most kids seem to accept a lot and swiftly move on to the next interesting thing. If you don't make a big deal about it, he's likely to get over any disappointment quickly.

He isn’t leaving to go to school. The end.

I can only imagine the sigh of relief when you handed the nursery notice. I bet you have been a complete nightmare.