To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

Nurses don’t do mammograms, the health professionals are radiographers.

It’s invasive and not a nice procedure for anyone; a lot of medical investigations are this way and a bit of an unknown how you will experience it and that can also vary on the day.

For example I recently went through the same procedure a few weeks apart - although carried out in the exact same way by the exact same person, due to my own body it was very painful throughout one time and only had one moment of discomfort the other.

There is an implied consent by participating in the procedure, but kindness and sensitivity on the part of the person carrying out these investigations do go a long way. The feedback you did is good, the patient advocacy liaison (PALS) service could also help. Do you have anyone who supports you who you could debrief the experience with?

So you’ve no reason to disbelieve her, but then tell her you disbelieve her?? Rude.

Then again, how would you describe the force used if grabbing is dramatic? Given that the amount of force was enough to draw blood in more than one account.

Personally, I don't think it's my place to tell others that their version of events is incorrect when I wasn't even there. But perhaps you can give us your superior knowledge here.

I've not accused anyone of lying about being injured. Who are we talking about here? I'm simply pointing out that there's a lot of dramatic language going on throughout this thread. I suspect that some of it is exaggerated, and is putting women off going to have their breasts checked.
If the sisterhood has a positive role, it might well be about when encouraging other women to look after their health. Not an obligation to believe every woman, just because she's a woman.

You don't have to go around accusing women of lying about being injured during a medical procedure either, do you?

So I have to believe every woman, just because she's a woman? Oddly enough, during my life so far, I've come across women who exaggerate (and women who blatantly lie). In fact I've come across quite a few of them.

I'd like to believe every woman (and every man, come to that) and I won't be told that 'sisterhood' involves pretending that every other women is perfect, and that it obliges me to believe every woman, whatever she says.

Firstly, telling someone to 'stop being a baby' is not OK. Also:

The discomfort and vulnerability you feel at the mammogram pales into comparison when you’re called back for biopsy and find yourself sitting across the room from someone telling you that you have cancer.

You're assuming they ARE going to be told they have cancer? When there's every chance (fingers crossed!), they might not.

Regardless, women ARE allowed to feel uncomfortable about a procedure involving an intimate part of their body.

That so many posters seem unable to grasp this, is frankly mind-blowing.

How would you describe using enough force to break the skin then?

If someone says they were grabbed, they were grabbed. No one needs you to tell them they're making it up. What part of the sisterhood included gaslighting other women?

Nobody's asking for 'warm and fuzzy'. Just a basic level of common decency. Why do people always have to resort to 'extremes'?

We all know mammograms are physically uncomfortable. That's not what's being discussed here. We're discussing how OP felt mentally uncomfortable about the procedure because of the person doing it.

Yet the tone of this thread is overwhelming: 'Put your big girl pants on and suck it up!'

Whatever happened to having a little compassion? Jeez...

@PleaseletitbeSpring where did you have your private scan done? Had my first nhs mammogram last year and it was such an awful experience that I felt completely violated!

I had a similar experience during my first/last mammogram. I did feel incredibly vulnerable at the time and because I'm not a naturally slender person my boobs are quite hefty, there was no dialogue between us and as the radiographer grabbed my boobs to try and force them into the machine, she split the skin under one of my breasts and it bled a little, she then became very apologetic and friendly, looking back it was a bizarre experience.

Of course, it won't put me off going again (although it did at the time!) but I totally understand how you feel, surely a bit of kindness when we feel at our most vulnerable is all that's needed, that's surely not too much to ask?

I thought you said she was patronising. She’s likely not being ableist she has a different point of view if she has a cancer diagnosis - namely that the mammogram is a means to an end. But no, name calling isn’t nice, I agree.

I had my first in Wales. She asked me if it was my first time and talked me through the whole process. I have had several more and they have varied between asking me before touching and the grab and push variety. It varies from nurse to nurse as well as location to location, sadly.

I must say though that on finding the lump, the process was swift, kindly and so helpful.

And I pointed that out upthread when I replied to this poster - but I essentially agreed with what she said about a cancer diagnosis being worse than the mammogram procedure.

This 100%

There is so much dramatic language in this thread. I've had friendly radiologists and more brusque ones. But none of them have "grabbed" or "manhandled" me. They have placed my breasts in the correct position. Sometimes that's just needed a guiding touch and other times it's needed the breast lifting or pushed.

Using the words grabbed and manhandled is trying to turn a procedure into some kind of violence, which it isn't.

It's like the posters who love to say how their baby was 'ripped' from them when they have birth, etc.

Women should be encouraging each other two take care of their health. Not frightening then out of it by turning a beneficial procedure into a violent drama.

I think people would be far more likely to have the various screenings available to us if they felt they would be treated with dignity and respect. Sadly, as this thread has shown, this isn't always the case, and just because we have these screenings doesn't mean we should be dealt with as 'just another patient on a busy day that we wish was over so we can go home' by the professional doing the procedure.

They are radiographers not nurses who undertake the mammogram.I akways take paracetamol before mine as they can be uncomfortable .

And excuse me, but as I've said elsewhere, I've been through all that and more. But I still wouldn't call another woman a baby. It's nasty.

I don’t care whether she has breast cancer. Its not a free pass to be disablist.

No one's playing top trumps for God's sake, don't be ridiculous. If you read my comment I'm objecting to the OP being told 'not to be a baby' then brought up my own surgery to illustrate that going through it doesn't destroy my empathy for others who are 'only' enduring a mammogram.

Hope you're well now, but I need to step away from this thread now I think. It's very unpleasant.

I’m sorry you’ve also been poorly handled at what is a very traumatising time.

It really does not have to be that way. It’s sad to see how many people who have been put through the wringer and seem to accept that is how it should be.

Maybe she has breast cancer - seems to be speaking from experience, so not actually patronising, just factual.

Maybe you stop being patronising, love.