To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

Well now you know .

Of course they’re a good thing. So are smears. But the fact that you know it’s good to get screened doesn’t mean you can just magically cope perfectly if you struggle with being touched in intimate places. Loads of women miss smears because they’re scared, and as we’ve seen in this thread, women have missed mammograms or been put off going back. Kindness and empathy from the HCP doing the procedure is not only basic human decency, and part of their training - it’s also key to screening programmes reaching more people.

How HCPs behave and speak to you does matter - not just for patients’ feelings as and end in itself, but for engagement with and trust in medical services which is a huge factor in early diagnosis. That saves not only lives but a lot of money which means a better service for everyone.

I will never forget being traumatised during my first pregnancy by a midwife who scared the bejesus out of me when I was given a “high” (1 in 200) risk of downs. She was all doom and gloom telling me it was awfully bad news and I needed an amnio so I could abort if the baby had downs. She’d already booked me an amnio for the next day. She didn’t even ask how I felt about abortion or if I wanted an amnio (I didn’t).

Now it’s not the same situation but the point is I was being offered tests, which is on paper good. But if HCPs are unempathetic, treat you as if you don’t have feelings and push you around literally or metaphorically, and don’t take into account that people are not all the same, they can really upset people - and that upset is not necessarily people just needing to get a grip. I’m far from a snowflake. But kindness and understanding are not some kind of bonus extra. They’re part of doing the job right. As I said, I’m an NHS volunteer and I have to be kind, caring and non-judgmental and listen to patients and if I failed in that I’d be kicked out and rightly so.

They are screening tests to detect early signs of cancer they are a good thing!

Get a grip

Because they are in a blue uniform and just introduce themselves as Marie or whoever, and don't point out they're the radiographer. And many lay people don't know the difference.

Nurses do not undertake mammograms radiographers undertake these.Why do people always assume it is a nurse undertaking these !

Procedures are being updated all the time.

New detection for PAP smears now means 1 every 5 years instead of 1 every 2 years. Until it can be detected by blood test, a physical exam/sample is necessary and unfortunately that's internal.
Modern mammogram machines are easier and faster to manipulate than the older ones which reduces the time. Again, until there's a blood test, an actual squash of the tissue is going to be needed.
I've had coils inserted and removed under general at the same time as endometrial biopsy.
Not sure if prostate cancer is now being done by blood test, last I heard it was still manual.

Vasectomies do bloomin’ hurt though! My DH had a local anesthetic and then spent three days lying on the sofa with bags of ice on his bits. 😂

I've often thought that if women could have vasectomies, we'd be called overdramatic for wanting them with anaesthetic.

I always feel like I have been groped after a mammogram. I have only had one sexual partner so I find standing there topless with strangers very uncomfortable. I also hate just being grabbed.

So thankful I no longer have a cervix so no more smears for me. I always felt dirty when I came out. The way they pull you knees up, push them apart and the shine their torch up there makes me want to shrivel up. Never missed an appointment though.

I don't think they invent deliberately invasive/painful tests for women, but I do think there would be more effort made in trying to come up with better/kinder methods if men had to endure the kind of tests women do. Maybe I am wrong, but it does seem this way - breast screening/cervical smears/removal of coils, colposcopys can all be extremely painful for some women, yet no pain relief is offered for these procedures because, as I was told, they are considered 'minor' procedures - well the pain I have experienced with these were not 'minor' and resent that my very real pain is treated as such. Also, it seems that none of these procedures have had an 'up-date' despite being in place for donkeys years - seemingly it is seen as low down in priority, but as its putting myself and others off have the tests altogether, and therefore at risk medically, I really think (and hope they are?) efforts should be made to create more humane methods, or at least give the pain relief required!!

Some people on this thread really need to read Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez

Surely this reflects the specifics of the test involved? Do you think there is some conspiracy to inflict pain on women and let men off the hook in an healthcare setting? Do you honestly think that health care practitioners adopt this approach? Does absolutely everything have to be seen through the lens of 'male privilege'? This thread is so weird. I am so glad I do not see the world in such a tainted and troubling way.

Someone said all her husband has ever had to experience is a finger up the bum for a prostate exam. Most men I know don't enjoy or look forward to that experience and some decide to avoid it.

Friend went to have something investigated, (can't remember what - I wasn't with him at the time, so have only been told a tale after,) and asked the doctor if he wouldn't need an internal biopsy, and GP said, "you really won't like me if I do that, because it will hurt a lot, so I'd rather do other tests first." And I thought, I can't think of a time where they've chosen to do other tests on me so I could avoid pain. Male privilege. I mean, I don't have a prostate or anything male (good thing too, as prostate cancer runs in the family,) but I have had a needle biopsy in the breast more than once, and other things which hurt.

