Feel like it's so hard to find anyone even at 33

However I will say that a mistake almost all my eternally-dating friends make is that if they get along with someone but there's no chemistry, they consider that a failure and never see the other person again. Whereas they should see them as a decent person and a good friend - through whom you will meet more people, and your perfect partner might be among them.

Finding a partner is about expanding your social circle, taking up invitations and meeting more and more people. And it's even more important to expand your social circle to members of the opposite sex.

It is hard to find someone truly right for you. That's probably a good thing. Even just among the many men I've been attracted to and the many men who I've liked enough to be friends with, I think I would have been genuinely compatible in a romantic way with maybe 2 or 3 of them. The idea of meeting potential good partners for me all the time is a little exhausting!

When you're younger you're still a bit hazy on what real compatibility is and can mistake it for someone you just fancy or get along with. When you're older you have a much clearer idea of what you want and also what you can't live with. Again this is a good thing.

Bit of an aside but I think it's funny you say you're hardly looking for Brad Pitt types and the say you date plenty of men who are 5"10...that's quite a tall lower limit and while I'm not advocating for no standards, suggests to me you are actually going for the type of man every other woman wants, I would imagine that's most women's preferred height... If you set 5"7 as a minimum that would be different....anyway.

Dating is basically a numbers game, you have to really commit to it, get out on dates and meet as many men as you can, in person. Don't waste ages chatting online. You'll likely meet someone sooner or later but (unless you're lucky) you might need to go on a lot of failed dates first.

The thing is, most relationships in your 20s do not last. I can hardly think of anyone who met their partner at uni and they're still together now.

Really? Pretty much everyone i know met their husband/wife either at uni or on a graduate training program after it.

Wow you sound utterly ghastly as well as talking absolute shite

Totally agree with posters that it's a numbers game!

You've just got to keep at it and treat it like a part time job of you're really serious about meeting someone.

Don't put too much stock in first dates - they're just a 'vibe check'. Keep it to a drink or two, not dinner. Otherwise you'll burn out!

My advice is date lots of guys! have a high ditching criteria.... its a game of number really.

Dont give up and good luck

As an aside, there is another thread running about why people feel the need to be so horrible. I think @GreyCarpet could do with having a look at that.

And height has got nothing to do with it, at all. I’m 5ft 7. I wear heels a lot. It’s never been a problem.

Op at 33, you have a LONG way to go. Without wanting to sound like a patronising old bag, you are young and there is time.

My recommendation would be to focus on you. Forget what you think x or y man might want and think about what YOU want. I found, once I focused on me, that relationship opportunities became very frequent. Confident women are very attractive. Set your goals, whatever they might be for your future and set out to make them happen, for you. And if a suitable (worthy) man comes along. That’s great. But, don’t settle. Pick what YOU want and stick with it.

Lol

This advice is spot on. You will definitely meet someone, OP- you sound like a catch. Try to imagine that you already know you will meet someone and enjoy the process as much as you can- once you're with husband, that's it forever, so this is your last chance to explore new men. Good luck!

@AnitaLoos I actually think you're the troll, I never said too tall to be loved that is such a nasty and mean thing to say. I'm just used to women wanting a taller guy, when she is herself is tall. 5ft7 is absolutely tall in the UK for a woman.

Well in the UK a lot of men are short around 5'7 to 5ft9 and most of them would prefer a shorter woman - in heels.

Hah i'm slightly insulted if 5'7 is considered too tall for most men - it's average height lol...

If men are being off, they're just being off and aren't interested. It's not a height thing at 5'7.

I did think about responding to that nonsense, but what do you even say to someone who thinks that? 🤣

Utter utter bollocks, I agree.

Please don't lose hope, I met my husband when we were both in our thirties and I know plenty of other people who did the same.
Most people I know met their partners through online dating - I'm sorry to say it took them all a lot more than 2 bad dates but most got there in the end.
I met mine through a hobby - to get to know people at ParkRun I recommend volunteering for a few weeks or finding out where they go for their post-run coffee and cake (for us it's the local Tesco cafe). Alternatively a running club might give you more of a social aspect, ours at least does drinks after and you're more likely to get the single people hanging around for that than the married ones with kids.
Good luck!

33 isn’t elderly! You have plenty of time to meet him and have kids. I say this with confidence, as we all did (see above re my circle).

And, for the record, I’m also 5’7” and high earning - it’s never been an issue. You don’t want someone who has a problem with either of those things. Don’t make yourself small (literally or figuratively) to make someone else feel big. That’s never going to lead to a healthy relationship.

@GreatGateauxsby‘s advice is great. Only thing I’ll add is to try to enjoy yourself. Dating is meant to be fun.

Such bollocks! I met my husband at 36 (we have two kids) and was proposed to twice in one year at 35. Calm down OP. You have time.

i HONESTLY could have written your post. It took over 2 years to meet my DH we now have the house, 2 children and a dog. Prekids i was on the fence about them and agreed to 1 for my dh. now i would like a third but am getting a bit old for it 😅

Serious Advice:
just get online and treat it like a part time job by that i mean treat:
your profile, your screening process, the venues, your red flags, when to call time on men, your outfits
optimise and review them all on an ongoing basis. Treat is as if it were your work.

I "logged" 12-20 hours per week most weeks.
Search & initial chat on sunday late afternoon to evening, 2-3 dates tue-thu, rinse repeat.
After 3 dates i either cut them lose or we were exclusive.
I didnt mess around and was really clear i wanted a LT relationship/ life partner

You've only been single five months! I really think you ought to relax about this a bit.

May I ask where you live and what your circle is like? Apart from a small minority who paired off in uni, everyone (literally EVERYONE) I know met their partner/spouse via an app, whilst in their 30’s. We all spent our 20’s building up careers and drinking too much, met our ‘person’ in our 30’s, got married and moved to the suburbs to have babies.

So, if you were my friend, you’d be pretty much on schedule. This might only be applicable to my specific London bubble, but I don’t think it’s that unusual.

Sorry bit random talking about my teacher, but the reason I mention her is her DS is the same age as my DD

@CoralWasp I'm the same age as you (33 in 2 weeks) and I know what you mean about feeling old. Just remind yourself it's better to be single than with someone rubbish. Lots of women are with men that aren't great, that's the truth.

My teacher didn't meet her now husband until she was in her late 30s and then she had her DS early 40s. I think my mum could have had more children tbh but by that point she didn't really want to.

You have time.

Also, I know this sounds a bit dramatic, but it's worth looking into egg freezing it really isn't as expensive as you'd think and it's better to do it younger.