Jobs worth nursery??

And just to add on to what others are saying, in the school my children go to the pre-schoolers don’t have contact with those in Reception. They are in the building next to them and so probably physically see them at break times, but they have separate play grounds and don’t mix with each other.

Don’t you think your son will wonder why he’s not going to be with any of his friends seeing as you’ve given the impression he’s going to school like they are?

Effectively you are taking him away from a venue he’s familiar with, away from staff and children he already knows, to place him somewhere new where he won’t know anyone.

And you’re doing all this based on a lie too.

Fair enough move him if you are doing it for reasons other than him being with his friends, but you need to be honest with him that he isn’t starting school and he isn’t going to be seeing his friends or spending time with them either.

Also, unless it’s private and you are already registered, what are you going to do if your DC doesn’t get a place at the school he thinks he’s already attending

@MintFinch

We’re telling him he is going to school

You have decided to tell your child a lie (for no good reason)- that’s your choice but you can’t expect everyone else to alter reality to fit into it.

He isn’t going to school- he has another year of nursery pre school so the leavers activities aren’t appropriate for him.

Are you also expecting the new nursery to play along and pretend he is in reception for the next year?

Where is that going to end?!

You need to help your son deal with reality- his friends are older and going to school and he isn’t. If he is sad then teach him to process that.

We’re telling him he is going to school too

This a mistake. Don't lie to him He's not going to school. A nursery teacher or friend is likely to correct him at some point leading to confusion as to why mum has told him something different.

I think the current nursery could include him as a 'leaver' of the nursery but he's not going to school so I understand their point too.

YABU for “mumma bear mode” 🙄

Discrimination 😂

You’re being incredibly short-sighted moving him to another nursery because his friends are going to school there.

The reality is that once those children start reception and he’s still in nursery those friendships will have fizzled out by the end of the first week because they’ll all have made new friendship groups in their new school which he’s not going to be a part of.

Not just the autumn born children either. DS was a younger one and still was friends with many children in the year above, you are right though, they adjust.

Well this is quite an amusing thread to wake up to on a Monday morning 😂

So you’re lying to your child and telling him he’s starting school when he isn’t, and then you are getting annoyed because the nursery won’t go along with it?

And “mumma bear” ???? 😂

This has to be a case of “precious first born” 👍

But on a serious note, YABU. Get a grip, take a breath and tell your son he’s not starting school. You’re making a total drama over this when you really don’t need to. He’s 3!!!

I assume poster didn't like the answers .funny that when everyone doesn't just agree with them

This happens every year at nurseries - some children go off to reception whilst the Sept/Oct/Nov birthdays in the cohort don't. My DS is an October birthday so we made sure in advance that he had some friends also in that group. When leaving time came, we just said, "Some of your friends are going to school because of when their birthday is. You are going next year, and so are X, Y and Z friends ". He had new friends within a fortnight of the others leaving, which was better in the long run because these were the kids actually in his class in reception. There is no need to cushion your DS from this - in doing so you are likely to cause confusion for him.

Discrimination?
The ones going to school go to the leaver celebration
The ones carrying on with nursery education don't.
I'm not sure which bit you don't get here.

OP - you are seriously being a bit mad over this. When my first was little I didn't do this but I did do other things which were insane tbh.

Forget this. Don't lie about him going to school either. He will be really confused.

Focus on cultivating friendships and resilience at his new nursery.

BUT they're 4. Don't make all this into some massive all consuming thing.

Why are you telling him he is going to school? He is not going to school. You’re taking that away from him. His first day of school is a big deal, and you’re taking it away with your nonsense that a new nursery is his first day of school.

He isn’t leaving nursery to go to school, so he can’t join in the “graduation” activities. The other kids are all in the older year room, all known each other, the parents will know each other a little bit. It’s their time. Your kid has nothing to do with it. How dare you call the people who have cared for your son for three years “jobsworths.” And the momma bear nonsense? Jesus, you’re going to have to grow up because you’ve got years of education ahead of you and you can’t just demand what you want from teaching staff.

As is so often the case, the first reply is spot on.

@MintFinch YABU

Discrimination 😂

Also, is the school you're moving him to the only one in the area? Because if it isn't then you can't guarantee that's the school he'll be allocated even if he's in the nursery there.

This is all your doing by lying to your DS. Nursery don't need to pamper to your request

He will most lightly get his graduation next summer when he leaves preschool/kindergarten for reception.

I think it's more likely to confuse him if he's included. And I think lying to him about starting school is a bad idea, he's going to figure it out and better that he has time to process what is going on. Just call it pre-school rather than nursery if it helps.

DS was moved up to the pre school room early (with our consent) so spent two years there, because his speech was advanced, he's active and they had free flow into the forest area all day and most of his closest friends were older and going from 'tweens' (babies, toddlers, tweens, pre school) , also honestly I think he was getting too much for the younger room.
He didn't do all the leavers' stuff with his friends who went up a year before him, he did it before he actually went to school, that included a checklist of things to be school ready, writing and recognising his name, doing his own coat and shoes etc, your son isn't at that age yet. Also the ceremony with cap and gown is ridiculous, we didn't buy the photo even when it was his time, they're leaving nursery not graduating with a degree!
I think it's actually unkind that you're telling your son he's going to school too, he'll expect to be with his friends but he won't get be in the nursery and they'll actually be at school.

Also - starting school is a lovely milestone, don't rob him of it by faking it a year in advance. Going to nursery school in his big boy uniform etc can be exciting enough.

Oh my goodness no don't do that! He's too young to not get upset that he's not joining in

I also have a DC who would be off to school this September if she'd been born a week earlier.

I think you're projecting feelings of being left behind that his age group don't really feel tbh. DD has known all along that her friends go to nursery school this year because they're older, and that when she's 4 she'll go to nursery school and her friends will go to P1.

If you think the leavers activities will upset him, ask when the main ones are and book annual leave. But honestly, the nursery will be well used to the 3yos wanting to do what the 4yos are doing and I'm sure they'll be well able to handle it so everyone has fun.

Remember, your DC also has the advantage of starting school as the oldest rather than the youngest in the year, you can suck this up for the sake of it.

Having said all of that, I reckon if a parent asked this at our nursery, they probably would've agreed. They don't do leavers activities though so can't be sure.

I think it would be incredibly confusing for him to attend a big leaving do with his friends and then not go to school with his friends. I don't know why you're sending him to nursery at the school purely as his friends are starting school. He's young enough to cope with this if you don't make it a BIG MASSIVE THING.

It's doesn't matter, he won't remember it. Just let it go, you don't need the hassle x

Leavers' activities will be an afternoon with some kind of event like a picnic and then the pre-school age ones, the ones that are actually leaving for school will get a little ceremony with their name called out and a little certificate. Ours got a teddy with the nursery's logo on it. They got a trip out to a wildlife place a week or so before as well.

At ours they were separated all year anyway. There were 4 age rooms and the last one, the pre-school one was strictly done by age so the entire cohort moved on every year.