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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Probably am but just wondering on others’ thoughts

38 replies

Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:17

Friendship group containing A, B and me. A and B used to live together before I came into the picture. A and I now live together. A went to a relatives for lunch yesterday and invited B along. I wasn’t invited.

Now I get that A may have introduced B to said relatives during the course of living together. But AIBU that it bloody hurt?

I wouldn’t have done the same and would have asked if I could bring along both but I know not everyone is the same. It has really hit a nerve.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 28/04/2024 22:33

Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:29

Yes think this is the case @tiggergoesbounce but even so I would have said to family hey do you mind if I bring an addition. Knowing my family they’d say of course. I think it’s one of those situations where I am hurt someone didn’t act in the way I would.

But they're not visiting your family?

Therefore they probably

A) Didn't want to take the piss

B) Wanted some healthy time apart with a friend, considering they live with you.

DoreenonTill8 · 28/04/2024 22:31

But yet you're annoyed they went to their family members house without you?

Original poster
Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:29

Definitely not enmeshed, do lots of things separately.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:29

Yes think this is the case @tiggergoesbounce but even so I would have said to family hey do you mind if I bring an addition. Knowing my family they’d say of course. I think it’s one of those situations where I am hurt someone didn’t act in the way I would.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 28/04/2024 22:29

Is no-one allowed a day out without you?

Assuming you're not glued together?

DoreenonTill8 · 28/04/2024 22:27

That sounds v enmeshed. Do you expect to be invited to everything A does? What's your relationship?

tiggergoesbounce · 28/04/2024 22:26

Do you know As family?

Maybe B knows the family from before you were around and they said bring B along we haven't seen them in a while.

Original poster
Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:26

@DoreenonTill8 I know but I would have asked all the same. I really wouldn’t leave someone out. Doesnt sit right.

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 28/04/2024 22:25

Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:23

@DoreenonTill8 because it’s the thoughtful thing to do? To be included?

To everything they do? It's someone else's home, they don't get to offer the invites!

Original poster
Ivedoneallthedumbthings · 28/04/2024 22:23

@DoreenonTill8 because it’s the thoughtful thing to do? To be included?

OP posts:
Kittenkitty · 28/04/2024 22:20

You’re not unreasonable to be hurt, but you would be unreasonable if you felt you should be invited. There’s lots of reasons why you might not have been asked, most of those reasons perfectly innocent.

KidsandKindness · 28/04/2024 22:20

I too am wondering what the relationship is OP?

DoreenonTill8 · 28/04/2024 22:19

This is flatmates? Maybe B already knows them? Why are you keen to go to a flatmates family thing?

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