Wow! Your experience really tops mine - think I would still be having nightmares about it in your position. A roomful of junior doctors witnessing the whole painful and undignified event would have amplified the horror tenfold!

There appears to be the attitude "you've had a baby(s) so you're used to displaying your vagina to all and sundry" - bloody rude!!

100% this!
I unexpectedly had my (ancient!) copper coil out in 2021, at a hospital outpatient appointment to check for post menopausal bleeding (which was caused by a small polyp)
I was actually told to "grit my teeth" by the male consultant as he removed it in a room full of nurses and two male junior doctors (I was not asked if I minded if they were there either, but the woman before me was asked?!)
The nurses were really lovely though and talked me through it.
But it's that "Grit your teeth" attitude that really winds me up!
I've had four children, but that still bloody hurt!

I'm a woman and a biologist. I tend to be sensitive to this sort of 'joke' because quite honestly a lot of women DO think men design medical instruments and processes to intimidate and humiliate women.

Usually it is simply a reflection of the realities of the female body.

Someone said all her husband has ever had to experience is a finger up the bum for a prostate exam. Most men I know don't enjoy or look forward to that experience and some decide to avoid it.

Yeah see those situations are off putting. Ours is done in a small modern building with lovely decorations etc. All designed to relax and put us at ease. TV, coffee and tea facilities etc.

Sounds like your system is lacking. Here we have a form to sign, we go into a private waiting area and then called in for the scan. Go back to the private waiting room to wait for the result (to make sure the scans are good to read) and then go home. Letter a couple of weeks later with the results.

How is that comment to the OP in anyway helpful? Of course she knows why she’s there, she’s talking about the care.

I wasn't being petty. I said yes they should be sensitive to the patient. But they are NOT there as nurses.

Going off at a slight tangent here, not only did I hate my first (probably last) mammogram as was so painful, nor the several cervical smears over the years (which I no longer bother with, as very painful and means taking time off work out of my precious annual leave as GP nurse only works Mondays, which makes me resent procedure even more), but I have also had to endure a very painful removal of a coil last year - the first 'attempt' was carried out by a nurse at a medical centre who looked at me blankly when I expressed pain and whenI asked if this usually was so painful she replied "I've never had any complaints before" condescendingly, looking at me as if i was odd, and we had to give up the procedure on that visit. I later managed to get an appointment at another centre via my gp, and requested an anaesthetic, but apparently it is not available for this type of procedure (i guess we women are supposed to be able to endure the pain without complaint), anyway at least the Consultant Gynaecologist removing it and her accompanying Nurse who held my hand throughout were very gentle and communicative - unlike the ignorant nurse at the first centre who just yanked at my womb, making me feel like it was going to yank our all my insides! They also agreed that there are some women who find the procedure painful, so I wasn't being overly squeamish. Thankfully there was no longer a need to re-insert another coil, due to my age, but I probably wouldn't have bothered with another one anyway after that dreadful experience.

I don't think my husband has had to suffer more than an intrusive finger up his bum to check his prostate in his whole life, and will never know the pain and indignities women have to suffer, luckily for him.

@MeTooOverHere I had no paperwork at all. I had a text out of the blu telling me where and when my appointment was. There was a link to click if you needed to change it. I didn't need to, but clicked any way. Hidden in the website where a very basic 5step guide, and elsewhere a video of I assume a radiographer giving a very basic description of the process. Neither mentioned that someone else would need to position me. They both said that some people might experience minor discomfort. They both gave the impression that it was a simple walk in, have a couple of x rays taken, go home. Sono I didn't feel I had to go a search the internet for more information. I assumed the NHS would tell me everything.
When I went to the reception desk I gave my name, was asked if it was my first time (yes), and did I have any concerns about the health of my breasts. I was given nothing to sign.
The same lady took me through to Di the test. She explained nothing. She poked, prodded and gave abrupt commands to move.

I also had a bad experience getting a mammogram and tbh it is putting me off having another one which is way overdue.

I know it's not logical and I need to force myself to do it but somehow I always come up with excuses because I am actually dreading it. My last one was done in a mobile mammogram centre in the hospital car park. The environment was cold and unfriendly and so was the Radiographer. She made me feel uncomfortable and stupid for a mistake I made during a process that was entirely out of my comfort zone.

Well, I got my boobs out for both my children, including in shopping centres. A shawl covered all. But in the mammogram suite you do feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. You are (if like me) wondering what the other woman thinks about your breasts. A modicum of politeness and kindness is required, I think.

Amazing that people are still here arguing that expecting basic kindness from a healthcare professional is entitled and precious. That suck it up, be grateful attitude is SO much more off-putting than people telling the truth about what their procedures were like.