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Breaking it off, do I tell him the truth about why?

110 replies

ManorLord · 28/04/2024 08:54

Been seeing someone for a few months. The very first date he talked about his kids non stop. I thought it was kind of sweet but did find it a bit boring after a while. Anyway I didn’t say anything, second date was the same, talking about his kids non stop from the minute we met until the goodbye. I had tried to change the topic multiple times but somehow it always came back to his kids. After that date he started sending me photos of his kids, first few pics I replied “lovely pics” but he continued sending them and I started ignoring the messages in the end. Eventually he messaged asking what kind of day I was having so I replied talking about what my day had entailed and asked him about his … he replied “oh you are still alive! Haha you went quiet on me! I’m just trying to find you the photos from Christmas of the kids”. I didn’t reply as there didn’t seem to be a tactful way of saying I didn’t want them!

every time we’ve met since it’s been the same … talking about his kids and showing me photos. On the last date I was hesitant to go and he asked why … I said “conversation is a bit of a struggle”. He seemed suprised and said “but we talk non stop when we meet!” And I replied “no you talk, about the kids. It’s nice but I’d like to talk about other stuff”. He replied “oh, you have a problem with my kids 😞” … I knew this would happen, trying to make me look like an arsehole for not being obsessed with his kids. I replied “no, I have kids too but I don’t talk about them constantly do I?” He replied “sorry, but I love my kids”. 🙄 I said “most parents love their kids, me included but I have other interests, you wouldn’t know as you never ask”

Anyway … we agreed to another date with kid talk off the table. We practically sat there in silence.

He’s been texting me ever since trying to talk about other stuff yet he’s still sending me photos of his kids - I’m going to break it off, do I tell him it’s because of the endless kid talk or just say we’re not compatible?

OP posts:
QueenConsort · 01/05/2024 10:21

I have this and thought it was just me being a bitch. He does it about everyone he knows though, it's draining and boring.

I've had to tell him to shut up and I don't care about his sister's friends life story for instance. The kid photo thing was constant until he ran out of photos, I feel your pain.

SecondRow · 01/05/2024 10:19

Do you think he sends umpteen pictures of you, OP, to the kids after each date? 😉

NinaGeiger · 01/05/2024 10:11

I keep thinking about Hungry Hippos and laughing to myself

Mumoftwo1312 · 01/05/2024 10:10

I'm still chuckling at this man who takes photos of his almost-adult kids eating! "Hungry hippos"!

Op please share more examples because it is comedy gold.

In all seriousness though I do know one man (a relative of mine) who is a bit like this - his kids are now mid 20s and both still live at home and he's very controlling of them underneath all the cutesy infantalising.

A pp above nailed it in two words "strange man"

mjf981 · 01/05/2024 10:05

You've already told him?
No need to do it again. Just a short, sharp, 'this isn't working for me, all the best for the future' and move on.

Favouritemeals · 01/05/2024 09:57

Why did you keep on going on dates with someone you find so boring and who talks at you, not with you?

Just tell him its not working out and end it.

exomoon · 01/05/2024 09:54

I knew this would happen, trying to make me look like an arsehole for not being obsessed with his kids. I replied “no, I have kids too but I don’t talk about them constantly do I?” He replied “sorry, but I love my kids”. 🙄 I said “most parents love their kids, me included but I have other interests, you wouldn’t know as you never ask”

So he implied you don't love your kids as much and then couldn't think of any thing to ask you, about you or your kids. Arsehole.

I wouldn't tell him you're breaking it off due to the kids, let him do it to the next woman so she sees him for who he is.

albatrossjoe · 01/05/2024 09:54

Lilacdew · 01/05/2024 08:53

He's looking for a woman who will devote herself to his children. That's not you.

He sounds spectacularly dull and you sound refreshingly outspoken. Just tell him it's not working for you. The reason should be obvious by now.

Just wanted to say this is a brilliant summary!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/05/2024 09:30

The hungry hippo about an adult 😂😂

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/05/2024 09:29

Definitley end it - the reason is you don't have much in common and you're not having fun,
That's it. No need to mention the kids again, you've said it once and there will likely be a woman out there that loves kid updates and wants to send the same herself so I would focus on the fact that your main needs aren't being met rather than come across as a child hater

Lilacdew · 01/05/2024 08:53

He's looking for a woman who will devote herself to his children. That's not you.

He sounds spectacularly dull and you sound refreshingly outspoken. Just tell him it's not working for you. The reason should be obvious by now.

MinnieGirl · 01/05/2024 08:50

What happened OP? Have you got rid of him?

AtrociousCircumstance · 28/04/2024 13:24

Just say it’s not working but you wish him well.

My god what a boring fucker.

MILTOBE · 28/04/2024 13:21

Oh god, I couldn't be doing with that.

Why did he break up from his ex?

andfinallyhereweare · 28/04/2024 13:19

He’s not going to see your POV, don’t explain just say sorry we’re not well suited or whatever gentle way you want to end it, then no more communication at all.

PenelopeTitsdrop1990 · 28/04/2024 12:50

Does he ask you about you? If not I'd make that a good reason to end it.

MrsDoubtfire24 · 28/04/2024 12:47

Why give him feedback that will enable him to be on better behaviour with the next woman? You’re not a dating coach.

Sending photos of the kids eating is grossly inappropriate. This man has no boundaries.

PineappleTime · 28/04/2024 12:40

AccountCreateUsername · 28/04/2024 10:31

That date already happened, so boring you missed it. OP has no plans to meet this man again 👏🏼

She does...?

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 28/04/2024 12:38

I imagine in 2 years you will have 2 extra on your dates to the pub....

LardoBurrows · 28/04/2024 11:53

Dita73 · 28/04/2024 09:32

Sounds like Peter Andre. Ditch him immediately

😂😂

walnutcoffee · 28/04/2024 11:43

Id be blocking and running for the hills.
I couldent sit and listen to non-stop talk about kids all the time bloody boring.
Mind you mine are adults.
But nope block before you have to start meeting them it will get worse from then on.

LakeTiticaca · 28/04/2024 11:26

Christ on a bike I thought they were toddlers!!
You need to tell him the reason your binning him, in the nicest possible way, nobody wants to listen to a non stop commentary on the lives of their teenage children. It might save him wasting more time meeting dates and getting binned because they are fed up of his one subject conversation 😒

Noseybookworm · 28/04/2024 11:11

Does it really matter what you say? You're not going to see him again so it doesn't matter what he thinks 🤷‍♀️ I would just say not compatible and not get drawn into any discussions about the whys and reasons. Just message him and the forget about him - and be glad you won't have to see any more pics of his bloody kids 😂

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 28/04/2024 11:09

Not only does he sound dull, he sounds like a massive dickhead for trying to make out you're the one in the wrong.

The “sorry, but I love my kids” is particularly galling and I'm surprised you didn't block him immediately.

fatphalange · 28/04/2024 11:07

Strange man.