Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Divorce Settlement

89 replies

DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 20:42

I am seeking legal advice but I was wondering if anyone could offer some knowledge if you’ve been through a similar situation.

My wife and I separated last year. She was the bread winner and could work from home as she is S.E so we decided I would take paternity leave and spent 11 months at home with our daughter. Only earning SSPL.

So I earn approx £20/ph working 34 hours per week and she can earn a minimum of £60 all the way up to £200/ph working 4 days.

She wants us to take a 50/50 split in the divorce application. But I believe this would be an unfair split.

We are going to co-parent our daughter 50% of the time each.

Does anyone know if she will be expected to contribute in anyway give what she earns in comparison to me, or have a general idea if going for more in the divorce is realistic and if so, what did people if you had a similar situation were you awarded/ and or agree with your spouse.

Thank you in advance for your help and advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:57

Cerialkiller · 28/04/2024 21:42

It isn't true that maintenance is never due when residency is split 50/50. If there is a significant difference in income then the higher paid parent may still owe money to the lower paid parent.

Thank you. I will take a look. It appears some think I'm trying to take what I wouldn't be entitled to because we have separated. I'm not. I just want it to be fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:56

boozeclues · 28/04/2024 21:38

It’s untrue that you won’t get maintenance, even if it’s 50/50 custody, I know 2 people who still pay child maintenance due to a very large wage difference.

You can use the CMA calculator to see what could potentially be awarded.

The main thing in the divorce is to understand;

  • how the home asset will be divided up, and what is in the best interests of the children when doing so
  • if you are splitting 50/50, how will childcare be paid for if you are both working full time
  • How everyday expenses will be paid for, shoes, clothes, uniforms, school trips, after school activities etc
  • how do you share the life admin for the children, who is responsible for doctors appointments, dentist, parents evening, rsvp’ing to a class mates party, making sure homework is done, etc etc

the last bullet is probably the most important. 50/50 is a share of the wellbeing of your children. They should not suffer by the choices the adults in their lives make.

Edited

Thank you. That's really helpful information.

I have been the 'house manager' of our home for 10 years. I've done almost 90% of the jobs to run it including arranging the bills, admin, cleaning. Organising and planning. Whilst working full time and trying to maintain my own health.

I will be the one that continues with the final point. It will be me that keeps our daughter's life organised. I've done it since she was born and support my wife to do it now for the sake of our daughter. The above has been some of the frustrations in our marriage and why it's broken down.

OP posts:
IDontFeelLikeCooking · 28/04/2024 21:54

Cerialkiller · 28/04/2024 21:42

It isn't true that maintenance is never due when residency is split 50/50. If there is a significant difference in income then the higher paid parent may still owe money to the lower paid parent.

This. Go online and run the numbers through the CMS calculator. Your wife may well have to pay you maintenance for your child even if care is shared equally.

The starting point in divorce is an equal division of assets and then you look at the section 25 factors to see whether there should be any deviation from 50/50. However, the paramount consideration must always be the housing needs of the child.

This means each parents mortgage capacity is relevant. By way of example :- if you each need a 2 bed house which in your area is £200,000.

If you have a mortgage borrowing capacity of £80,000 but your wife because of her greater earnings has a mortgage capacity of £120,000 this MAY see you awarded a higher percentage of matrimonial assets (60/40 rather than 50/50) if it meant you both could buy a property.

The court looks at overall fairness of outcome taking into account each of your needs in particular your need to provide a home for your child.

The above is obviously simplistic and you need to speak to a solicitor. If you live in a university town often law schools run free legal clinics that may be of some
help to you.

Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:51

PrimalOwl10 · 28/04/2024 21:37

I'm not suprised she's separated from you. You seem to think that due to her earning power your entitled to more. Like someone said your assets you've acurred are likely down to her, why should you get extra? Go out and retrain. It's not down your wife to fund your lifestyle anymore your no longer together.

They really aren't. The house we have and the value that's it's increased by is down to me. She didn't even paint one wall in the 8 years we've lived here. She also only just learnt where the mop bucket was and how to bleed a radiator last year. There have been times she wasn't working and I was. She moved into my house and reduced her outgoing by nearly £700. But yet you make the assumption that because I'm asking a genuine question about providing for my daughter that you've not surprised she left. You seem like a really decent human.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:48

Octavia64 · 28/04/2024 21:22

I divorced recently.

I was a teacher and earned approx 30k a year.

My ExH earned about 300k a year,

We had a 50:50 split of assets.

