Jobs worth nursery??

Why are you lying to your child??

I think you are the unreasonable one on this occasion. Your son isn't starting school he is moving to a different nursery. There will be other children at the nursery not starting till the following year. They won't be up taking part. It's a common sense decision.

The only problem is that you’re calling them jobs worth and discriminatory when they didn’t give you what you want

Your being ridiculous. He won't care about the leavers ceremony. He will experience it next year. He isn't going to school. If you turn this transition into a "starting school", what will you do next year. What you want is for you, not your son.

it would be very confusing for him to do the ceremony with them all talking about leaving to go to big school etc, then go back to nursery (albeit a different one), then leave that to go to school the following year.

You sound incredibly entitled. The ceremony is to celebrate the end of nursery and it’s not the end of nursery for your son. He’s got another year.
He will have his own rite of passage next year

I feel the nursery could accept that he is also leaving them and moving on elsewhere and, like all the end of year leavers, they could make him feel special too. Their goodbye ceremony could include him, in some way. Even if he isn’t given a graduation certificate he could still receive a goodbye certificate of some sort so that he feels included with the leavers group. As a manager I did this many times.
It could be very confusing and hurtful for him to leave him out of the leavers ‘ceremony’ … or whatever practise the nursery has.
All leavers should be acknowledged and thanked for their time there, no matter what reason for leaving.

However it is important that he realises that he won’t be with his mates in his new class at nursery school. It’s hard for him, given he may only be a few days younger, but he does need to know that he is going to the nursery class and they are going to reception class but he can still be friends with them and still have play dates. And he also needs to know that he will soon make new friends in his new class.
Maybe this is the point that the nursery are (clumsily) trying labour to you.

It is sad.

And it isn’t that things are “a big deal these days”. It’s that we actually give a shit about children now and have the research to know what’s best for their development.

Ahh, no. It’s lovely, and it marks the end of their nursery education and the beginning of primary. We made some good friends with other families when our kids were in nursery, and it was great to acknowledge and appreciate that journey together, and to recognise and applaud the staff who had done so much for us and our children. Ours was so warm and lighthearted, with funny stories and hugs, and then a party after. It was actually quite touching.

Of course it's not sad! I'm in my 60s and no fathers would have been seeing their kids to school - they were all at work, and wouldn't have dreamed of asking for time off. My Mum would have dropped me off and let me get on with it. Everything is such a big deal these days, back then it was just something you did without a song and dance. There was no nursery or kindergarten in my small town then, we were at home with Mum and then we went to school when we turned 5 (not the UK). All very non eventful.

This is wildly unhinged.

Your son won’t even know the difference if you don’t make a big deal out of it.

A nursery attached to a school isnt a better idea.. .they don't get the same funding and therefore don't have the best of stuff. They won't do anything different with him... his day will be very much play based. Their graduation from nursery tends to be alot smaller scaled too. You would have been best keeping him where he was as even the nursery class gets broken up into several reception classes they never put them all in the same class.

And this is how yet another entitled adult is made. We really don’t need any more of those. ‘Graduation’ from nursery? Dear me.

are the other kids in the leavers ceremony ones he's in the same class as? (I know in nursery there's not one specific class and kids staying/leaving can be in a different age range with other younger/older kids) If they are then this is just a bit mean and I agree jobsworthy - there is no 'rule' involved here, this is voluntary nursery so its not like you're asking a year 5 to join a year 6 leavers assembly - the kids wouldn't know one another and wouldn't have spent the last few years playing together etc. And to be fair, leavers assemblies are 'nice to do things' and not some mandated requirement - it would be 'nice' to include your son, they're choosing to make a point of NOT including him - I'd take it up with either the nursery manager or owners, its not unreasonable to show a little compassion and discretion here because, well he's a very small boy making a very big jump - these kind of lovely memories are the ones that form key memories for life (or not if he feels left out and miserable)

He is just moving nursery. He is just going from one nursery to another. I honestly cannot see what you are offended about! I also cannot believe that the nursery actually has a leavers do in the first place.

Go into mamma bear mode and fight this? Christ.

good example to set... scream shout and complain until you get your own way?

Sorry what?
You want everyone else to act out your delusion you are trying to sell your child.

In our school the Communion/Confirmation kids walk around to the other classes on the day they're in for their photos & the other kids who didn't partake are encouraged to come in to school for the couple of hours & join in the "fuss" some do, some don't but I think it's nice they're included, plus it's slightly different because it's all the one class, if that makes sense?

Daft is the word! I find it all rather sad that the staff have known this little boy for 3 years, so since he was tiny! And although he's leaving at the same time as other children they won't include him in their farewell events. It all sounds so oddly withholding, and a complete customer service/reputation fail.

I'm in Ireland, and every year around first holy communion time, there are Mums of children who have chosen not to make communion, wanting their children to be involved in photos and celebrations so they don't feel left out. Last year I heard of a Mum who put their daughter in the white dress so she wouldn't feel excluded 🙄.
Does everyone have to he included in everything?
How is anything a special occasion if it is just a free for all?
I honestly intend this in the least patronising way possible, but maybe you need to just look into yourself and think about what kind of person you want your child to be as an adult, and think about how trying to manipulate situations from such a young age is going to help or hinder him.

Yabu. It's a leavers thing for the children who are going to reception. If your child was staying at that nursery then he would get his turn next year. One of my children had a leavers thing at the end of preschool and the others didn't because I didn't send them to preschools that did that. I made the choice of which preschool to send my children to and so did you. The nursery your son will go to might do a leavers thing for him to attend next year but this one is not for your son.

I am really upset by this. What on earth could be the reason to exclude a small boy from these events

Because he is not going to school. Hence not being invited to the school leavers activities. Jesus wept.

It is the place to draw the line. It avoids other parents huffing 'well if you let that child go, why not my child' and such other moans.

I am thanking my lucky stars that the school I work in doesn’t have a preschool/nursery attached, so you won’t be one of the unreasonable parents I have to deal with.

He'll have his Leavers Party next year so try to let it go, it is a little bit mean but I suppose they might be thinking "Where do we draw the line?" especially if there's siblings in the same play school who also might feel "left out" if not included in their older brother/sisters "graduation"

Oh that's daft.

My DS was summer born and he stayed on an "extra" year at preschool (so he started reception age 5 instead of 4) and he attended the leavers presentation when he was 4 (because at that point we weren't 100% sure if he was leaving or not as we were in the process of deciding what the best thing to do was). Another little boy who was a September-born also attended, despite the fact he was 100% not leaving that year. The reason for this was that all his closest friends were leaving in the Sept (except my DS as it turns out in the end) and they didn't want him to feel left out.

It meant that my DS and this Sept-born boy both attended the leavers presentation twice. No one cared! It was what the preschool staff decided was best for the boys under the circumstances.

It's a little made up ceremony to celebrate the children FFS. Not a real bloody graduation.

I agree it's very jobsworthy not to let your son attend.