How to get son's girlfriend out of my house

Sit them both down and tell them firmly and calmly that you are giving a three-week deadline to end the current situation. Your DS can either stay alone or go elsewhere with her, their choice. Make it clear that you will not go back on this and that will not be disrespected in your own home. Tell them if there are any more outbursts in the three-week period the notice is void and she/they can leave immediately.

Tell her to leave and give her a deadline. Call the police if she does not and do not let them tell you it's a civil matter. Accept that at least in the short term your son might also leave.

Change the locks once she it gone.

They're walking all over you, and you must take action. Suggest you talk to police first. They're experts on legal rights and how to handle situations. Tell your most trusted friends and neighbours ASAP.

Have somebody strong and reliable available, preferably present, in case you need backup when GF/both of them leaves.

Good luck.

You should have kicked her out when she was mouthing off to you, why would you allow someone to stay who has no respect for you or your home? You DS should leave too, he allowed her to speak to you like that?

They are adults, not kids.

Did she ask to move in? You should have agreed then what her rent would be. It seems to happen a lot these days, young adults sponging off parents, when I was that age I'd have hated living with an older person, couldn't wait to get out.

They are taking the piss and the fact she's being aggressive and rude to you is unacceptable. They should be bending over backwards to show gratitude and seriously need to grow up and take responsibility! Set rules, give them a time limit to move out and one day they will look back and realise how unfair they have been. Xx

Why don't you want your adult son with a history of violent outbursts, who disrespects you, doesn't pay his way and smokes weed (can't say that his girlfriend 'got him into this' he's an adult) to go with her?
Sounds like he is going to take her side anyway and it seems like you let him walk all over you so I can't see you having a chance of her leaving and him staying. I could actually see you telling her to leave and it will be completely ignored by both of them.
I couldn't imagine being as disrespectful as her and acting that way in my partners family home. However, she will also be led by your son and the level of respect he has for you. I don't know anyone who would allow their partner to disrespect their parents. I think you need to realise your son has zero respect for you and he needs to be taught that isn't acceptable.

If you’re giving them another chance you need to be clear about expectations of them and the consequences of not adhering to those. Then, most importantly, you need to follow through. For example, any more abuse and you will be out and if necessary I’ll be calling the police to request your removal.

So you're giving in then? 🙄

Don't let him intimidate you. Tell them to leave and call police if he is aggressive

He's apologised for her???

She still needs to leave.

Tbh so does he for sticking up for her whilst she was calling you names!

Me too.

You are way too soft OP and you will soon be being walked over again.

say you are going out and will return at x time and she needs to be gone.

Please do not do this! They sound anti-social enough to trash the house.

Please make sure they leave, with police involvement if needed.

I feel for you. I'm a solo mum (no dad input) with a son also. He's over his teenage tantrums now thank fuck and has matured now (early 30's).

He even took me out for a meal at Christmas! 😍

You need to take care of yourself now and be intolerant of any disrespect.

They are only half heartedly trying as they know they have an easy life with you and want to stay on the cheap. say if they stay it’s X per week and you want them to do X, but seriously just say no it’s not working and they leave. I get you want your son to live with you forever, but he’s an adult and you want him to be an independent adult and not cling on to him. But they sound vile and abusive, both of them to you.

You really need to make her go today.

I wouldn’t leave the house, with this ultimatum, they might lock you out.
Get another adult around to your house to support you, and then tell them.
She needs to leave immediately

I'm inclined to wonder why the g/f cant apologise for her behaviour? Treating you like that in your own home when you've been generous to her is appalling.

Give them a day to leave if they don’t , pack their things , change the locks , warn the police of a possible issue , they may escort them out

I would have turfed this big cuckoo out of my nest ages ago.

i think you need to give them a date by which you want her to start looking for her own place, notwithstanding the promise to do more and contribute more.

And introduce that each of them cooks for the other two once a week. And clears up after themselves. But she needs to go, and if he goes with her - you'll have to get used to it.

This.

This. It's a perfect opportunity to make your boundaries very clear.

This is their last chance to step up and be respectful lodgers in your home. Explain that you won't extend any further allowances to them. They are now adults and they have to behave like that. In the long run it will pay off because they will learn that being an adult is not just about doing what you want, it's also about recognising their are consequences to your actions and that being considerate to others is part of taking responsibility for yourself.

I hope you're not doing all the cooking for the household too. They should be cooking for you as well as clearing up after themselves.

Look, he's apologised because they've both panicked.

I would say to him that she has to go. It's completely unacceptable that she's moved in, paid nothing, left a mess and spoken to you like that. There's no getting around that.

Someone upthread called her a guest. She's not a guest. She is a parasite who entered your house and is trying to ruin your life.

Tell him she has to go tomorrow. She can go back home or wherever she likes but you won't be spoken to like that.

Tell him he's more than welcome to stay but that she won't be welcome in your house at all - not even for an evening.

Hopefully it will make him see sense about her.

if your son feels he is old eough to live with his girl-friend then he is old enough to move out and get a place with her.

you say he moved her in? why did you not just say no? I'd tell them, you have to leave no messing about.. off you go into the big adult world where you have to pay rent and bills.