I'm sorry to hear that. That doesn't sound correct at all. I know you can't do much now but I think your solicitor really let you down here. Shock

OP posts:
Deargodletitgo · 28/04/2024 21:47

I got divorced a couple of years ago, shared custody so no maintenance paid to either parent. You'll be expected to find full time work, you may get a slightly bigger proportion of the estate, but not by much. I assume you are both young enough to have significant earning potential?

divorceadvice2 · 28/04/2024 21:43

@DinosaurCity
Section 25 Matrimonial Causes Act

(a)the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;

-That is the earning capacity of both parties.

Look at Section 25 Factors as this is what the court use.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 28/04/2024 21:42

Octavia64 · 28/04/2024 21:22

I divorced recently.

I was a teacher and earned approx 30k a year.

My ExH earned about 300k a year,

We had a 50:50 split of assets.

Jesus Christ. Your lawyer was shit. You’ve totally be screwed over.

@DinosaurCity they will take into account how much you can borrow etc in order to have a home and work out based on your earning potential you should defo push for more than half in your circumstances. I’d go for a clean break and rather than getting maintenance for yourself ( that would cease if you cohabited or got married again, gets as much as you can now from the assets.

Cerialkiller · 28/04/2024 21:42

It isn't true that maintenance is never due when residency is split 50/50. If there is a significant difference in income then the higher paid parent may still owe money to the lower paid parent.

PotatoPudding · 28/04/2024 21:40

DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:31

This is exactly the lack of understanding people are showing by implying that it's not my wife's responsibility, I'm really not trying to do this unfairly. I just want an outcome that reflects what our situation is. She earns much more than I do. I will have to live off the equity from the house sale and which will not last forever.

Show quote history

Your initial post was confusing and it did sound as if you were asking about spousal maintenance.

Also, you won’t be living off the equity from your house; you’ll be dipping into it, but you’ll be living off your salary of £35k a year.

boozeclues · 28/04/2024 21:38

It’s untrue that you won’t get maintenance, even if it’s 50/50 custody, I know 2 people who still pay child maintenance due to a very large wage difference.

You can use the CMA calculator to see what could potentially be awarded.

The main thing in the divorce is to understand;

  • how the home asset will be divided up, and what is in the best interests of the children when doing so
  • if you are splitting 50/50, how will childcare be paid for if you are both working full time
  • How everyday expenses will be paid for, shoes, clothes, uniforms, school trips, after school activities etc
  • how do you share the life admin for the children, who is responsible for doctors appointments, dentist, parents evening, rsvp’ing to a class mates party, making sure homework is done, etc etc

the last bullet is probably the most important. 50/50 is a share of the wellbeing of your children. They should not suffer by the choices the adults in their lives make.

PrimalOwl10 · 28/04/2024 21:37

I'm not suprised she's separated from you. You seem to think that due to her earning power your entitled to more. Like someone said your assets you've acurred are likely down to her, why should you get extra? Go out and retrain. It's not down your wife to fund your lifestyle anymore your no longer together.

Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:35

arethereanyleftatall · 28/04/2024 21:11

It doesn't sound like you sacrificed a career to be the sahp? Correct me if I'm wrong. That would make a difference. But if you haven't, then your ex earns her salary because she's worked for that, and you earn your salary that you work for. Why would she have to share it with an ex?

Another way of looking at it op, is if you have together accrued assets over ten years, whilst she's been putting in up to 10x what you have been putting in, then you are very very lucky to be getting 50%. You'd be no where near that if you hadn't been with her.

I initially put the £50k deposit down from the sale of my previous house sale. I've ran the home so she could build her business and supported her over the years with admin/ accounts/ driving her to places for work related purposes etc. I took a years leave so it wouldn't impact her business. I don't think I'm lucky to get 50%. It's the very least to what I'm entitled too to help raise our daughter adequately. But thank you for your input.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:31

divorceadvice2 · 28/04/2024 21:19

Section 25 Matrimonial Causes Act

(a)the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;

This is exactly the lack of understanding people are showing by implying that it's not my wife's responsibility, I'm really not trying to do this unfairly. I just want an outcome that reflects what our situation is. She earns much more than I do. I will have to live off the equity from the house sale and which will not last forever.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:28

divorceadvice2 · 28/04/2024 21:19

Section 25 Matrimonial Causes Act

(a)the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;

Thank you. Again really helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:28

Metrictum · 28/04/2024 21:17

So if you accept there won’t be spousal support you are questioning if you could receive a larger portion of the existing assets because your earning power is lower?

you would have to prove that your extended paternity leave impacted your earning power that is still ongoing which assuming your daughter in school age now I don’t think is likely.
You may also need to prove that your ex wife wanted you to take extended leave that was detrimental to your ongoing earning potential.

