To think most people don’t seem happy these days

Mental health problems across the population have risen hugely in the last 5-10 years, so yes, of course, we will all start to notice this.

It doesn't mean you can't be happy or no one is happy. But I think in the current climate it is harder for people to find/ create good lives for themselves than it used to be.

I think 2020/2021 emotionally exhausted too many people at once. In my case restrictions controlled most of my external social contact flipping my life on and off overnight. By January 2021 I was in a depression and existing my days away. By the spring as life slowly crept open again, the expanse of flat emotion continued. There were several big threads filled with people feeling the same, where the joy of life just hadn't pinged back. I spent 2020 fighting, made the most of what I could in the summer and that 12 hours notice that schools were closing again cracked something inside me.

It's not the only factor, but 2022 was not a year for healing with a flurry of funerals then children having health issues. Life was still erratic and unpredictable.

Many of my friends are in public services so they had the opposite time of being overworked and burned out and really it was 2023 before any of us had the social energy to emerge from the fug of survival mode. They've had their own issues too. At one point due to a friend's life-shit it took 3 weeks to be able to tell them about my family member's death because they weren't in a position to hear about my life-crap and their situation needed more action at that moment. Previously there seemed to be enough ups that someone could give more to someone else's down, whereas we all ended up down together.

Then there's the economy which has been various grades of shit for 15 years which is unusually long. Optomism was growing by 2019 but 2020 kicked that back for years.

Politics is depressing. I can't see any clear, realistic visions of life improving under any political direction at present. Politics and the economy isn't a uniquely British issue and many countries are having similar phases.

I shut the wars out. I hear news headlines, and read the odd thing of interest, but can't be doing with perma-crisis mode and 24hr reporting. The news is pretty monotonous, and I've been around long enough to see various cycles of war. News reporting used to be more factual.

My hormones are probably involved. I notice monthly patterns in my emotional state in recent years. I'm also prone to SAD and have had too few sunny bursts of energy in the past year.

Objectively my life is decent, I know and appreciate what I have, but somehow I lost a glow in recent years and am struggling to find that again and it's not for the want of trying. I miss it.

Also, what are we comparing it to? Our own youth and childhood? Or how we imagined other people felt in the past. Often looked back on with rose tinted glasses: "we were poor, had nothing, but were happy!" Or from films, tv and books that show all the nice bits and frequently have a happy ending?

Overall, I think it's impossible to judge or compare accurately.

The 20th century was pretty big on stressful times. Then the 21st century started off with 9/11. We had 7/7 just after we were awarded the Olympics. That led to fear and uncertainty and suspicion. Then we had the economic crash of 2008 which led to damage still reverberating ( imo). Then, in 2011, we had the killing of Mark Duggan, which led to mass riots all over the country. Next year was the Olympics and that didn't start off that well, with lots of people down on the idea (cost etc) and G4 security issues, armed forces having to fill seats on the first few days. Although it picked up.

Then all the rest!

Because a lot of people's lives are much harder than 10 years ago.

If you have waited a year for a consultants appointment for a chronic health issue, if you are fighting to get your SEND kid support in school or you are struggling to make your food budget last the month, then life doesn't feel like a picnic....

I agree with this. So much negativity and moaning. So many people with a 'fuck everybody else' attitude. I really should spend far less time on here because I do think it probably brings me down.

Sorry but you seem to saying that planes are making it rain by something other than their impact on climate change ?

I love a giggle in the morning

A few people have mentioned the positivity surrounding the 2012 Olympics - really? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one remembering the hospital beds with nurses dancing around as death hovered above them. A caricature of Boris in a bed ... ring a bell? If you've forgotten, go watch it on YouTube, you'll be shocked if you haven't already tied up connections with what started to happen March 2020. I'll say no more on that subject as the sheer amount of millions still hiding their heads in the sand is staggering.

We've had constant rain for the past 7 months (planes flying over backwards & forwards ✈️) and now surprise surpise they're talking about farmers crops failing ... food shortages. Anyone out there used to play dot to dot? Time to join the dots maybe. Constant rain, no sunlight (no coincidence) and without sunlight and vitamin D, a low mood in the general population is a certainty.

They've engineered inflation, terrified those susceptible with climate change fears, increased mortgage rates and rents to unsustainable levels. But people have to live somewhere, so have to find the money. Some have taken on 2nd and even 3rd jobs. I for one am only surprised it's not 100% of the population feeling devastatingly depressed and at the end of their tether, great efforts have been made to ensure that.

Teaching strange things to your children in school, finding out people in the govt. and the media are not what or who you thought they were.

Tesco, British Gas (to name just a few) making millions and millions in profit, incentives to stop farming were offered to farmers. Twenty mile an hour speed limits, Car insurance & petrol costs spiralling. LED lights blinding drivers whilst night driving, the streets being unsafe whilst the police presence seems to have disappeared (unless you don't pay your council tax of course and they appear to back-up bailiffs) or you make the wrong comment on the new Twitter. Pot holes everywhere.

And people wonder why the majority are feeling anxious and depressed. I'd say that's a step in the right direction. Maybe when the rest who are blindly not seeing all this finally do and they get depressed, that's when things will change because the people will decide that it's time to,change it all xx

I was just speaking to a friend the other day and we agreed that everything just feels 'flat'. I have a great life, no money worries, healthy etc, so if I'm noticing it then I really feel for those less fortunate than me. I think it's a mixture of Brexit, Covid, COL, doom and gloom politics and the weather. There just seems to be little joy and feel good stories atm.

It’s harder to access the drugs we need to support health, be it menopause meds or others due to the Brexit shortages

I'm not sure I agree with this. When my mum went through the menopause in the late 90s there were no meds to help her at all, menopause wasn't even talked about by anyone, let alone GPs. There was a hysteria about HRT causing cancer (now we know that study was flawed) and it was frowned upon by medical professionals. She had no support whatsoever and there was no internet to read up on it either, she felt very alone.

The difference now for people in this stage is that housing (and life in general) is so expensive, it’s harder to afford to split from an ex. It’s harder to access the drugs we need to support health, be it menopause meds or others due to the Brexit shortages. If you’re managing elderly parents, you’re also likely to be attempting to navigate broken health and social care systems.

There have always been recessions and wars- but think back over the last century- can you remember a time when it’s been so relentlessly shit, without a positive shift?

Since 9/11 we’ve had the economic crash, recession and austerity, the toxic Brexit vote, Covid with its vast fallout, 2 wars with British boots on the ground (Afghanistan & Iraq) along with others that have really threatened to spill over. All set against the backdrop of the climate emergency, and a conservative government that has decimated public services and allowed the housing market to run unchecked, to a point where the great conservative dream of home ownership for “all” is now predicated on inheriting or being given a substantial hand up.

And in all that time, we haven’t seen a period of sustained economic or social recovery and growth/rebuilding.

it’s been, frankly, a shocking start to the millennium.

I agree with this. I think it's the stage of life. I'm in my 40s and now know so many people who have died, are in the process of divorce or a midlife crisis, having to care for elderly parents in addition to young kids etc When we were in our 20s/30s we were much more carefree.

I think it's more to do with that than the current socio political climate. There have always been recessions and wars going on.

Definitely see it.

Although I'd say pre - tech rather than pre-Covid. So many people seem unable to cope and seem so troubled. I blame technology and social media much more than Covid.

I don't remember a time when lots of people were genuinely happy - I think this nostalgic idea of simpler, happier times is a bit idealistic. However, I agree with some PP that technology can play a significant part in exacerbating stress and anxiety.

It's true. Fb winds people up

I think parents don't seem happy. High living costs, 24h news and social media might have a lot to do with it. But I've never thought in general people seemed happy. We're designed to identify problems.

As a population we are constantly bombarded with doom and gloom through the media, constantly fed these "look how great my life is" lies through social media and everyone is living through a cost of living crisis. It's a difficult time. However we are also taught something is wrong if we are not happy 100% of the time which is a false narrative. Emotions obviously fluctuate and we are supposed to be able to regulate these in a healthy way and not many people know how.
Many people need help with some kind of therapy to help with emotional regulation but with waiting lists being massive they are put on medication and told to just hang on...
Then we are told our mental health services are crumbling.

I find mumsnet makes me less happy! It's effectively a giant magazine problem page (or, it is the way I use it, AIBU, relationships etc).

It's so easy to scroll the endlessly new stories. Before I know it I've filled my fresh morning brain with a cast of entertaining, yet essentially mean-spirited characters - CF neighbours, toxic school run mums, lazy bastard DHs, PIL who never help or care, people in all different jobs thinking they have it hardest....

It is a genuinely great site but I look at it too much.

I think age has something to do with it. I really miss the days when I could make my DC happy with an ice cream. or fix my mum's health issues.

Ok, so it’s good for you to beat the people that are down?

That’s ok then.

No, just those who live their lives like that and are miserable about it.

“So many people feel the need to tear down those who are happy to make themselves feel better.”

that’s exactly what you’ve done in this post

I am not comparing myself to anyone.
I compare myself to myself.

Ten years ago I was earning 10k less than I am now with 2 children requiring paid childcare. I had more disposable income then than I have now! I am glad my children are old enough to understand things are tight, if they were still small it would be much harder to explain why we can't have days out, new toys, new clothes, holidays etc.
I turned 40 last year so I am plenty old enough to remember the better times and things are objectively shit right now! I am also old enough to know that if you can hang on long enough they do eventually get better again.

I agree.

Less social interaction and a 'society'. I feel people are more isolated than ever despite living in a well connected world.

Financial people are facing a difficult time with increase inflation, interest rates, mortgages and cost of living. Job market is difficult and job losses are high and lots of job insecurity.

I think many feel trapped.