Was I rude to this lady?

Im always abit suspicious of people who are given 'evils' by strangers.....esp if its multiple strangers! You never know how much of it is just in their heads!!

I just know Ive been insulted and tutted at a few times when walking my dog by bully owners. I cross the street to avoid them (because one of my dogs is a complete arse and bites other dogs), at which point I get tutts and often random comments about how their precious baby wouldnt hurt a fly and Im being OTT.
I literally couldnt care less about their dog except to save it from my tiny twat of a dog and yet they have already made up an entire narrative in their head about my motives!
Sorry.....abit random I know, its jusst what the OPs post makes me think of!!LOL

No, she's not the only person who has an issue with this. I have one too, not least because your lead has been followed by so many others with no objection from you.

OP if you'd have had to get a bus straight after a c section and someone in your position (or their "sweet innocent child" bumped you I'm sure you may not have reacted as well
Have a bit of empathy
Apologise and set a good example in future
Tell your children how to behave on public transport

One of my favourite lines of all time!!!!

That’s good and I’m not saying you do. Just that a parent saying “she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice doesn’t help smooth things over after she’s jostled someone. A quick sorry would have done that.

In today’s episode of ‘aren’t old people just AWFUL’. 🙄

I've got an arthritic right hand, left shoulder that aches from a fracture years ago, an arthritic left hip, right foot healing from a fracture. I'm trying to picture how I'd look trying to protect them all.

I’m with BIWI on this one. It really doesn’t matter that the woman was elderly. The “overreaction” could be because it was a neurodivergent woman in her twenties. Or a woman in her thirties with young kids at home who just wants to spend the commute not being touched by kids. Or a woman in her forties dealing with menopause. Or a woman in her fifties that hurt her arm in the gym. Or a woman in her sixties who hurt her arm walking the dog when it pulled. Or a woman in her seventies who hurt her arm when her grandchild jumped on her. Or a woman in her eighties with arthritis. Or a woman in her nineties with incredibly frail skin. Or someone who is tired or not feeling well. Or someone has been bumped by 6 backpacks already. Or someone who doesn’t like kids. Or someone who doesn’t like the bus and being bumped by a back pack because the driver didn’t wait, is one of the reasons.

It doesn’t matter why they “overreacted”. Your kid bumped them with a back pack. It wasn’t because she was charging about, that incident isn’t a statement of your parenting. It was an accident. But you lashed out over something you perceived happened. That is the reflection of your parenting that everyone on the bus now has of you.

Can I just check something, the woman tutted, moved her arm and looked at your child, then moved seats after a while? The rest is just how you chose to interpret everyone's feelings and thoughts?

Even if we are to take your story as definitive, the woman was just being mildly irritable. I'll even give you the woman was being overtly precious.But so what? Total non event. At best it required an "oh sorry" or a hand raise and an "opps" face, or even just no reaction for you.

If the woman started screaming and thrashed around holding her arm, and verbally berated your child then, yes that would have been an overreaction on her part. As it stands it seems it was you who overreacted to the irritable action of another person.

You may have a reason for being over sensitive at that moment and thats why you felt the need for a firm voiced comment. (Just as the woman may have had reason for her irritation.) But it's one interaction with a stranger you'll probably never see again. Whether you were rude or not, you can't change it. Unless there's an insurance claim or your child is having nightmares about it, move on.

So now the 6yo has hit her in the eye?!

I agree. Im not old, but I've had a lot of pain and regular muscle injuries often in multiple parts of my body from a chronic condition. If I protected those injuries constantly Id never be able to go anywhere. Chronic issues get treated very differently to acute one off injuries.

Its not up to you to decide this didn't hurt her. Maybe it was harder then you thought, maybe her skin is fragile, or she has osteoporosis or she has sensory issues or chronic pain. You've decided she overreacted so doesn't deserve an apology yet you don't actually know what it felt like to her. Just apologise next time.

Parents are so defensive over their kids these days even if their kids are in the wrong. That's why schools are in such dire straits and so many kids are off the rails. Your kid hit an elderly lady with her bag and neither of you apologised. It's quite likely she could've been on steroids and a slight brush could cause bleeding. And hitting her in the eye was quite possible too. It should've been an automatic "sorry" from both of you. Imagine if it was the other way round and someone accidentally hit your kid! Bet there would be hell to pay and a lot more than stares and tutting.

Dont give her anymore headspace - who the hell tuts at a 6 year old?

I am a seasoned commuter of many years and like to consider myself as being polite which I have also taught DC. We use public transport daily and the way my DC is treated is shocking. People barging, tutting, dirty looks - all of these experienced in the past week. No wonder children forget their manners when they meet so many intolerant adults on a daily basis.

Oh and if she had just had a blood test and was too fragile for the bus next time she should hospital transport which is still very much available for the frail.

If you get on a bus and bump someone, saying a quick sorry is all that is needed. If they react crazily (like huffing and carrying on), who cares and move seats as soon as possible.

Your posts indicate that maybe your DD fell into the seat a bit, so maybe it felt to the woman that she had fallen against her, rather than lightly brushed? It's easy to fall a bit when the bus is jolting.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she already had pain in the arm or elsewhere? Maybe she has a reason you don't know? Maybe she didn't like the idea of a child next to her who might repeatedly accidentally brush or fall against her?

I'd just have said a passing apology and that would probably have been it for the ride. Even if the woman was a bit grumpy, that's on her and I wouldn't make it my problem.

An ageist joke

With bees and their bonnet, you say? 😉

... which was clear a joke!

Yes, I know, and then you asked the OP "how old are you" after complaining about ageism throughout the entire thread 😂😂😂

She’s a little girl and it was accident, the woman should have given you both some grace

You should’ve done this 🖕🏻as the bus drove off.

@Applescruffle it was the OP who told me to 'bore off!'

You sound like you were a bit stroppy to be honest 😏 You should have apologised and helped your little one take off the backpack before getting on the bus. Being bumped by other people's backpacks is annoying!

I'd have been inclined to give them the finger as the bus passed by.