My sister in law tried this and her husband countered that he had always been willing to pay childcare so she could return to work and being a SAHM was her idea and she didn’t not come out of it well.

Not the same for us. My wife didn't want to take the leave as she is s.e and it would have impacted her business too much to take a leave off work for that length of time.

I stayed at home for 11 months as she didn't want our child in nursery before this age. So she can't argue that she offered or that we would jointly pay for nursery fees so I could return to work.

OP posts:
Metrictum · 28/04/2024 21:27

Yes I think the court will consider that it’s up to you to increase your earning power to obtain the lifestyle you want unless you can show that this is not possible for some reason.

Octavia64 · 28/04/2024 21:22

I divorced recently.

I was a teacher and earned approx 30k a year.

My ExH earned about 300k a year,

We had a 50:50 split of assets.

Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:21

thanKyouaIMee · 28/04/2024 21:11

@DinosaurCity

Not mine personally but a close family members, yes.

Starting point was 50/50 asset split. They ended up with more due to ex earning much more (and having spent some time limiting their earnings to pick things up around the home). Think it was more like 65/35 split of equity / pensions / savings etc.

Post divorce / financials being agreed there is no ongoing support - this is (from my understanding) totally normal. The split of assets is the end point of being financially linked if doing 50/50 childcare, which they do, so no child maintenance.

Hi, I'm not asking for ongoing payment. I know I'm not entitled to that of child maintenance . This situation sounds similar to mine and there appears to be a higher split in favour of the lower earner. I'm not asking for more to leave us both in a difficult situation. I want us both to be able to provide for our daughter. But my ex partner does have the much better earning capacity than I do.

OP posts:
divorceadvice2 · 28/04/2024 21:19

Section 25 Matrimonial Causes Act

(a)the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;

Metrictum · 28/04/2024 21:17

So if you accept there won’t be spousal support you are questioning if you could receive a larger portion of the existing assets because your earning power is lower?

you would have to prove that your extended paternity leave impacted your earning power that is still ongoing which assuming your daughter in school age now I don’t think is likely.
You may also need to prove that your ex wife wanted you to take extended leave that was detrimental to your ongoing earning potential.

My sister in law tried this and her husband countered that he had always been willing to pay childcare so she could return to work and being a SAHM was her idea and she didn’t not come out of it well.

Original poster
DinosaurCity · 28/04/2024 21:13

AnsaDivorceSettlement · 28/04/2024 21:08

@DinosaurCity

Use Section 25 Factors to work out the split as this is what the court use. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25

First there full financial disclosure.
Look at Form E. Both parties complete one, attach documents and exchange. This includes income and assets e.g. savings, stocks and shares, pensions, and property etc. It is a legal requirement to exchange full and frank disclosure.
The assets are valued e.g. property by surveyor or estate agents, for pensions the providers send a cash equivalent transfer value on request, and parties can use an actuary to do a pension on divorce report showing what a 50/50 or other percentage split would be in capital and income.
Once all assets are disclosed and valued, negotiations can happen. Section 25 Factors are used to decide the split. A mediator can be used if appropriate (not if domestic abuse is a factor for example).

More info here:
https://www.advicenow.org.uk/divorce-and-separation

Thank you, that secretion 25 form is really helpful. I think some people are commenting without fully understanding the process. Someone has said that they won't take into account potential income, which this states it does.

OP posts:
thanKyouaIMee · 28/04/2024 21:11

@DinosaurCity

Not mine personally but a close family members, yes.

Starting point was 50/50 asset split. They ended up with more due to ex earning much more (and having spent some time limiting their earnings to pick things up around the home). Think it was more like 65/35 split of equity / pensions / savings etc.

Post divorce / financials being agreed there is no ongoing support - this is (from my understanding) totally normal. The split of assets is the end point of being financially linked if doing 50/50 childcare, which they do, so no child maintenance.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/04/2024 21:11

It doesn't sound like you sacrificed a career to be the sahp? Correct me if I'm wrong. That would make a difference. But if you haven't, then your ex earns her salary because she's worked for that, and you earn your salary that you work for. Why would she have to share it with an ex?

Another way of looking at it op, is if you have together accrued assets over ten years, whilst she's been putting in up to 10x what you have been putting in, then you are very very lucky to be getting 50%. You'd be no where near that if you hadn't been with her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread