I am dyspraxic and I will get in your way please don't hate me

The people who are bad tempered and impatient are also carrying burdens that make them so.

I was once a massively tightly wound ball of rage and anxiety who scraped through each day on my last nerve. I imagine I tutted and huffed, but was try hard to to lash out verbally.

Much therapy later, I am now able to be relaxed about other people’s behaviour- both the aisle blocking and the tutting.

I highly recommend getting support on managing emotions- you can’t change the grumps, you can only change your experience of their grumpiness.

💐

I think I’m being very very stupid but how does spatial awareness affect you seeing other people about to walk through a door. If someone is about to step through a door, why would you go through instead? Just wait. Or people reaching for something on a shelf? You can see them reaching so wait your turn.

I understand that you can’t judge how close to get, you may reach at the same time for a different bring and bump them, you may think there is enough space for two people through a door when there isn’t. I get that. But I don’t understand you simply not seeing other people doing things, so you just go head and do it.

Surely you have to learn to live with this? So, if you see someone walking towards a door ahead of you, then you wait rather than making a judgement that there is enough space because you know you get those judgments wrong.

I’m not trying to be an ass; I just really don’t understand the errors which involve you not paying attention to the world around you rather than making an error about how much space you have.

People are always so quick to jump to anger and OTT reactions to things like this. Nobody has any patience to just stop for a moment and think. They immediately jump to the offensive and react like an asshole. They don’t even give the person a chance to apologise before they go off on one most of the time. People just aren’t very nice generally. All this, I don’t have time to be kind bollocks. You waste more time and energy being an asshole than you do by simply shrugging it off, accepting an apology and moving on with your day.

Hah yes, exactly the same situation here for me.

Do wear it. It helps 💕

I was going to say, you need a lanyard. People are too busy going about their day to be kind to everyone but will generally know to adjust their attitude immediately for a lanyard wearer.

Also have a look at visual processing disorder as they can be similar.

My son has similar problems and struggles with these things too. It's tricky but like people have said others don't know, or indeed understand. I think all you can do is apologise .

Dyspraxia is among several of my adult relative's ND diagnoses. Her experience is very similar to yours.

Whenever she is close to someone and thinks there's room, but has misjudged it because of her poor spatial awareness, I've asked her to try giving the people twice as much space as she thinks is okay.

Also, sometimes taking just a little more time to observe how much space there is before acting can help.

Like many other ND conditions, dyspraxia is invisible, so you cannot expect strangers to know or understand.

@cranberrypi - I have one. I keep it in my bag for really bad days.

Most people, if you apologise (and especially if you mention that you have a disability) will be understanding. Even if they start off with a higher level of irritation, they'll immediately back off and probably feel a little guilty if they tutted at you or scowled.

It must be frustrating to have to apologise often for things you didn't intend to do, but I don't see a way around it. Some people do this type of thing simply because they're inconsiderate, and on rare occasions it's intentionally aggressive, and there's no way to tell which is which, if we don't know the person.

I hear you. I have dyspraxia and chronic vestibular migraine which is made ten times worse by busy environments and fluorescent lights, so if I'm in a shop/supermarket/hospitaI type environment, I am both impossibly clumsy and severely dizzy/spaced out, with all the anxiety that goes with it. I ricochet through life apologising to people - it's exhausting. I tend not to actually walk into people, but I do quite often have to stop and hang onto something, which annoys people behind me. One of the vestibular groups on FB produced t-shirts a few years back that said 'Dizzy, not drunk' and I wish I'd bought one.

Yeah I’m sorry but I’m dyspraxic and have two dyspraxic sons, so I’m very aware of this problem.

But I also have joint and mobility problems that make it very painful if somebody knocks into me or if I have to serve suddenly to avoid somebody.

So I am going to instinctively react with a tut or dirty look (or even a sort of huff noise I make when I’m in pain) if you get in my way or knock me.

All you can do is say sorry - if you feel the need you can even say “sorry, I’m disabled”. But it’s not reasonable to expect people to not react when you knock into them.

Have you had any occupational therapy? That can work wonders to improve your issues.

You are not the only person in world with a condition.
Some of those people you are barging into may have conditions that cause them pain at the slightest touch, balance issues that risks them being pushed over easily, ASD, OCD etc .

Cranberry - how big an problem is this that this happens multiple times a day?
I know people with dyspraxia and they do struggle with so many things, but I can't ever remember being barged into!

You are going to have to accept if you are bumping into people they have a right to be upset. You can apologise and you can try to take steps to mitigate.

I'm ND and I make many many concessions and adjustments to my life and how I go about my day to day life to cope with having that disability.
Unfortunately no one is going to give us a medal.

If there is something you can trip over, walk into follow fall over, I will. I once fell down a flight of stairs on a mezzanine (one of those false levels in a high ceiling rooms where a bed platform was) and landed on my friends dining table which was underneath, so god knows how I did that.

yeah. I just get in with it and apologise a lot!

I get you, OP. I say sorry all the time and try to make myself as small as possible so as not to be in the way. And I always fail. I am always in the way and I hate it.

I think it's worse because dyspraxia isn't really seen as a real disability even though it affects us daily.

Your frustration should be aimed at the dyspraxia. Not random people going about their business.

Having a physical disability (if that’s how you personally see it) absolutely sucks. No question. But for some people that is sadly life, and they have to make adjustments. There’s no need to be dramatic and threaten never to leave your house. But you can find other things in your life that give you enough joy to weather this side of things.

I'm dyspraxic and autistic. I would much rather you barged into me than the regular light brushing against me that happens with neurotypical people in a crowd or on a busy bus. Because that feeling is sensory hell for me.

YANBU to be dyspraxic. YABU to ask people to ignore everyone who gets in their way, many people are just selfish and thoughtless (not you) and deserve to be tutted at. It’s mainly men who think they own all rights of way though.

Thanks for your post OP. You’ve just described one of my children to a tee and I’m now off to research dyspraxia.

Our physical space is very important to us. It sounds difficult for you but no one likes being bumped into and a tut is an understandable response. Just apologise quickly - get in before the tut! “I’m so sorry I have difficulty judging space”.

Sounds tough though OP so I do feel sympathetic to you.