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Original poster

Is it worth it for £2.90?

36 replies

wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 10:35

My ex is a twat.

Absolute nightmare in maintenance. Always late and he has arrears. I went through cms and he's still no better.

He never pays on time - always 1 or 2 days late and it's always £2.90 per week less than it should be.

Yesterday I asked him yet again to pay and pay the correct amount. He replied with laughing emojis and said he would pay.

Today he has paid but not the right amount.

£2.90 doesn't make much difference to our daughter but equally if you added it up in a year it's £150ish that is missed.

Would you go back to cms and tell them he's not paying the correct amount?

Not sure I can handle the abusive messages I would get for doing it.

I feel I'm being petty but this man is so controlling it's unreal.

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chaticat · 28/04/2024 13:57

wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 13:37

We were doing collect and pay - this is when he actually started paying me directly again so it went back to direct pay.

Now he's at it again....off back to collect and pay we go 🙄

Show quote history

Annoying that you have to pay 4% for this but it sounds easiest

chaticat · 28/04/2024 13:56

Redglitter · 28/04/2024 12:36

The fact it's the arrears that he's refusing to pay makes a huge difference. I'd definitely be reporting that

This

Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 13:37

SuperGreens · 28/04/2024 13:23

Use collect and pay, report his underpaying and the CMS can set it up for you. It costs him an extra 20% and you 4%.
https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments

We were doing collect and pay - this is when he actually started paying me directly again so it went back to direct pay.

Now he's at it again....off back to collect and pay we go 🙄

OP posts:
2catsandhappy · 28/04/2024 13:16

I don't know if this is any help. My exH had to pay arrears(CSA back then). He paid it off. It took him until our dd was 23.

Absolutely chase him through the agency! He will be paying maintenance arrears past the dc age cut off. Twat.
I advise never mention it to him. I swear they get a thrill from imagining the power they hold over you.

By the by, my dd barely sees her dad now. Directly because of the petty miserly way he treated me/us. She remembers.

Sandwichgen · 28/04/2024 13:15

Does it affect someone’s credit score if they don’t pay / underpay CM?

Because it should. And not difficult to implement, I wouldn’t have thought

Kittenkitty · 28/04/2024 12:56

Yeah he’s doing it purposely to get the opportunity to call you a petty scrounger etc. don’t rise to it, ignore his messages and do it all through proper channels

Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 12:52

The issue is he is self employed so it's difficult, if he was employed they can take it directly out of his wages (at a push I think) but self employed makes it much harder.

Of course it also means by me pushing it, he will probably declare less earnings next year as punishment too.

I can't win.

OP posts:
Morph22010 · 28/04/2024 12:47

MILTOBE · 28/04/2024 12:33

I really think CM should come out of wages - it's ridiculous that men can control their XPs like this.

It’s the extra admin costs of doing it that way though which is a waste for the thousands of decent parents who manage to pay what they should without any problems. I think option is there where they do default although not sure on the mechanics of how it all works

BettySweaty · 28/04/2024 12:46

CMS can do an attachment to his earnings so you don't have to go through this with him. He would be then answerable to them for non payments, not you.

First you will need to let them know what he's been doing, and I think keep them updated. Give them a call. X

MoreLidlThanWaitrose · 28/04/2024 12:43

Block him. Contact through official channels only.

Enjoy your weekly ‘fuck you’ coffee.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/04/2024 12:41

so he is not paying the arrears ?

let CMS deal with it and him

every single time

MsLuxLisbon · 28/04/2024 12:40

MILTOBE · 28/04/2024 12:33

I really think CM should come out of wages - it's ridiculous that men can control their XPs like this.

I think that there are some US states that do wage garnishment. I have no idea why it isn't done here.

Oldermum84 · 28/04/2024 12:40

He's a nob. Follow it up. Good luck!

caringcarer · 28/04/2024 12:38

wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 11:04

Thank you all for the advice - I will do it tomorrow.

Just need to mentally prepare myself to be called 'jealous' 'bitter' and accused of trying to destroy his life 🙄

Block him on everything.

caringcarer · 28/04/2024 12:37

He's just doing this to continue to wind you up and exert control over you. £2.90 is not a lot but £150 will cover your DC Xmas gifts. I'd be thinking of it like that. Go back to CMS and set out his payment history. They are not stupid they will see he's trying to prove a stupid point score over you. They can deduct money from him directly and then charge him for them to forward it to you each month. Tell them you want this because he can't be trusted to send you the correct amount each month.

Redglitter · 28/04/2024 12:36

The fact it's the arrears that he's refusing to pay makes a huge difference. I'd definitely be reporting that

MILTOBE · 28/04/2024 12:33

I really think CM should come out of wages - it's ridiculous that men can control their XPs like this.

LittleGreenDragons · 28/04/2024 12:30

The £2.90 only about 6 weeks. He went 10 weeks without paying so this extra is the arrears. He had letters threatening court

So he's refusing to pay his arrears? Yep, definitely inform cms he is refusing to pay that, rather than saying it's not the right amount. It might trigger the court action very quickly which might be very satisfying to see.

Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 11:04

Thank you all for the advice - I will do it tomorrow.

Just need to mentally prepare myself to be called 'jealous' 'bitter' and accused of trying to destroy his life 🙄

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 28/04/2024 10:55

It's 'only' £2.90 now but no doubt he will increase that if he gets away with it so I'd go through CMS.

Bournetilly · 28/04/2024 10:51

Yes I would pursue it out of principle. Even if it doesn’t make a difference to you. He obviously knows that he’s not paying the right amount and is probably doing it for a reason, to get at you. Also he could start paying even less in the future thinking he’s getting away with it.

Penguinmouse · 28/04/2024 10:50

It might feel petty but you’re obviously dealing with a petty man in the first place who is shortchanging his child.

Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 10:50

chaticat · 28/04/2024 10:47

Any idea why it's always 2.90 less? Does it make it a round number?

Personally yes I'd go to cms and say he's not paying the correct amount or on time

It's the same amount as he pays his other ex I'm guessing. That is the amount he told me he would pay before I went to cms....but then he never paid so I had to make a claim. Mine is £2.90 more due to his arrears.

OP posts:
Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 28/04/2024 10:48

mewkins · 28/04/2024 10:44

I'd definitely follow up with CMS. How long has it been going on for? I hope they charge him interest x

The £2.90 only about 6 weeks. He went 10 weeks without paying so this extra is the arrears. He had letters threatening court so only started paying again when he received those but it's never on time and not the right amount

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