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Original poster

Do toxic people know they’re toxic?

111 replies

Betternowthannever · 27/04/2024 20:05

Just that! Do they know they are toxic? Do they intentionally hurt others or are they a victim of circumstance? Did their upbringing or an experience make them this way?
My DF’s family are highly toxic, as was he. I’m just trying to work it out in my head…. Do they know or are they so engrained in this life/ behaviour that it’s just normal for them? Like a pattern repeating itself through the generations?

OP posts:
Original poster
Betternowthannever · 27/04/2024 20:18

I always thought they hurt me intentionally and deliberately acted the martyr/toxic. It kind of helps to know it’s not always that way.
They always did blame me or others for their behaviour and words.
It’s had a profound affect on me, I worked so hard to not be like them, that I’m not sure of my true self.

OP posts:
Greywitch2 · 27/04/2024 20:18

Based on my sister, No. It's always someone else's fault.

Hatinthislife · 27/04/2024 20:17

I have been toxic in the past. Didn’t realise the extent at the time but knew what I was doing wasn’t right. In hindsight I can’t believe that person was me

stayathomer · 27/04/2024 20:16

But what is toxic really? Another modern label. There’s good and bad in most and some people are unfortunate enough to bear the brunt of the not positive aspects of someone’s personality and assume they’re the world’s worst. It’s like people who say they’re people pleasers, I don’t believe there’s such a thing really

Josette77 · 27/04/2024 20:16

sheoaouhra · 27/04/2024 20:12

everybody is somebody's "toxic".

Oooh I love this.

Honestly I think most of us have very little introspection of our own toxic traits.

fiskalina · 27/04/2024 20:15

No I don't think they do. For them
it's a way to get through life the only way they know how to. Reflecting on the way they behave would be too confronting and difficult I think.

GerbilsForever24 · 27/04/2024 20:14

No of course not. Toxic people by definition have disordered thinking and don’t. Know that their behaviour is problematic.

Beddgelert · 27/04/2024 20:14

Wolf in sheep’s clothing are the most toxic of all.

Those that acknowledge their toxic traits are far less toxic than those that don’t.

Deludamol · 27/04/2024 20:13

No, I think they are convinced that other people are to blame.

sheoaouhra · 27/04/2024 20:12

everybody is somebody's "toxic".

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 27/04/2024 20:11

Oh this is a really thought provoking question!

I don't think they do tbh, the most toxic person I know has always had massive fallings out with (everyone) but its never (always) their fault. I genuinely don't think she knows or cares how her behaviour affects others.

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