Jobs worth nursery??

Don't use words like inclusivity and discrimination. Those are POWERFUL words and completely not what is happening here. This isn't age discrimination.

You also don't need to "reframe it". It's not that big a thing. It just is what it is.

Not necessarily
My DD was September baby
At the younger end they move up more often than year groups based on development...so babies, then crawlers, then toddlers/walkers etc.
She was in top "pre-school" room for over 18 months. There were say 20-25 in that room and around 15 went to school the September a whole year before her, and she and others stayed, then more moved up from the younger room.
Some of those that went to school before her were only a month or two younger so had moved up pretty much with her the whole time previously.

Our nursery has one preschool room, that goes from the third birthday until they go to school. My DD was born just after the cut off for the school year, so she's been in the room since last July when she turned 3 and she'll be there until August 2025 when she will be 5. Most of her friends will leave this summer at 4.

Why would he feel left out? Nurseries have year group rooms. The room above his will be doing their leavers, but his room won’t. His peer group and friends won’t be doing any leavers stuff. They won’t even know about it. If he has been at the nursery for 3 years then he has already been there through 2 other leavers year groups… do you think he felt left out of those? No. Because it wasn’t his year group. His key worker and his nursery teachers won’t be involved in it. They’ll carry on doing the stuff for their age group.

He will only be turning 4 in September when he is switching to a different pre-school. He will turn 5 in September 2025, shortly after he actually starts school. The ones who are going to the leavers' event are older. They are already 4 or will be by 31 August 2024 and starting school this September.

(Unless OP is not in England and the age cut-off for starting school is different).

But saying he is nearly 5 is missing the point that he is in a younger academic year than the others and that is the only reason he isn't involved.

I totally get your point as well. He is almost 5 and going to his (hopefully) primary school....just to the nursery class attached.
I think it makes sense to call it school.
And that nursery may not do a "graduation" and he may well feel left out at his current nursery.
I would hope they would include him too.
But I don't think email is the way to resolve it.

Well done for considering the alternative opinions, understand disappointment if you would like him included but will make next year more special.

No idea why some recent posts act like you are not listening and in such an angry manner. Just have tune out the posts that aren't helpful.

Agreed! The terminology you're using about this rather mundane situation OP is ridiculous!

You don't like the response that's fine but gosh you need to tone down your posts, it's really not that big of a deal.

Our old nursery done a leavers afternoon for those leaving to start reception.

They don't do it for those going to school nursery.

You wouldn't make the same request if he was in school, the 'ceremony' is for kids moving up to big school, not another nursery. I don't see this as exclusionary, sorry.

Your son will get the leavers graduation next year from the nursery he's at then. I think it's fair enough really.

You need to start being honest with your son and tell him the truth. It's far better to be honest and deal with an upset child than lie to try and avoid upsetting them. In the long run they learn that you can't be trusted and can't deal with their emotions. It's making your life easier as you won't have to deal with an upset child (although I don't know what you think will happen when he inevitably realises) but it isn't good for him at all.

You still thought the nursery wasn't being inclusive and then, when told they were, went into a strop

What’s toxic is using words like discrimination and not inclusive when you are not facing anything discriminatory. Some people actually do. So grow up.

How is this not inclusive? Nursery graduations are for kids finishing nursery with all their nursery friends and saying goodbye as they leave for school. Your son isn’t doing that.

You are choosing to remove him from that nursery. That’s all. He isn’t going to school. He isn’t graduating. He isn’t a leaver. So why are you using words like discrimination and inclusion? Those words do not belong in this situation. Those are serious words, which really affect a lot of people. You are not being discreet against. It’s disgusting to pretend that you are.

And ‘it’s my first post’ as if that makes any difference to if you are BU

Ahhh the classic "I won't be coming back because everyone jumped on me" which really means "I don't like being called out for my unreasonable behaviour"

He isn't a school leaver. And unless you mean the nursery said he'd have to sit outside the hall whilst the rest of the nursery sang songs then he's not being excluded. He just presumably won't be included in the giving out of certificates part or whatever

It's not discrimination any more than being the July/August baby at 6th Form prom means you can't drink whilst the others are!

But why does it grate on you?

Presumably because Little Timmy has known Little Jimmy, Little Ellie and Little Maisie since they were in the baby room together. Now they're leaving at the same time to go to the same school (yes, different classes) and Jimmy, Ellie and Maisie will be made a fuss of and get the whole ceremony thing while Timmy just watches.

I know why the nursery are doing this - aside from anything else, Jimmy, Ellie and Maisie have aged out, whereas Timmy's parents have chosen to end the relationship and pay a year's less fees than would have been expected. But I understand why OP is concerned her son will feel left out.

We had this as DD2 was autumn born so did one year of an external preschool and then one year at the school nursery class. Her older siblings had both done either 2 years or 1 year at the preschool and then went straight into reception.

DD2 didn't do the 'graduation' ceremony they did and I don't remember being annoyed about it at all or her having any issues about it - it was just one of those things. The only thing I was sad in passing about was that one of the lovely preschool staff used to hand make all of the school leavers a cushion and I really treasured the ones for my older DC and DD2 didn't get one - I soon got over it though!

He isn't going to school though he's going to preschool he's just leaving his current childcare setting you are being precious and silly and you shouldn't have told your son he's going to "school".

So he can go to it then, he isn't excluded and he will be as involved as every other child who is not leaving to go to school.

What if you were leaving because you were moving area? Or because you no longer needed childcare at all? What if he was 6 months younger or a year and you were leaving? What's your self-created cut-off for including children in something not relevant to them in order not to "discriminate"?

I can see where you’re coming from OP.
Are his nursery friends going to the same school as the pre school he’s going to? If so, then I definitely think it’s important that he understands the difference in where they’ll be in September. It would be awful for him to think they were all going to be together.
If they’re all going to be in different places, then I think it’s fine to just say that him and his friends are all leaving, some going to school, and DS going to pre school.

As far as the leavers thing goes, I can see both sides. Nursery are being a bit petty, but equally it’s one of those “change it for one and then have to change it for everyone” situations.
I’d maybe keep him at home on the day of the leavers celebration, if you think he’ll find it upsetting and confusing. If that’s not possible then I wouldn’t worry about it, he won’t remember it for long.

They're doing this during the normal nursery day and they have to stay in ratio, so of course the other children in the room are going to be around when they practice.