To think I can hide this?

The spa day sounds hugely stressful, pregnant or not. I'd honestly concoct a stomach bug on the day.

@Itstimeforbaileys congratulations on the pregnancy & good luck with the scan

Just to make you aware when I've been on a spa day the whole group filled out a health questionnaire all sat together (including asking about pregnancy) and then a member of staff came and discussed any health issues that may cause problems (such as blood pressure, medication) there at the table in front of the rest of the group. You may want to call ahead & explain your situation just in case.

Surely though, a spa day is a waste as you can't participate in things like the jacuzzi, steam room or other heated treatments. You also have to be so careful about the massage, facial therapy options and even aromatherapy oils.

Please check whether this place have any treatments specified as suitable for you in pregnancy, but tbh I'd be cancelling it and absolutely not risking it when you're already naturally worried about the health of you and the baby.

Don't waste money on a fancy swimsuit, offer your apologies and cancel.

I am hugely sorry for tour loss. You will not be able to hide your pregnancy from your mother at the spa. Trying to do so will cause immense stress. And will be fruitless.

It is a clear choice; tell your DM in advance or find an excuse not to go to the spa.

What’s your budget for a dress, @Itstimeforbaileys ? And congratulations.

I reckon in the staggered treatment situation you describe, you’ll be ok. But I would call the spa and tell them a) you are pregnant and b) not to tell anyone. I did something similar for a nice meal that was pre-booked (tasting menu, so I knew I couldn’t just pick “safe” options) and they were so, so discreet.

You can have facials, body scrubs, head massage, hand and foot massage etc. it of course you will have to let them know you are pregnant. I had a pregnancy massage once, they might offer this but it risks them announcing it when they call you in 😬

1. tell everyone you have just got over D&V and although only just 48 hours clear you don’t want to risk contamination.
2. you suffer with low blood pressure and dr has advised not getting to hot due to fainting risk.
3. Have an open and honest conversation with your relatives and tell them that you can’t take on their worry so would they please not comment until the scan

I’m so glad my mother wouldn’t ask - you just don’t ask if people are pregnant because if they want you to know they will tell you when they are ready. Which might not be earlier in the pregnancy for many reasons that are nobody’s business.

Anyone who would put their own hurt feelings before that of OP who has previously had to terminate a wanted pregnancy would be an absolute arse.

I didn’t tell anyone apart from DH and my line manger until well after the 20 week scan and everyone was just excited for us.

Hope all goes well @Itstimeforbaileys but maybe it’s not time for Baileys!

Re the swim costume - I think it just depends on how fast you show. I still only looked a bit bloated at 20w . I'm 28 weeks now and still only just beginning to obviously show when dressed normally. I was a size 6-8 to begin with too so it's just a case of having a teeny bump

As others have said tho you will probably struggle hiding the amount of treatments you can't have! You might have to consider telling dm and mil in confidence if you are determined to go

My bump was non existent til 25 weeks with my first pregnancy and 22 weeks with my second. My stomach was completely flat and then popped virtually overnight, so it’s perfectly possible that no one will notice. At the spa, I’d just say I wasn’t feeling to well if I was you to avoid lots of treatments. They may suspect, but with your past loss, I doubt they’ll mention anything. A loose flowing dress for the wedding.

The spa is just too risky for it to be obvious OP due to both you avoiding the jacuzzi and saunas etc and the bump.
So if your mum does twig and asks you directly on the day will you lie?

The fact that you can't use most of the spa facilities is going to give this away more than any clothing choice.

I hid mine until 20 weeks OP but not in a swimsuit! Good luck, you’ll have to wear costume underneath and dive in the pool as fast as you can 🤣 take a floater?
I don’t think you can go swimming, maybe get some treatments and avoid the pool!

Congratulations and good luck!

Some of the treatments you won’t be able to do. The spa I went to it was one of the questions asked for this reason.
A pregnancy bump is very different to a bloated tummy, a swimming costume will give you away straight away.
I would cancel and pretend you are unwell.

Honestly OP it will be impossible at a spa for all the reasons pp have said. You'll have to declare it to the spa and not do a lot of the activities so it will be obvious. I'd claim illness for that one and just tell your mum and if she doesn't want to go then that's okay.

Wedding you can wear a floaty dress - easy to hide if you don't drink usually!

Is the spa day your SIL's hen do?

If so she's going to be a bit annoyed if everyone spends the day gossiping about whether you're pregnant.

Personally I'd book a private scan and tell your family before the spa.
There's no way you'll be able to hide it there as you have to declare it in forms and can't use a lot of the facilities.
I wouldn't want a very special moment ruined.
I think they could even be a bit hurt you've kept it quiet so long.
You'll probably even enjoy yourself so much more at both the spa and wedding if it's out in the open.

You won't hide it at the spa - I'd develop a 'tummy bug' on the day and cry off.

Congratulations by the way 🍼

You need a dose of Covid/D&V (D&V's easier, it can be a 24hr bug) on the morning of the spa day. As PPs have said, it's not just about whether the bump shows. And you certainly don't want to risk the baby's health by not letting on and using all the facilities. That would defeat the reason you're keeping it to yourself.

It's not the bump I'd worry about. You can't go in a hot tub, sauna or steam room or have a massage. How are you going to hide that?

Bump wise, wear the robe when not in the pool, and no one sees your belly under water.