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Original poster

To still bath with Dd now she’s 7

113 replies

Cadela · 28/04/2024 20:35

I’ve just been on the phone to my friend after putting Dd to bed. Was just chatting about our days and said Dd and I had had a bath together this afternoon (usual Sunday routine, showers during the week) and she was horrified.

Am I mad in thinking this is completely fine? I’ve said to Dd do you want to have a bath first and not with me and she has always said no but I’m second guessing myself now.

It’s just us here so we’re a very naked family, Dd sits with me whilst I get dressed and obviously I still help her get dressed when she needs it but now I’m overthinking.

OP posts:
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NPET · 07/08/2024 12:37

I think it depends on your "norm". Obviously a boy or man shouldn't see or bathe with a girl of any age, but the "all girls together" rule can apply at any age - provided she's happy about it.

liveforsummer · 29/04/2024 17:24

It's fine - it wouldn't be for me for a multitude of reasons and I'm not sure why you need to help a 7 year old dress (assuming no asn) by it's all entirely up to you. Just make sure you're giving her plenty opportunity to stop. The DG having baths with his 9 and 11 yo though- wtf!!! If my 11 year old came home and told me she'd shared a bath with her dad at the weekend (separated) I'd be stopping contact and consulting SS

Tourmalines · 29/04/2024 13:46

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 13:35

Well it was not "obvious" to Me, hence I asked !!

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😬

CammyChameleon · 29/04/2024 13:39

I wouldn't care at all if I were your friend, must say though, are you tiny or is your bath really nice and big? I can't imagine finding it relaxing to be in my bathtub with my five year old!

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 13:36

Freakinfraser · 29/04/2024 12:56

She specially said they all squish in together.

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I missed that bit

Thanks for answering in a decent manner .

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 13:35

Tourmalines · 29/04/2024 13:11

It’s quite obvious what she meant, especially in response to ops question which is about bathing with kids . Daddy squashes in with the girls . Totally wrong .

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Well it was not "obvious" to Me, hence I asked !!

Tourmalines · 29/04/2024 13:11

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 12:48

Re the poster who mentioned a "Daddy bath"

I find it a bit Iffy like a lot of PPs but did the poster mean Daddy was in there too, or just that He likes a deep bath with lots of water so the kids went in alone in a fully filled "Daddy Bath" ?

It’s quite obvious what she meant, especially in response to ops question which is about bathing with kids . Daddy squashes in with the girls . Totally wrong .

RedBananas12 · 29/04/2024 13:03

Mumaway · 28/04/2024 21:02

My DDs love 'daddy bath' where they all squash in together and have it filled right to the top. They ask for it regularly. I hate baths, and I especially hate baths with other people, so there's no mummy bath. We're just about to move to a house with a massive retro corner bath, so I imagine they'll love that. They're 9 and 11. It will stop when they don't want it anymore, which I can't imagine is too far away.

9 and 11 year old bathing with Dad. I really don't think there is anything normal about that.

I don't understand the need to bathe with kids?

PeachBlossom1234 · 29/04/2024 12:57

Me and my DD are the same, just the two of us and she loves our baths together - I have stopped it happening as much recently (mainly because now she's a bit bigger I can do chores while she's in the bath) but she will ask me to get in with her every single time.....I think it's fine, don't worry

Freakinfraser · 29/04/2024 12:56

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 12:48

Re the poster who mentioned a "Daddy bath"

I find it a bit Iffy like a lot of PPs but did the poster mean Daddy was in there too, or just that He likes a deep bath with lots of water so the kids went in alone in a fully filled "Daddy Bath" ?

She specially said they all squish in together.

Trinity65 · 29/04/2024 12:48

Re the poster who mentioned a "Daddy bath"

I find it a bit Iffy like a lot of PPs but did the poster mean Daddy was in there too, or just that He likes a deep bath with lots of water so the kids went in alone in a fully filled "Daddy Bath" ?

BurbageBrook · 29/04/2024 12:44

Ok the poster with the DH bathing with an 11yo girl... sorry but that is completely wrong 🤢

BurbageBrook · 29/04/2024 12:41

Not weird at all IMO. Pre puberty it's fine I think.

Freakinfraser · 29/04/2024 12:40

Hereyoume · 29/04/2024 10:36

So, a mother can be naked with her DC but a father can't?

Guessing none of you have ever been to the EU then.

Christ, if you went to Germany you would have a coronary.

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I also responded at 7 the child should be now given privacy from her mother. But no I don’t think at 11 a man or a woman should be having a small bath naked at home with their child. And no they don’t do that in Germany.

NashvilleQueen · 29/04/2024 12:39

An 11 yr old uses the phrase 'daddy bath'? Like she's a toddler?

If this is true then it needs to stop and you and your husband need to think about appropriate boundaries.

I am afraid that I always think this 'we are cool with nakedness' is entirely one sided and that most children in such a situation never repeat it when they themselves become parents.

ManchesterLu · 29/04/2024 12:33

I don't think there's anything wrong or concerning about it, but I do think at 7 they should be learning to look after themselves and wash themselves without prompting in the bath. You raise them so they can live adult lives, and letting them do things for themselves as soon as they're safe and able is a big part of that.

MrsSlocombesCat · 29/04/2024 12:31

Hotchocolateand5marshmellows · 28/04/2024 22:57

11?? I had pubic hair at that age.

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Me too and I started my period at 11.

Pookerrod · 29/04/2024 12:26

You won’t get a consensus on this, OP. People have wildly differing views.

We are a “naked” family and both me and DH come from “naked” families. My kids bathed with me until quite late, until their bodies started changing I guess, but both still come into the bathroom to chat with me often when I’m having a bath.

On the other hand, my best friend told me that neither of her kids has ever seen either her or her DH naked. Not even when they were tiny.

Mary46 · 29/04/2024 12:24

No not appropriate at ages 9 and 11. The mother should not be encouraging it either.

Hereyoume · 29/04/2024 12:06

Comedycook · 29/04/2024 10:42

Our children are no safer with women

I think you'll find men commit sexual/violent crimes at a far higher rate than women do

That's not to say all women are safe people to be around and all men are dangerous to be around but statistically men are more of a danger.

🙄

2024istheyearforme · 29/04/2024 12:00

If all the same bits I don't see the issue with it...

Peonies12 · 29/04/2024 11:12

As long as she wants to, and understands she can have privacy whenever she wants it, I can't see a problem.

Sweetheart7 · 29/04/2024 11:11

I think what people are pointing out OP is there's a huge difference between dressing and together in the same room. As girls and then there's bathing together! Isn't it a squash in the bath??

I also think you can start letting DD dress herself now at 7.

Babaquestions · 29/04/2024 11:10

Hereyoume · 29/04/2024 10:36

So, a mother can be naked with her DC but a father can't?

Guessing none of you have ever been to the EU then.

Christ, if you went to Germany you would have a coronary.

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There's a big difference between a dad helping to dress his 3 year old daughter versus sharing a bath with his naked 11 year old daughter who's going through puberty.

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 29/04/2024 11:05

It's absolutely fine!!

I don't bath with my two only because it's too cold and they wee in it 🤣