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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Exes wife taking children on holiday

59 replies

chuckly777 · 28/04/2024 08:08

Children are 9 and 11. My ex also shares a younger child with his wife. They have been married for 7 years.

My ex has mentioned that the children are going to go away in the holidays with his wife and her family (ex not going). I wasn't asked, just told.

Would you be comfortable with this? Children get on fine with his wife and I believe her family too. It is during his time with them so he's saying it's not really up to me. Aibu?

OP posts:
WhatWouldYouDo33 · 28/04/2024 08:11

Just saw they have a younger sibling. It’s nice to get time to spend with their sibling on a holiday too.

Sunshineandrainboos · 28/04/2024 08:11

What do the kids want to do? I would say only their options counts tbh

They’ve been married 7 years and presumably were together before they go married so have been in your dcs lives a long time. It’s not like she’s a stranger to them

Anameisaname · 28/04/2024 08:11

Well if it's his way of sorting childcare for the kids then really not necessary for him to ask OP. I think you can reasonably ask what are arrangements if kids get ill and I assume they're holidaying in thr UK not abroad?

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 28/04/2024 08:10

Are they going abroad? Do the children want to go? I assume after 7 years they know her well?
children are of an age where I think it’s ok but depends if they are going to Devon or Mexico!

Purpleturtle45 · 28/04/2024 08:10

When you read some of the posts on here about step parents actively excluding step children from holidays I think, on the surface of it, it's nice she is taking them away.

Do you have any specific concerns?

Fahdidahlia · 28/04/2024 08:10

Look at it this way -
Kids are all being treated equally.
Kids are being treated as family.
You've been made aware so no secrets.
On his "time".
Great for the kids to get holiday!

Too often step parents are lambasted on here for not involving step kids. Does feel a step parent can never do anything right from posts on here!

Cadela · 28/04/2024 08:10

She will need your written permission to take them out of the country. But it’s up to the kids - do they want to go?

Being told not asked would fuck me off.

MakingUpTheNumbers · 28/04/2024 08:09

Going on holiday fine

Being just told, not asked etc not fine

TeaKitten · 28/04/2024 08:09

It 100% depends on what the kids think.