How to get son's girlfriend out of my house

Personally, next she calls you horrible things, show her the door, if your son chooses to go fine.

This. I think it is appalling that he is allowing his girlfriend to disrespect you in such a manner. Something has gone wrong somewhere.

JFC Op I'm a lone parent too and would not be putting up with it.

I would also get a friend or relative there with you when you tell them. It might help temper any response.

The fact that you are being bullied in your own home is horrifying.

Sorry 101

This is really sad that you're being treated this way. Kick them both out if they refuse to go like others have said involve the police

Call 10 and ask them to attend as you evict them. They will not intervene unless needed. I had a lodger who would not leave. The police came and supported me in getting him to leave.

Op your son’s gf sounds vile but he is not exactly a nice person if he has violent outbursts and supports his gf insulting you! Are you sure you are safe in his company? Please reach out for help if not.

Where is his father in all of this?

Two minimum wage jobs should be enough to get them something. Shared house room if nothing else. Plenty of couples do it.

End this situation OP because the only upside is helping your son and this isn't improving your relationship with him, in fact it sounds like it's trashing it.

Be safe. Do you have someone who could come round and help with getting their stuff out? I know police sounds extreme but so does your son's behaviour.

Hide all your valuables including passport etc with a trusted friend then give them both 5 days to move out.

Contact a locksmith in advance to check costs and timeline for how quickly they can change them. If either of them turn aggressive or violent call the police. Time for tough love.

She sounds pretty vile to even think it’s ok to speak to you in such a way in your own home.

I don't understand why these adult kids just move in partners either its so disrespectful to start then they just seem to take the absolute piss!

I wouldn't be putting up with this.

They can afford to rent a room in a shared house or a bed sit between them. Send them the link to www.spareroom.co.uk and a fortnight's notice. He can either go with her or stay at home, but either way he needs to grow up and start contributing.

We had yet another row yesterday over their untidiness and general lack of care (e.g. forgetting to lock the front door after coming in late on Friday night) and she called me all sorts of horrible, unrepeatable names and I don't know what to do.

Ha! You don’t know what to do? Hell would freeze over before someone who spoke to me like that in my house stayed another night. She’d be out.

And if my DS was daft enough to go with her or disrespectful enough to think I should be accepting of her treating me like that, he could crack on with her.

Wow.

I wouldn’t remotely give her or them 4 weeks notice. Why are people suggesting that?

she’s not a tenant. She’s abusing the OP, she needs to go. It doesn’t even sound like OP invited her to move in, in the 1st place.

OP, tell them it’s no longer acceptable and she needs to go, this weekend would have been ideal and while a Sunday night isn’t ideal, I wouldn’t trust her or them to trash the place if you tell them tonight that they need to be out in the week.

i know you don’t want your son to go but he’ll only invite her round anyway and what will really change?

Um.... she's not your kid

You just don't let her in again the next time she goes out

I would have lifted her out the door the second she spoke rudely to me - why on earth would you put up with that?

Where she lives once she’s left isn’t your problem, OP. She's not your child, she’s a very rude adult in her 20’s who’s made herself unwelcome in your house.

OP if they are both over 21 on minimum wage and working full time that's 44k between them. More than enough to pay you board and keep. They have been abusing you in your own home. Find your backbone.

She called you names in your own house...the absolute cheek of it. At that point, you should have told her to leave immediately and never return.

I wouldn't give her any notice.

A "guest" who smokes drugs and shouts at me etc in my house would be shown the door NOW.

Your son can decide if wants to leave too. I'd be happy to see the back of them both!

Your son may well leave with her but I suspect that without you to abuse she will turn on him and hopefully that will be the end of the relationship.

Indeed. I am often staggered by how often parents allow their adult DC's girl/boyfriend to move in and utterly abuse their host.

^^OP, re your last line, this is why you should not be out when they
leave and to have someone sensible in the house with you when they do.
Hide your jewellery. Good luck.

I second this, get them both to find somewhere else if he wants to live with his gf he can do it elsewhere. Also if you really want her to leave you just have to tell her to get out of your house, if your son follows then that's fine isn't it . You deserve peace in your own house.

Op there’s another thread doing the rounds atm linking support networks for child on parent violence. Maybe have a look?

I agree with @pinkdelight that it might be a good idea to ask a close friend or relative to be there as support when you ask her to leave.

As a witness if nothing else.

Re. Her job. Her finances are nothing to do with you, she’s an adult in her 20’s. She can move back with a parent as many ppl do.