To think I can hide this?

they always ask at Spas if you are pregnant! For health and safety reasons

You cannot hide it at a spa day

I think what would concern me about this plan is that you are not just trying to hide it from your mother and SIL, it's the rest of the group as well. Can you really be sure that not one of them will clock it and say something?

Hmm don’t think it’s a good idea to go to the spa day as someone is likely to notice your pregnancy when you are in a swimsuit. In your situation I would be thinking of a way out of it.
The wedding is easier … how about a maxi dress? A cousin of mine wore one with halter neck which disguised her pregnancy at that stage and fitted later on too. Or another outfit which has a top which does not reveal your bump.

Have you looked into booking a private scan that you could have this week?

Is a tummy control costume a good idea? I don't think I would have wanted something pulling my tum in at 20 weeks - it's not as if the bump is down to fat which can be held in, after all. Maybe go for a tankini?

No advice on swimsuits but I hope all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy.

Could you say that you had a special treatment on your hair and it will turn green if you do sauna, steam room or jacuzzi?
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

You could fake D and V and that would mean you can’t use the spa facilities like the hot tub and sauna etc. just lie on a couch reading.

I do feel for you and wish you all the best.

But I must point out that the black swimsuit with the ruffled front linked upthread is the most obvious thing I've ever seen. It would be more subtle to buy one that has I'M TRYING TO HIDE MY STOMACH printed on it in neon with sparkles. Possibly even flashing lights.

But of a tangent, but I’m quite shocked at your medical treatment after your previous pregnancy, you should have have so much more attention! I would certain call fetal medicine direct - fully explain and see what they say

Your dm not “smile” (don’t know how that happened)

Given the stress - I think I’d cancel the spa. If you’ve already paid up, I’d be “unwell” a couple of days before and then have an upset stomach on the day. It sounds like a hen do so there’s a real risk of someone wanting to get all the hens in the hot tub together for a photo or someone saying something.

you won’t enjoy it and it’s not like you can keep your mum company all day anyway as you can’t join in with the heat.

id use the money on a private scan rather than expensive swimsuit /dress if you can’t get an early NHS one. Private scans are around £100-150.

I’m just surprised your smile doesn’t already know…mine can tell just by looking at my face in the first few months 😂😂

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Woman’s boobs and face look different during pregnancy. I used to pick the next pregnant woman at work usually based on these changes - I really think you will struggle in the spa

Why the big secret???

I've always hated steam rooms and heated treatments, similarly nails, hair and massages so I'm notnin any room to give advice but I'd throw a sickie.

The advice is that a significant rise in core temperature might be damaging for a pregnancy.

It doesn't mean everyone is going to be affected by it, just the same as some people smoke/ drink throughout pregnancy and have no ill effects.

It's still generally advised against.

You'd probably be fine to go in for 10 minutes but if you sit in a hot sauna/ jacuzzi for an hour, it's going to raise your body temperature quite significantly, and a developing embryo/ foetus is going to be a lot more sensitive to that than your fully grown adult body.

Everyone decides for themselves I guess, personally I would just avoid it because why do it if the advice is generally not to? Pregnancy is only 9 months of your life.

Is that something you'd normally wear?

If not, it's pretty obvious that you are wearing it to hide your stomach. If anything I think it draws more attention to the fact that you might be pregnant.

To be honest I would either cancel the spa day or accept that people are going to work it out.

Preparing to get flamed and also can understand if you will want to take all precautions possible but it’s not that bad to use the sauna or jacuzzi.
Im not in the UK and during both pregnancies I used the sauna and jacuzzi twice a week right up until giving birth. I had terrible muscle aches and my doctor actually suggested it. My doctor told me, if you feel unwell, get out. I’m sure in the UK spas have insurance issues etc. and I’m not suggesting you get in just to appease your relatives. However the baby boiling is not really a thing. Otherwise I wouldn’t have two healthy kids running around asking for breakfast right now.

I would not go to the spa day. I didn't tell work I was pregnant until 18 weeks but by then it was fairly obvious. It happens overnight - you just look pregnant.
The wedding would be easier to conceal and hopefully if people do guess you may find they are tactful and don't ask.

Better tell them now 3 weeks from the wedding than have it come out on the day. Don't make a big drama of it. Just say your pregnant..happiness all round..and then back to the wedding. No harm done.

I think you need to quietly tell your mother. Let her know the reason you don’t want a big fuss. And ask her to keep it to herself for just a couple more weeks.

Agree with others, spa day will be difficult and stressful. There is a big risk the staff will give you away inadvertently. But also if it's your SILs hen do you might end up really upsetting her if you appear to act all diva-ish rejecting certain activities or not properly joining in without them understanding the true reason.
i went on a casual family spa day just after discovering I was pregnant with my first. I thought I'd be able to get away with it. As soon as I turned up the others excitedly told me they'd booked a 'fun' fitness activity which i didnt at all feel comfortable doing. Then I couldn't use any of the facilities - hot tub, sauna, steam rooms which everyone was going in together.
is there any way you could at least tell your mum so she might be able to help you will cover stories etc? And you could still try to attend? If this really is a no go, then as others say, I really would advise just pulling a sicky and missing the spa day completely.