How to get son's girlfriend out of my house

What others have said.

Two weeks' notice.

Any violence, phone the police and they go NOW

If you can get support from a friend or other family when you tell them, do.

Tell your son he's always welcome to see you.

Change the locks and don't let him have a key

I wouldn't give them weeks! God knows what damage she'd do out of spite in that time. I would, however, only speak to them when everyone is calm, not during an argument. Sit them down tell them it's not working and you're not willing to compromise any longer so you want her out by the end of the week. If your son chooses to go then that's his decision.

She has no respect for you so I would not be walking on eggshells around her. Tell her you've had enough of her disrespect and want her out and if she/they refuse then you'll have to get the police involved.

It’s absolutely time for them both to go op 💐

You have shown great kindness to them by allowing them to live rent-free and they have basically thrown that back in your face which was both disrespectful and stupid.

My goodness, why do you not want your son to leave if he has violent outbursts and supports his gf insulting you? To whom or what are the violent outbursts directed? Are you afraid of him op?

Op you need to involve a third party in these circumstances to actually get them to leave.

Do you have a brother, a couple of male friends, a 6ft ex copper neighbour or colleague? Ask for their help in getting these two evicted. They will soon learn some appreciation when they are fending for themselves.

Find your anger and kick the freeloading cf's out.

Involve the police if they kick off.

She’s a house guest not a tenant, there is no tenancy and no money has changed hands as proof of any sort of arrangement

as you are the owner/renter and you are responsible you can kick her out right now.

If she refuses to go you can call the police especially if she is being abusive.

Also if your son is prone to violent outbursts you need to contact the police - if by violent you mean physical, then that’s domestic abuse. Don’t be frightened into allowing them to ruin your life and control you.
They both sound like a waste of space.
Changing the locks might be your only option.

They are both in minimum wage type jobs so don't earn a lot

That's no reason to live rent free. They're not babies. They should be paying their way instead of spending it on weed, and treating you like shit. It's unacceptable and you need to stop accepting it and put some ground rules down. It should never be a factor whether you can physically take them on. If there's a genuine risk of violence, have someone there for the conversation or involve the police.

@55goingon15
I would give them a week notice to find alternative housing accommodation elsewhere
If your son goes with her so 🤷 be it,
That's life,

They are both old enough to start making their own way in the world with some support but not Co dependency unhealthy type...

Also agree you might well have to change the locks 🔒 too...

I wouldn't even give her weeks of notice after she's called you names and shouted at you in your own home. You wouldn't give an abusive partner that long to leave id tell her she needs to leave today, where she goes isn't your issue she's an adult and its her behaviour that's put her in this situation. Fuck putting up with it for weeks longer.

Yes, it’s time to ask her to leave. Perhaps give her two weeks notice and arrange to have your locks changed. I would definitely do this as a precaution.

Yes, she’ll probably kick off and so will your DS, but she’s a guest who’s outstayed her welcome. You can get the police involved if you have to.

I would just tell them straight it’s not working and she needs to leave. Does she have parents who she can live with?

This. As others have said if they won't leave when you ask you will have to change the locks.

Tell them to leave, give them a months notice.

as they are living rent free and won’t contribute by treating your home or you with basic respect.

I can’t believe the audacity.

Any son who doesn't have a problem with his GF abusing his mother needs to get out too.

"I won't be abused and disrespected in my own home, so you both need to leave. Now."

She has disrespected you in your own home. At this point I wouldn't sit down offering ultimatums, I doubt they will stick to anything. Inform her you're giving her 2 weeks to move, if she doesn't pack up her stuff and get the police to attend when it's time to collect. Tell the police you're afraid they will become abusive and violent.

I’d honestly throw them both out. Get the police involved if they refuse.

@55goingon15

You need to toughen up they are royally taking the piss out of you and treating your house like a hotel of some sort..

you should have told them straight away to have household ground rules and to obviously pay towards some rent,

They are just advantage of the situation in a selfish way..

4 weeks, she'd be getting 24 hours notice before the locks are changed and her crap was dumped on her parents doorstep, if your DA doesn't like it he can go too. You're not doing yourself any favours pandering to them 💐

Sit them both down and explain that you’re not happy and it’s obvious she isn’t either and it’s time for her to leave, you will probably find your son will too. Just make it clear it’s still his home, just that his gf isn’t happy and things need to change.

tbh with you I think you’ve made her too comfortable and she feels she can treat you how she likes and get away with it, probably believing you won’t kick them out and upset your son.

unfortunately your son leaving too is inevitable,

Your son is an adult and is going to move out eventually anyway. Tell her to leave- I’d imagine her own parents have already put their foot down which is why she is at yours.

Your son will do one of two things either he will let her go and stay with you because he appreciates it’s cheaper. Or he will move out with her and a bit of financial responsibility might make them ease up on the weed

Change the locks. Under no circumstances does one of my kids' girlfriends call me names under my own roof. Honestly, I'd take her head off. He's early 20's. They both work, they can get a room in a shared house. They're taking the piss. People treat you the way you let them OP. I appreciate you don't want him to go, but he's being very disrespectful. To you, the woman who raised him as a single parent. You need to put a stop to it now. Find your anger.

You need to be strong. Set out the rules and don't waiver.
Does she have a parental home she can go to, if so she needs to leave now/in x number of days. If she doesn't then spell it out to her, this isn't working, you need to find somewhere to move out to in x time. In the meantime they clear all their stuff up, do housework and contribute to food etc
See how she can live on her own!
DS - may go with her but he'll probably be back

He'll almost certainly go with her and you need to hold firm and let him. Hopefully it won't last and he'll come back and sort his shit out.

Tell her to go, she is no longer welcome in your home. If your son kicks off then tell him he needs to leave too. If both refuse then contact your local police and explain that you need help getting two abusive people out of your house. Because that is what they are, they are abusing you.

You shouldn't be forced into shouting matches with anyone in your own home! How did she end up living there full time?