How to get son's girlfriend out of my house

“she called me all sorts of horrible, unrepeatable names and I don't know what to do.”

You should have told her at that point that she was no longer welcome in YOUR house. If your son chooses to go with her, that’s up to him, but if he’s living at home rent-free, I doubt he’ll be gone for long - he won’t get such a good deal anywhere else.

Sorry I just read the updates, so glad they are out of the house!

They both need to leave, give them a date to leave by, stuff on the front lawn if they don't leave and change the locks regardless so they can't just wander in! How dare she speak to you like that!

Be prepared for the bleating-about-winter - have your answers prepared.

'It's getting very cold overnight' --> maybe you should buy a second duvet / heated blanket / thermal underwear

'the caravan leaks' --> you need to trace where the water's getting in and do something to stop that (and just shrug should they expect you to provide the something)

You get the drift. The default answer should be that, as adults, it's down to them. Treat it as conversation/chit-chat, not a request for you to do anything (and obviously, don't do anything).

As others have mentioned, their costs have been so low over the summer that they have had an opportunity to save. You have a good relationship with your son, I would just ask casually if that's what they have done and how they plan to overwinter - with not so much as a sniff of concern from you! It's just small talk.

That’s a positive update, OP. The mind boggles as to why the GF is rude/appears resentful towards someone who’s letting her stay in their caravan and just charging a minimal amount for electricity.

As a PP said, they must be saving plenty towards a deposit so let’s hope they move out soon, preferably just her.

thanks for updating OP.
That sounds pretty good I'd say. Well done for not letting them in the house.
I am wondering what happens if you ever want to use said caravan.
surely it wil be a nightmare to heat as things get colder - make sure you incrase their electricity contribution to reflect this!
I hope for your sake they realise its not sustainable long term and are therefore saving to hopefully get their own place? Hopefully DS will ditch the horrid GF before they get to that point though.

Great to hear, I hope you are doing well after it all . Hopefully it’s a lesson learned for the pair .

well they must be saving a fortune towards the deposit on their own place, if their only living costs are ' a small financial contribution ' so hopefully they will both be on their way soon to their bricks and mortar.

actually I do wonder if they are still living in the caravan in the garden, or if they managed to move back into the house...

@55goingon15

or maybe they have moved out completely...

No one is making you read it.

How to get her out of the house? Quick answer: The same way she got in, through the front door and lock it behind her

ZOMBIE THREAD

Your son is 20+, working a minimum wage job and clearly going nowhere. Kick both out or he will never change and she certainly doesn't deserve to live rent free.

My brother had a gf like this, even got him arrested. My parents wouldn't kick her out out of fear of upsetting him and worry that he would go into a further downward spiral, but that happened anyway and he had to pull himself up.

The amount of daydreams I had about going over there, grabbing that bitch by the hair and throwing her out were many, to say the least.

Some of this OP's already said. The couple ignored it. What is the point of people telling the OP to keep tip-toeing around them? They. Are. Users.

She needs to get them out (but she won't).

@Hommegirl

You need to start a thread of your own.

Your question is not going to get spotted amongst the replies to the OP.

stop cooking for them

take a photo of her mess and a video of her abuse, and add it to her social pages

55goingon15
Dear OP I understand your suffering, and how difficult it is to just chuck them out and put their belongings outside. Not sure that is legal. Could they sue for damages or the cost of things they never had?

There is another way. If you could find out more about the GF it might be that she is known to the police, or social services, and if so, then they would be the people to ask for help. If she has a police record, that could work in your favour, especially if it includes drug use. She might even have been charged at some time with physical abuse, or affray, or unlawful demonstration, or have a mental illness that makes her aggressive. It would put a different slant on things and bring in more authorities to help you.

If you have to, hire a private detective, but make sure they are members of their professional body, and don't give them money up front. They can take it all and then say they couldn't find anything out. That is another way of people obtaining money by deception. Having said that, if you can find a decent detective who finds anything that might help you get rid, then it is worth it.

Also, when she learns that you have hired a private detective, she might just up and leave if she or her relatives have a dodgy background.

This is a cross border question where joint family system still prevails. But with times changing, I’d appreciate some new light on an age old family crisis please…. would appreciate some thoughts…

My parents are in their mid 70’s and have always lived a very comfortable, independent life. We are two siblings, I live here in London, married with one child. My brother lives in India with my parents and his wife. He’s been married for a decade but only just started living with my parents since last four years as they moved back to my home town after having lived in SA for the initial time. All was going well until my mum and dad started expecting some things from the daughter in law and my brother in terms of family etiquettes. My brother and sister in law would frequent her parents every weekend while my parents would just be waiting to see them or spend time together. My sister in law would also not help out in the house or look out for my parents but started using the house more like a hotel. This started disrupting the home life and my brother has left the house with a bang now living in compromised accomodation with two kids. Although, my parents have tried to apologise to them by saying that they don’t expect them to change their ways, I feel he’s pushed it too far by making them visit him to see the kids when he’s been nothing but insulting to them everytime they visit him and has not returned in two years to check on my parents or have kept in touch with them, meanwhile both my parents have deteriorated physically and my mum has now even become house bound because of her acute arthritis and bad knees. My father has had a heart attack too.
what do you all think should be the right way forward? Appease my brother (who I think is just being a spoilt brat) and beg him to return so my parents get the young support they need and they don’t loose the son either or stop visiting him and let him come to some realisations too.

Tell him you were glad to help out with his girlfriend moving in if she was going to be nice and respectful, but she's taking advantage and you don't like dope smoking in your house. Also say that he's an adult who's able to get his own place to live how he likes.

Oh heck, OP - please don't put up with this any longer. I haven't read the whole thread, but I assume this horrible gf has got parents or relations of her own? She can go to them - she won't be homeless. It might concentrate her and your son's minds about getting a place of their own - it depends on how much they want to be together, doesn't it?

This won't end well if you just cave in.

Can't you not cook for them and let their washing up pile up in the sink, so she will either get fed up and move out or do more housework?
Druggies are rarely stable or reliable, even with weed, in my experience.

@55goingon15
I hope you can heed the words of@HumanRightsAreHumanRights
I think the girlfriend already has you marked out as a soft touch and is biding her time until she can take over your house again.
I completely understand why you want to help your son and his girlfriend, but at the same time I think you are a soft touch in her eyes and she will exploit you.
As soon as she feels you weaken she will be in there, as soon as you relax she will tighten her grip. You're not getting any younger, she is looking to usurp you.