Divorce Settlement

' I will have to live off the equity from the house sale '

no, you don't.

it will be expected that you use your share of that equity to put a roof over your head.

and you are expected to put food on your plate from working.

You can now add patronising to the list.

@Quitelikeit its highly unlikely a judge will sign a mesher if child is still very young.

they will much more likely seek a clean break, especiallly if op can’t pay mortgage and bills himself as this ties ex to the home impacting her ability to mortgage etc. its usually reserved as last resort or if children have one or two years left at school ( eg 16 yr olds)
)

Put very simply, what matters is

Full and frank disclosure - Form E
Application of Section 25 Factors
Getting legal advice
Making an agreement where possible / The court's decision

https://www.advicenow.org.uk/divorce-and-separation

Do take care of yourself and put your energy into the process.

I feel like you're getting a bashing here just because you're the male in this situation and not the female. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say that I hope things work out well for you all. The most important person in this situation is your child, and ensuring that they're loved and cared for.

She’ll be handing over 20% of that to HMRC for VAT.

Unless you ex earns a high salary (100k plus) and you can demonstrate you’ve taken a long term hit to your income as a direct result of raising children for a long term you won’t get spoousal support.

if you do, it will be limited and short term time bound

split of assets will depend in what’s available / both of you housing yourselves and child ( doesn’t have to be mortgaged can be rented/both your incomes AND earning potentiAl

yiu may ( or not) get slightly higher equity but this is not guaranteed. What pension are there ?

Something to think about (having been through the process) If you agree to the 50/50 split of assets you exw is proposing, there will be no legal fees. If you choose to fight it, whatever you may gain, may go on legal fees. It is unlikely you will get more than 55% in this scenario. It's takes a lot of evidence to move things from the 50% mark, usually illness or disability.

I would have let a judge decide on this one!

Seems like your standard of living will drop dramatically

As she is the higher earner then of course you will be entitled to a bigger share of things such as her pension and the proceeds from the sale of the family home. If she can earn 200 an hour the judge could have even let you stay in the family home until your child reached 18yrs

It was a mistake handing over 50pc care because now you will not get child maintenance or benefits such as child benefit etc

Why have you agreed to sell the house? Can you afford another?

Honestly, OP, you are coming across as very grabby and quite immature. You don’t earn a shit salary; you just don’t earn as much as your wife and you don’t work what most people would consider full-time hours. You won’t be destitute if it goes 50/50; you just won’t have the same disposable income as you have now.

When my ex husband and I decided to try out 50/50, I continued to receive the same amount of maintenance. The reasons for this were due to me having to work part time around his hours and also as we didn’t want our DD’s lifestyle to change in anyway. On top of this they would contribute towards uniforms ect. This has all changed now but our focus was always putting our DD first.

I earn more than my ex. We split assets 50:50. To be fair I put more into the assets given my higher earnings, so he effectively 'did well' in that sense. It was me who took the mat leave and went down to part time hours.

I think there is more weight if you can evidence an impact on your career as a result of having taken reduced hours or given up work. But usually if the child is quite young this is unlikely.

If she’s self employed she’ll probably hide her money and screw you (that’s what happened to both my closest friends). One got £120k then 2 years later her ex magically sold one of his businesses for £2.2million. He was pleading poverty previously having taken out loads of loans to “support the business”. It was all a game. She couldn’t afford the solicitor to fight him and didn’t know quite how much his businesses were really worth. Good luck - lawyer up.

She didn't even paint one wall in the 8 years we've lived here. She also only just learnt where the mop bucket was and how to bleed a radiator last year

And there it is.

She was too busy earning the megabucks to keep you and your daughter in the lifestyle you have become accustomed to and seem to think you are entitled to live even though you're divorcing.

Get yourself into a position where you can apply for a job that pays more.

You won’t get more because you’ve done ‘life admin’ for years!

so you took 11 months paternity? That won’t materially impact your earning ability! What did you do before and why can’t you return to it?

no one here knows what the split will be as it will depend on what assets are available but you will be assessed on needs, and your earning ability - so what was that 11 months ago? The fact you took 11 months leave won’t materially impact the overall split

what split are you expecting and why can’t you return full time ?

You can’t get annoyed at people for assuming you bought your home together when you didn’t mention in your original post that you already owned it. If this is the case, the split may be 50/50, although you should have protected your existing equity prior to getting married or putting your wife’s name on the deeds.