They have enough money I don’t need to pay them back?

I haven’t personally experienced this, but a close friend who’s a high earner told me that she has.

She once offered to treat a small group of friends to a meal and it became an expectation that she didn’t challenge as she didn’t want to make an issue of it. Until one time she went to the loo and returned to the table via a different route so they didn’t realize she was right behind them. They were talking about her and saying that they never offer to pay as “X can afford it.” When the bill came, she sat there and let them take care of it! Then she dropped them!

My family are exactly like this. Fuckers …. drives me up the wall. Dh doesn’t want to upset anyone 🫤 so says nothing.
i had a friend (past tense) who used to always forget their purse to pay for coffee 🤔 we’re not friends anymore.

Why is she asking post-holiday? When we come back from holiday, we tighten our belts and don’t have funds to loan out! 😂

No, he pressured me to do something I didn't want to do and then when it went wrong he held me responsible and used it to avoid paying a debt to someone else.

Its awful but I have had a few people do this to me - at times when I was struggling for money actually. It is really shitty and if anyone ever said that in my hearing, I would give them the biggest wide berth ever - these are not people you need to be around.

Not quite the same thing - but someone who would only pay if you asked her and even then, you had to ask more than once. And this is going to show you what a long grudge I have - this was someone I knew in my teens in the 70s! We used to go into the city for a night out and get a taxi home dropping each of us off in turn. I lived the furthest on the route (not by much) so I used to pay the fare and then we'd work out how much the others owed. There were four of us, and the other two ponied up immediately but not tightwad pants. I was going to write it off, but then one of the others told me that this person had said "I'll pay her if she asks, but not if she doesn't - why should I?"

I have never forgotten that - and just a few years ago I met her again at a wedding. Towards the end of the wedding people were dancing and socialising and she was sitting at the table near mine on her own and a waiter asked her if she would like a drink. She answered "Do we have to pay for it?" and when he said yes, she declined. I thought - you've not changed love.

I've seen it too, but the well off ones are the worst for paying too sometimes.

DH organises group meals each year for his mates around Christmas. Because it's a big group and it's Christmas, the restaurants usually charge a deposit.

DH tells his mates that they have to pay the deposit to him too, as some of them are flakey and are likely to back out too, so he doesn't want to be out of pocket, even though he can afford to be.

The lowest paid of the group are always the first to pay their deposit. There's one mate in the group that's the most well off by far and DH has to chase him over and over again to get the money. Yes, he can afford it, but so can they. Just because you're "wealthy" doesn't mean you should sub others.

Yes I think it’s more this way.
Well off people don’t think they have to pay their debts as it’s only £3.

If anyone ever asks for any amount ever again, tell them you're short as previous borrowers haven't paid you back. No ifs, not buts.

Ah got it thank you!

@exomoon I think in this instance the poster is using "spot me" in the sense of "paying for me" rather than just spotting her out and about.

Yes me

When I was in business I leant a driver £500 for a holiday interest free, when it came time to pay us back, he said the exact same phrase

What do you do? I just wouldn't pay.

I had to cut one or two people like that out. Absolutely pathetic behaviour and what is worse is that other people enable it and actually try to shame others into ponying up.

People who are in denial this happens live a very sheltered life. I’ve seen this a fair few times and it boils my piss.

This is precisely why my exh doesn’t pay child maintenance. He doesn’t pay because he says I have enough money and I don’t need it 😐

A little different, but I've moved swiftly on from someone I was getting to know, who seemed like a decent woman until I realised that she started crowdfunders every time she had a bill.

She made nearly a thousand more than she needed when her dog was sick and she crowdfunded for vet bills. And when her car broke down and needed major repairs she not only got the money for repairs by crowdfunding, but someone took pity on her and offered her their old car for free. It was worth nearly £6k. She's now crowdfunding for a holiday because she's had such a stressful time — and people are still giving her money.

My half sister (I used to call her sister) is like this.
her sons gf picked up some food for everyone as the place was near her work, everyone gave her money except for dear old sis “she earns £40k, she can afford to buy everyone dinner”
worst part is, she sees nothing wrong with this and said it in front of everyone including gf.

Just because someone appears to be "wealthy," it doesn't necessarily mean they are. A nice house in a good area and a nice car need paying for, they don't suddenly appear out of nowhere. Just because you have a nice holiday every year doesn't mean your rich. You have probably forgone other stuff to pay for it.
What people perceive is not necessarily the truth.
"Never a lender nor a borrower a be" was my Dad's favourite mantra and a very wise one!!

Yes

I loaned a small amount to a friend (£140) with endless promises of paying me back (to be fair,she had paid me back before with small amounts)

She then got pregnant to her cocklodger,waste of time boyfriend for the 3rd time and point blank refused to pay it back as 'Sharon and her dp are good earners and don't need it'

We do have more money,as we both work full time and she was on benefits

She promptly fucked off on holiday and I never spoke to her again

Last I heard,she's pregnant with another baby to the next cocklodger,waste of space boyfriend and is bleating on about how I don't need the money and she's a skint single mum

That money actually took a lot of saving and I do need it back but won't get it-I've been that single mum with no money but I didn't con anyone (I've heard she's done it more than once but just moves on when she gets busted)

Another friend owes me £15 (I've written it off but she won't get another penny) as she pleads poverty all the time but can afford crap like weed,treats and clothes but can't pay her bills

Their mental gymnastics on how they doesn't owe me the money they have borrowed has to be seen to be believed

I don’t understand why people say eg my sister made me pay. Noone can actually force you to show them your bank statements or go to the shop to buy them takeaways. Just don’t move! My parents drummed into us not to borrow or lend money (except mortgage me) and I think it’s excellent advice. Once got stung by student we helped with emergency accommodation for a year but eventually drover her to cash machine and said I needed the money NOW! Only time I have ever done this and never again.

Never borrowed and not paid back, but I have probably accepted 'don't worry it's on me' rather than insisting on paying my share for whatever it is we're doing (like a taxi) much more often from wealthy people

I was going to a family wedding and was trying to book a hotel near the venue. One of my relatives asked where I was staying and asked if I'd book them a room too. It was pay up front and I just knew (given his previous form) that if I paid, I'd never get the money back. There's a perception that I'm 'rich' which is not at all true. Having been burned a few times, I just laughed it off and said 'I'm not your secretary you know' and gave him the phone number so he could book his own. But this is the chap who comes to stay, accompanies us to the supermarket, puts bottles of wine in our trolley and then scarpers when we get to the till, leaving me to pay. If we order a takeaway, he disappears 'to the loo' when it's time to find a debit card etc.

I don't understand this way of thinking at all but I'm wise to it with this person in particular. I really like to be generous and help other people if I need to but not if they 'expect' it or make assumptions that I will pick up the tab.

I hate it when anyone makes a judgement about someone else's finances ("Oh you work full time, so you must be able to afford...")
I've come across the 'don't need to pay X back' attitude you mention, but more when I was younger (in my 20s, say) than now.

Never come across this in the way you are describing.

The closet I can think of is my team at work where there are people on different pay grades. There is a culture in the team of "no its okay" if somebody buys something. Eg if one of us but 3 coffees they will tell the other two people that they don't want the money. The general rule is we will insist if the person buying is a lesser pay grade and leave it if they are the same or higher.