Stupid family chat group

@Moonlane
That's exactly my point and how I feel

We don't talk or chat but very civil when we see & to be honest the pretence is exhausting & we have never had a confrontation.

Yes we don't talk etc but leaving me out was intentional & I see it as their own way to say we don't want you.

Y do I wanna be in group chat with people I don't get along with? Some are saying, I don't wanna be in a group chat with them because I would have archived it with very little interaction anyway. But the point is i am not exactly jumping for joy for not being added.

You don’t like them.

They don’t like you.

Why in god’s name would you want to be in their family gossip group when you don’t get on and you don’t chat? WhatsApp chats are often informally set up, people get added ad hoc and it’s not like issuing a formal invitation.

It would be different if you all got on tolerably well and useful information was being shared, say about Christmas plans or requests for birthday gifts. But a general family chat, when you don’t talk anyway?

Bullet dodged.

are you all married?

hmm. 3 sisters have a group chat. They added their partners and their brother. I do sort of get it

My DH doesn’t get in with my family at all. He has no desire whatsoever to be in a family WhatsApp group with them. I’m struggling to see why you don’t feel the same.

It sounds like they don't like you 😕 have you never got along with your DPs sisters? If you don't get along with them, not sure why you'd want to be in a WhatsApp group with them? I'd be glad that you don't have to interact with his family much and let him get on with it!

It's not a pointless comment.
As several of us have already said, we wouldn't expect, or want to be in any chat groups with people we don't get on with. That is a pretty normal way to feel, I'd have thought.

Why do ppl say these really pointless comments , as if its so odd op wouldn't be offended. The sisters don't talk to her, that's wrong. She's a family member too, why can't she be included? Why can't op expect to be included. I never liked my sil (bils wife) , we didn't speak much but i always included her in a grp chat or plans because she's a family member, that's what grown ups do.

You sound as bad as each other.

I would be grateful tbh.

You don't get on with them why would they create a group with you in it?

Its for them to chat

That is really insulting and hurtful. If your husband doesn't back you up on this then that tells you an awful lot about him.

Oh you should be happy. Family chat groups (by that I mean husbands family chat groups) are brain numbing and it's only awkward when you want to leave thanks to the flipping WhatsApp announcement.

Leave them to it, skip into the sunset and enjoy your freedom x

You've kind of answered your own question there.
If you don't speak, why would you expect to WhatsApp ?

Honestly you’re better off not being in a group with them.

Do you want to know the bullshit they are harping on about?

I have archived the in law family group I’m on, check it once a month or something, if anything is meant for me and I miss it I’m sure they’ll contact me

If you don’t get on then why would you want to be added?
i doubt you’re missing anything. Most chat groups like that are nonsense.

Are partners of the siblings in the group. I have a family whats up but it's just my parents and sister not my dbil or dh.... In fact it be strange if they were ..not sure they want to hear the silly things like I'm on number 2 bus and I need some beans when you next in the supermarket

oh god i couldnt think of anything worse.. but then me and my siblings fell out and i had to block most of them as it was getting ridiculous.

theres groups for everything now... we have a 'girls chat' for me and my daughters, we have a 'my children chat' which includes partners for my side of the family, we have a 'his children chat' which includes partners for his side of the family. we have a baby chat for his son and their new baby, we have a baby chat for my daughter and her pregnancy.

we simply cannot have 1 chat because they all fight and bicker and carry on like flipping 6 year olds!

There are 3 possible reasons.
1 is they haven't noticed (seems unlikely)
2 is they did notice but might just think you don't 'do' WhatsApp and don't want to be bothered by the notifications (there are lots of people who don't like these big groups)
3 is there is a back story you haven't told us about

But the real question is, if you found out about this 2 years ago, what did they say when you asked them about it ?

Is there history/backstory that points to any tension etc between you and them?

YANBU to be annoyed and upset but tbh family whatsapp groups are a right pain in the arse

Oh I have sooooo many questions!! We need more details OP. Like what did your partner say when this first happened? And have you never raised it with the group or some people in the group? It’s a really shitty thing to do, do you really have no idea why they did it?

Why? What reason was given?

Ouch. Yeah I'd wonder why DP hadn't added me. Are they all slagging you off?

I'm assuming there's some backstory about you being left out. Otherwise why haven't you just asked your partner to add you?

You're being pretty vague, it's hard to give an opinion.